Religiously G0Y...

Early on I discovered that things are hardly ever what they appear, and that wishing something away does not make it so.  I've been a guy into guys for as long as I can remember.  Being raised in a conservative town in a conservative family & attending a conservative church (Baptist), you'd think this would be a breeding ground for conservatives.  What was bred there was hypocrisy and since discovering this website, I'm going to blow the lid off it.  Some might question: "So what?".  Well, if you believe (as I do) that people are basically the same wherever you go, then I'm blowing the lid off the hypocrisy of a lot of small communities.

See, g0ys abound.  That's become one of my most favorite expressions.  We really can hide in broad daylight, but the fun begins when the lights go out.  Like many of the guys here, -- I've never hooked up with another guy just for "sex".  I want deep friendships that have meaning.  As many g0ys know, -- sex is something that may or may not ever happen with 2 guys.  However, the journey yields its own rewards.  Part of that journey, at least for me, was in "church".  The incredible thing about hooking up with guys in church is that nobody believes it is going on right under their noses.  See, the stereotype of what being "gay" is about provides excellent camouflage for g0ys.  Rule #1: Make lots of guy friends.  This is usually easy to do.  Rule #2 is get a 2-man tent for sleep-overs.  Rule #3 is to set it up in a secluded area that offers privacy.  You might discover your own rules, though.  I had a friend who's rule was: "Remodel the basement & have your room down there".  He was the son of a small contractor & put early gained knowledge into practical use.  My room was a remodeled attic -- the entire attic.  Very private.  I also had a 2-man tent for sleep outs. 

My friend Cameron was a total stud. He was also a super nice guy.  He moved into town while we were in 7th grade & over the next few years, we became great friends.  Despite the fact that we were both into "church" things, we were also into "guy" things (sports, etc) & being naive teens, we dealt with all those conflicts of character that society loads without measure onto its members.  It was my sophomore year in High School that I really began to notice Cameron on a physical level.  We played lots of sports & he was really filling out in all the right places.  The guy had massive legs and by that I mean a medium frame with big muscles that hung off the bones while he was relaxed -- with almost no body fat.  Totally testosterone drenched.  We were also hitting the weights & what was happening to Cameron's upper body was art in the making.  If you're g0y ... be sure to keep in shape! (But I digress).

If you think about stuff, you can plan things out.  I set up my 2-man tent about a quarter mile behind my house near a narrow river that flowed by there.  I spent a good chunk of time clearing the trees, stumps & rocks out of the part of the river near the camp-site.  I also used much of that debris to create a restriction to the downstream water flow that caused the river to rise about 3 feet where I had cleared it out -- making it nice & deep.  It had tall banks on each side & with the wall of trees surrounding it, was very private.  Because of the low lay of the land, at night, the area got cool around 3-4 AM and in the fall, it got outright cold.  About 10 yards from the tent, I made a fire pit for cooking all those great outdoor foods that teen guys eat by the car load.  The stage was set.

I focus on Cameron in this account because he was the first g0y friend I had, but not the last.  Furthermore, these friendships often overlapped each other on the timeline & nobody expected anything from anybody else other than being close friends.  My g0y friends also identified as "straight" too.  But, back to Cameron.  After school was out our sophomore year & I had made the campsite, I determined that I was going to get as close to Cameron as two guys could get.  I invited him over on the 4th of July to a camp out with a few other friends (who I invited to bring their own tents).  2 other guys other than Cameron showed up & we had a blast that day doing teen stuff from fireworks to football (or as much as 4 guys can play).   As it got dark, the other guys -- not having brought a tent decided to leave ... leaving me alone with Cameron.  Cameron & I went to the campsite & I started the fire.  It lit the whole area with orange & red. 

Since we were both wearing gym shorts, I suggested we go for a swim.  Cameron agreed & we spent the next hour or so splashing, wrestling & the like.  That swimming spot soon became a favorite among my friends.  But, this night, it was me & Cameron.  After getting out of the water (now pretty tired at about 1AM), we realized that we didn't bring any clothes to change into.  I had actually considered this possibility & dismissed mentioning it because I knew we'd not wear wet clothes into the tent; -- & having no alternates meant sleeping in the raw.  And I wanted to be "in the raw" with Cameron.  As you might have guessed, we decided to sleep nude rather than get the blankets wet so we hung the swim trunks just outside the tent zipper-door & crawled in for the night.  I had brought 2 sleeping bags and had unzipped both ... using one as a liner for the tent bottom & the other as a large blanket.  This meant that Cameron & I were side by side. 

I don't really remember what we talked about in any detail.  I do recall feeling that nervous anticipation in the pit of my stomach hoping for something to get Cameron to move closer to me.  Then it happened.  From outside the tent, we could hear an animal foraging around.  I figured probably a raccoon -- because of the growls it was emitting as it got near to the tent.  I'm not scared of small animals like that, but suggested to Cameron that we make sure we were not by the tent edges just in case it tried to bite into the fabric --lest we get nipped & end up having "painful" rabies treatment.  Cameron agreed & we both moved toward the tent center away from the sides.  I rearranged the pillows some & wrapped an arm under/around Cameron pulling against me at an angle so that he was on his left side pushed up against me with his right arm around me & head resting on the pillow on my right shoulder.  The raccoon continued to scamper around the tent, growling & occasionally brushing up against the material.  Cameron was originally from the city & this thing with the "wild animal" had him on edge.  I played the "serious card", but in my mind was trying to come up with a way to keep the raccoon handy for future campouts!

Cameron's skin was roughened by goose pimples but his belly & groin were warm.  It was dark in the tent so touch & sound was all I had to use a cues.  I whispered: "Nervous"?  Cameron affirmed it so I pulled him closer like a hug & with my right hand (that arm wrapped around him) I began to slowly massage his neck & upper back.  It took all of 15 seconds to feel his muscles begin to relax all over his body (massage is that fast) as he began to collapse into me.  I asked Cameron if he'd ever had his back slow cracked before & he said "no".  That was good because I had made up the term right there.  I explained (in a whisper) that the spine will crack almost by itself if the supporting muscles are relaxed enough & that it feels pretty good, -- if he wanted to try.  Since the massage was already relaxing him, he agreed & I used this as an excuse to get him to slide over more so that he was atop of me, pecs2pecs, balls to balls. His knees rested on the tent floor between my legs (my legs were bent apart) as I brought my legs in some so that my lower legs embraced his from both sides.  With both hands, I applied deep slow pressure along his back, neck & lower spine.  Cameron's breathing was getting deeper & as I applied a good amount of pressure on his lower back, I felt the slow hardening throb from between his legs that caused him to groan some.  Pretending not to notice, I continued the slow massage & mentally monitored his growing erection as it grew against mine.  After the third twitch & soft groan, I lightened up on the massage & slowed it down even more to a light ultra-slow crawl of my hands over his skin.  He was totally turned on

This went on for a long time ... maybe almost an hour.  During that time, my friendship with Cameron was cemented in a non-verbal way.  His gentle, powerful & massively handsome physique felt so wonderful pressing down on mine.  His little whimpers, shutters & twitches spoke volumes about what he was feeling & we didn't want the feelings to end for either of us.  As I've read in other accounts on this site, -- there was no frantic thrusting or attempts to "gratify" anyone.  This facet of tender sexuality has been a constant in my relationships with other guys.  The attraction is so powerful & feedback from the feelings so potent that orgasm is driven by the erotic KNOWLEDGE of what the other guy is feeling.  It happens from the mind-down more than from the dick-up.  When it finally does happen, it's a powerful body-wide experience.  Most g0ys share similar accounts. 
With Cameron, his whimpering turned into literal sobs as his body stiffened & he proceeded to empty his copious nutt through his frantically shooting cock.  I've seen things so beautiful they made me cry in response ... sometimes principles seen only in my mind can do this.  This is what Cameron "sees" when he shoots ... something so astonishing & powerful in his minds eye that it drives him to tears.  Making it happen to him is beautiful in and of itself.  It's like a level of nakedness that radiates vulnerability & attracts love like nothing else I've ever seen.  If you know what it's like to love another person so much you'd be willing to die for them ... that sums up what I feel for Cameron (& still do till this day).  We cuddled the rest of the night; & the next day, neither one of us talked about it (Denial isn't just a river in Egypt)!  We acted like it didn't happen!  Can you say "cognitive dissonance"? 

The next weekend, we had a repeat performance -- only my "best buddy the raccoon" was nowhere to be found.  Cameron asked me to "slow crack" his back again.  One thing led to another & mutual splooge'n was the result; -- but several times that night (We were a couple of machines ;-).  The next weekend brought us together again ... only the next day Cameron asked me if I thought we were turning gay.  Something in me realized something profound, & I told him that because nobody did anybody's ass, - it wasn't 'gay' as everybody 'knew' gay was about.  I also said that he was such a great friend that I'd be willing to take a bullet for him & that attitude didn't seem very "gay" to me.  Besides, he was dating someone named Michelle -- so obviously he wasn't 'gay'.  It was naive at the time, but the rationalizations worked!  Whenever the "church leaders" would go spouting off about "ho-moe-sex-shuals", we had the 'understanding' that the leaders were pretty sloppy in their "preech'n".  I wish so badly that I'd known about g0ys back then!  The explanations here using the scriptures would have been powerful counters against the lies being thrown out by the Baptists in my home town.  I think that Galatians 3:28 has the power to topple the entire Southern Baptist Convention (& others) if they'd ever stop to read it & consider the ramifications!

Today, my friend Cameron is a pastor (yeah)...he has been for a few years!  He's married & has 3 awesome kids.  Several weeks ago, I called him & when he was able to talk without being eavesdropped on, I mentioned our past & how deep our friendship was.  I then gave him the link to this website.  Two days later, he called me back & over tears of (joy, relief, enlightenment; -- pick an adjective), he thanked me for making sense out of an enigma that had dogged him for years - in light of bad fundamentalist theology that condemns all same sex activity as "evil".  He explained that now that he understands this issue reframed in this way, that many other "mysteries" of the Scripture suddenly make perfect sense -- and are logical in their layout, -- no longer unbacked or unexplainable dogmas.  He added that he finally understood what was really going on between David & Jonathan!  Duh! 

What I've found is that this issue of "sexuality" is not a single issue that stands alone, but connects to many others.  This is especially true in Christian theology.  Until a person understands the nuances of gender, sexuality & how God frames the issue/s around them, they will be unable to understand other matters of theology because their presumptions about the way things are - blind them to the points the Scripture is trying to make -- often deep issues of justice & understanding the proper use of law. In misunderstanding these principles, they ultimately violate them, -- destroying lives in the process!   It seems ironic to me that the 'churches' within North America who are the best funded in the world, have let this issue & the prejudices surrounding it, blind them to the gospel -- the very message they claim to preach (but cannot because in their minds, - what they call "homosexuality" is bigger than their so-called gospel of 'salvation through faith').  And it is a false gospel of "working your Way through Ex-Gay" that illustrates that they have a form of godliness, but deny the power thereof.  After all, if Yeshua cancelled the written code that stood against me (Col 2:14), and if in Christ there is N0 male & Female (Gal 3:28); -- Then why all the emphasis from the religious right on a single genetic letter (X or Y) after a leading "X"?

"They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator..."
That excerpt suddenly takes on a new meaning when you finally understand just WHO is exchanging the truth for the lie!