I've never been drunk. I don't drink - at least like most people "drink".  Sure - I have a glass of wine with my meal or a beer with friends -- but NEVER more than 1 drink an hour. Sound boring?  There are some things you need to consider.

First - I've always been into guys. Second - I don't let that tid-bit out.  I used to consider myself straight-acting.  But, since I discovered this site, I've realized that it's way more than that.  See - I've never been attracted to the gay community because of the gender-bending, camp & anal-sex.  That's the worst: playing in arses - in shit & pretending it's 'sexy'.  Phuck'n sick-o is what I call it & I'm almost tempted to label everyone who does it as a 'perv' - except for the fact that I know how dumb some of the greatest guys can be.  To those guys I have just one comment: "WTF? Dude!"? 
When I'm around a guy - I don't want to be able to detect the least sign of butt-plug mentality.  Flamboyance, arrogance & campy actions are serious personality negatives.  Being around a guy who acts a little bitchy is a little like being around someone who has stepped in a little dog shit.  The occasional detection of a whiff of the stuff is a major stomach turner.  I can't stand arse phuckers & I've always been outspoken about it.  It keeps the fags away & my male buddies feel comfortable around me - even when we're in tight.  So, I considered myself str8-acting until I discovered 'g0y'.  ... And this b0y - is g0y!

Drinking leads to sloppy.  When you're a guy into guys -- "sloppy" can be socially deadly.  Furthermore - if you don't drink, it explains to the guys why you don't dive into the same mosh-pit.  They don't expect you to mess around -- because you're straight, eh - sober, I mean.  So, I'm the driver.  I'm the baby-sitter.  I'm the fight-breaker.  I'm the guy with the sober-solution.  I'm the sober eye-witness that keeps my buds out of jail.   I'm the guy who helps make the hangover symptoms go away (or at least makes them not as severe).  I'm a 'true-friend'.

And I do it all for free.  Well -- pretty much "free".  What it costs my buds is their inhibitions - which they were gonna part with anyhow.  Once they've ante'd up with the loss of theirs - I spend all night getting close & do it so subtly that I'm invisible in the process.  Me drinking would mess that up. 

So, - I let my buds get that way, instead. Tuff-guy becomes the drunk crying on my shoulder.  Mr. Macho becomes the guy asleep in my half-embrace.  The Babe-Bedder becomes the Boy-bod in the bed - beside me.  It's impossible to predict in advance - so I play the numbers.  Go out with 3 guys - & one of them is bound to get trashed & need a place to stay tonite.  He can stay at my place - of course.  I have a couch so sometimes (2) can stay.  The better stud gets to share my bed with me.  After all - we're all great friends.

Don't get me wrong ... I've been putting the moves on my friends for years.  I wrestle, joke & always make subtle comments about how great they are as guys.  I disarm dudes by the way I treat them -- & always use respect to lock the love in place.  Guys respond to that.  Guys love to be admired & appreciated by other guys.  Guys love to be respected by guys whom they respect -- & they respect me.  But, when I hit high late school & began to see what the party could do to put my buds on the frottage-fast track ... that's when I realized that I could do a week's work in a single weekend -- simply by being nearby.  They were better off with me than without me; -- & I got to know them - at least lots of them - on a level most guys never bond at. 

"Motion sickness tabs? It'll help reduce the hangover."  That's the question.  Most guys will take you up on the offer.  What most don't know is that they amplify the effect of any alcohol.  The guy gets blasted earlier & drinks less.  Less booze means less hangover.  Of course - when the guy finally passes out - he'll be down for the count.  Always tell the guy what it is -- just keep the side effect info to yourself.  This way - the guys knows what he's taking & if he has any allergies - you'll not be accidentally poisoning the dude.  Oh - & once the guy has swallowed the pill - you'd better be ready to cover his arse.  Never leave a bro in pending helplessness. 

Between 2-5AM is when you'll usually get to move in closer.  Lots of times it was after getting back to my place.  Sitting down for a while with the TV on will often set a trend where guys keep nodding off.  Getting the party animals to calm down is the key.  Soon, they'll be sprawled out over the furniture.  This is when you haul out the blankets & assign sleeping quarters.  The stud sleeps in my room - with me.  If there is (1) sofa & (2) guys, I usually tell them to pick a number between 1 and 100 & tell me their 'guess'.  Then I tell them the number that "I had in mind" - which is always closest to the number the stud's buddy picked.  He gets the sofa.  The bigger-stud has to "bunk with me". Get it?

Yeah - usually a decision has to be made between which guy to bed.  However, if both guys are extremely trashed - bunk with them both.  There are a few reasons: You need to keep an eye on them if they're really blitzed - just so one won't get himself in respiratory distress or worse.  If you must leave a guy passed out somewhere (an alley doesn't count as a valid 'somewhere'), - make sure to leave him face down - with his face turned outward away from anything that could block his breathing if he shifts position.  This way - if he pukes his guts out - he won't aspirate vomit into his airway.  That very thing has killed more than a few drunk studs - & it's totally preventable.  Now that you know this;  - if you ever let it happen to a bud, you're gonna feel like shit - forever.

Like I said -- the night is a puzzle that needs solving so that the final picture comes out right.  At your bedside, tell them to strip down so they don't bring a sandbox into your bed.  At the same time, shut the light off & strip down to your briefs yourself.  This sets the tone - & if you're comfortable in your brief's, they're gonna be in their's too.  Shutting the light down (or dimming substantially) also removes feelings of self-consciousness should they have any in their condition.  If your bud's so wasted that he's having a difficult time getting the clothes off, -- step in & with a smile & friendly demeanor - & help him get undressed.  Be casual & relaxed about all this - & never put anyone down because they're blitzed.  He/they went out to have a good time with you.  Don't begin to play sour notes, now!  You luv 'em.  No better time to let it radiate from you than now!  Once they're in bed beside you, take the initiative & slide an arm under them & pull toward you so that they're snug up against you - turned toward you some.  You'll probably want to have a thin pillow or two nearby so that each guy can rest his head on your shoulder-pec area.  Once you're in position with your arm around them, apply some slow deep - but gentle massage movements along the guy's shoulder & neck area.  It will take usually less than 60 seconds before they guy totally relaxes into the feeling & will begin to groan softly while cuddling closer to you.  If there are 2 guys - they're usually quite quiet as the massage gets them (because, I'm assuming you're in bed with both because they're both really trashed); -- but a lone dude will often be more vocal & express how great that feels & what a good friend he thinks you are.  

Beyond this point, things get more subjective - based on your relationship to date.  It's usually pretty easy to get a drunk dude out of his underclothes completely so that you can enjoy the feel of his nude virility against you.  Once he's passes out - he's usually quite agreeable.  If you are massaging the dude & you discover he has a hard on - slide out of your underclothes first.  When he realizes that you're nude -- he'll usually be willing to strip down into the raw too.  Rolling him face to face against you is usually pretty easy at that point & depending on how trashed he is -- will determine if you should actively slo-milk his dick with yours or let them have a gradual conversation that gets more intense as time passes.  Be sure to have some skin lotion/lube handy for slow-strok'n & mutual cock-rubb'n.  0h - don't ever perform fellatio on the guy unless you're absolutely sure he's STD-free & willing <duh>!

If you're gonna make a pass at the guy while he's sleeping, - be sure that you know the consequences if he freaks out on you.  I'm usually great  friends with the dude & we're usually always groping each other anyway - just joking around (of course ;-).  You've gotta be on the same social footing with the guy or just a little bit his "alpha".  Then your approach needs to be in context with your friendship.  Like I said, my friend Chaz & I use to grope each other in fun all the time.  When I finally got him passed out, I bound his arms over his head with bundle ties inside a sock (to keep them from cutting him)  & bundle ties holding his knees together.  His ankles were likewise restrained & I had a sheet tied between his wrists & ankles - running at a diagnal under the bed - so when he'd try to bend his knees, torso or elbows, it would pull him taut from the other end.  Once he was tied -- I began to tickle him on his floating ribs to awake him from his deep drunken sleep.  Being in no condition to put up a fight -- he just drunkenly wiggled & plead for me to stop.  I began to taunt him with "being a wuss" in a friendly tone.  Soon, with an arm behind his back, I was gently tickling his lower left side & as he sloppily struggled with his drunken energy- I mentioned that he was gonna get cock-tortured if he didn't man-up his escape attempts.  With my right hand I began to massage his cock 'n balls which made him laugh harder & fight a little stronger.  Increasing the pressure & stroking rate on his penis, -- I cut back on the tickling & accused him of liking the feeling -- all done with a huge grin in my voice.  His laughter & drunk struggling gradually diminished as he got hard & the feeling became more intense.  Soon, I slid his briefs down & mine off.  Then I mounted him face to face & slow humped his cock with mine until he arched his back & pumped out the thick spunky creme' sauce that I'd so thoughtfully coaxed from his balls.  We called each other a few names between smiles & I eventually slid into a massage all over him.  He nodded off to passed-out again & then I untied him.  It became "just one bud giving another a helping hand" - thing between us.  Between us - tickling & sexual response became "one-up'ns" on each other.  We really did love each other - so getting the guy laughing in hysterics or so hard he wanted to hump your leg were both friendly goals when we'd wrestle.  We'd both ultimately "get off', but who got one over on who was the friendly point of contention. 

My friend "Sheldon" was a cute guy.  We grew up down the street from each other & were good friends.  But, as puberty hit him his Junior year -- man!  What a constant hard-on he put in my shorts.  We'd always been close as friends & we horsed around quite a bit.  He really enjoyed the attention too.

About half way thru our Junior year - he came over to visit on a Friday evening.  We got wrestling & I got wood.  Well, he noticed - so I looked down & in "mock-shock" & growled back at him while smiling, "You phuck'n pretty-boy; ... look what you've gone & done to me!"  He had a grin that went ear to ear as we kept wrestling.  Then it was him who reached down & gave it a squeeze while he roared in more laughter.  See, having the guts to grab a guys nads is funny among good friends.  Anyway, I commented something along the lines of "Oh, you think that's funny, huh?" - & then I pinned him so that I had a free hand.  I began to gently scratch his cock thru the material of his shorts & he began to inflate instantly -- all while laughing & trying to get position.  With all my energy, I pushed both his arms behind his back & wrapped my legs around him - cock2cock & began to hard grind into him while saying, "First one to shoot is a puss-pad."

I had him pinned & there was nothing for him to do buð%¸»ïUð%¸»ïUPS>»ïU€ë>»ïUX&¸»ïU&¸»ïU‚"&¸»ïUperineum near his cock-head.  The feeling of it made him struggle & moan like a cat in heat as the feeling literally made his legs jump.  It was no time & that blonde haired, square-jawed head pushed back into his pillow as his back arched & I could feel his dick - pumping away against mine - absolutely out of control.   Of course - feeling my buddy have his nutt was all I could take & I was soon pumping away on top of him.  According to the rules, I'd "won"; -- So when we caught our breath, I let him know he was a "giant puss-pad" & would remain one until he won 2 out of 3.  He was still grinning when he quietly asked, "Hey ... you're not gonna tell anyone about this? ..." 

I answered like, "Yeah ... right, let people know that I got wood with you.... I don't think so."

"I just don't want people spreading any 'fag rumors'...", he clarified.

"Hey - no shit on either dick & not gonna be.  I'd never dis you with that homo shit, Bro...", I replied in an assuring tone.

He ended up staying over & we ended up going for round #2 at about 3AM.  We decided it was a "draw" & the next day - we went at it again.  Fact was -- it felt better than any jack-off session & we both made that point after splooging in round #3.

Sheldon was a skirt chaser - but all the skirts knew he was -- & he was not a whore-dog.  This translated into him chasing the skirts who did not have an "easy" reputation.  It was probably the right strategy - but left him with blue balls almost daily.  Every few days, he'd hook up with me & we'd end up slow wrestling & eventually in the raw pumping out a few days worth of sexual tension in the process.  It was never a "gay" thing & nobody played the bitch.  We were just totally comfortable with each other & as truely "buddies" as two guys can be.  We'd lay there in the afterglow & he'd talk about this chick or that & if he didn't have me to talk him thru this he'd probably go nuts (in more ways than one).  I'd always tell him what I thought about his chick-pick of the week & let him know that whatever he decided, he was my bud & I loved his guts regardless.

OK - now the argument - the logistics: Was this "Same-sex affection".  Obviously, it was.  Was it "gAy"? No. To those who want to argue on that last point, I'll expand my answer with an undeniable set of facts.

For instance - what we call "g0y" men, established the law in ancient Greece with full support of the Greek majority.  In that time frame (<>1000 BC), male/male unions were open & celebrated domestic partnerships. Anal sex, was specifically outlawed.  Outlawed!  Now, can you visualize the modern "gAy male" culture trying to live in that legal atmosphere?  The entire Greek legal system would have declared them a bunch of outlaw - perverts!  However, G0YS flourished in that setting & it's what we've been trying to explain for some time now. 

Male to male affection is n0t what the modern "gAy male" is fixated on.  See for yourself: Try to locate a single "gay" adult video marketed by the big labels that contain anything other than anal sex in every single movie.  The truth is that modern "gAy" culture (fixated on Anal) is not even 50 years old.  G0YS have a cultural heritage that stretches back to the beginning of recorded civilization.  The ravages of AIDS (& the like) that devastate/d the "gAy" community <2 decades back did not affect g0ys other than the periphery of female2male contagion.

If you follow history - every single culture that has allowed anal sex to become acceptable practice has slid into obscurity within 100 years of doing so.  Disease is an equal opportunity destroyer.  Based on the death figures in Japan at the end of WWII; -- you would need in excess of 50 of the nuclear weapons shown detonated (right) to equal the mortality that STD's like AIDS have brought to the globe since 1980 alone!  What practice had spread them more efficiently than ever before?  The widespread acceptance of anal-sex! Facts don't budge for political arguments.  Does the fact that this toll on life happens in relative quietness (compared to the mushroom cloud & subsequent 'boom!') - justify it?

Being g0y is about loving masculinity within the man, -- not being fetished with the effeminate.  Being g0y is being comfortable being male & recognizing those traits in men we are bonded to.  Most g0ys have very high standards as to the kind of guy they intimately bond with.  Studs seek studs & generally - shun sissies.  Why?  Image ... & image is formed by peers.  Most men acknowledge this on a very basic level.  This is why so many guys do not have effeminate men or known fags as part of their "inner circle".  The circle indicates acceptance; & acceptance equals joint interests & implies a sharing of activities.  Most men know this. "I don't hang out with fags because I don't want people to think I'm one!", - a very common rationale.  G0YS understand it completely & we agree.  Those preaching "tolerance" need to phuck-off & quit prostituting themselves in the name of politics & "correct speech". 

I have - & always have had friends whom I had no physical attraction to (for whatever reason).  However, - I've had other friendships w. guys who had the right combination of traits to flip all my 'bonding switches" ... guys like Chaz & Sheldon.  Because I was a "tough guy", - I often found myself as a role model to younger guys.  They wanted to hang around me & my friends.  they wanted to do lots of the things we were doing.  As a role model - I got a chance to show quite a few of these guys that there were moral boundaries that should always be considered & that simply being tender on another dude wasn't a 'gAy' thing.  If more Fathers took the time to bond with their own kids & let them know that men loving men wasn't taboo -- we'd have more men with skilled empathic abilities - & fewer out pounding arses in an attempt to have "manhood rub off" on their neglected psyche's.  It's become a sad fact that in this day & age, here in the west -- you've got to get a beer or two into a guy before he'll be loose enough to put an arm around ya!  It's not seduction & he's not a fAg for being affectionate.  With many guys - it's something they'd do more naturally if it wasn't for the stigma of the arse-phuckers.  Now there's g0y.  Join us.