"Dustin" Spills it...

It's been about 20 years now and I thought I was an oddity until I discovered this site..  My personal sexual trek began as a teen when my sister grabbed my arm & dragged me into the sitting room to show me that "I was on TV".  I was almost 14 and the guy I saw on TV could have been my twin brother -- except my eyes were really green.  I found out this guy's name was Brian Bloom & he was playing a character named Dusty.  Since my name is Dustin, the coincidence kinda freaked me out a little.  I had noticed more girls wanting to "be friends" with me, but I didn't realize what they were seeing in me.  Seeing this guy on TV & hearing how hard it was to get an acting role on a soap was a hint that nature might have gifted me with something extraordinary.  I began to watch people out of the corner of my eye as they watched me.  I noticed that lots of people were staring at me while they thought I wasn't looking back.  It was near the end of my 8th grade year & at the prom I pulled my friend Jon aside & asked him -- "No BS ... Do people say I'm good looking.".  Jon just kinda stood there with an astonished look on his face & said something like, "Shit ya.  Do you know how many guys would kill to look like you do?  Half the girls say you look like that guy on TV.  What are you .... slow?"  His words stuck in my ears all summer.  I began to notice when girls would get all nervous around me & screw up what they were doing.  Whenever I'd get an ice-cream or something, I learned to stand in the line with the female server because it was like I'd always get more or special treatment. 

In all this, there was a detail that nobody knew.  I could have cared less about girls.  Sure, as friends they were great -- but that's where my interest stopped.  All I cared about was sports & some of my teammates were guys I'd whose friendship meant more to me than anything else. 

Anyway, the whole scene changed when I hit high school.  Most of my friends were going to different schools & this place was Class A -- about 2500 students.  Who was I here?  I signed up for freshman football tryouts & met lots of guys on the Varsity team.  While sign-ups were going on, this guy named Joey met with me & mentioned that the swim team was looking for people & if I felt like taking a look.  I said I'd consider it.  Well, after hammering on my schedule for a few days, it looked like there was no way that I was going to be able to join swim team.  I told Joey & he took it pretty well.  He said that since the rumor got out that I was considering joining, all kinds of other people had signed up -- girls & guys.  He said I must be a popular guy to have such influence.  I shrugged it off & told him that it must be the size of the school & people getting their schedules worked out.  He said that maybe I was right & put a hand on my shoulder & told me to keep in touch & consider next year.  His hand -- still cool from being in the pool rested for what seemed a little longer than "normal" on my shoulder & then gently slid down over my back as Joey gave me a gentle pat, - & then jogged off to his next rendezvous. 

I was getting my growth spurt in full force near the second semester & I spent lots of time working out with the other players from all the teams.  I was extremely well developed for a freshman at about 160 lbs & fast -- playing QB.  The coaches & upper classman were all watching; -- & I began to experience people wanting to be friends -- especially upper classman.  I had "fair-weather-friends" pouring out of my ears; -- & every cheerleader wanted to be "friends" with me.  I had become accustomed to watching people out of my peripheral vision & noticed the ways that lots of girls stared at me.  However, I began to notice the side glances of certain guys linger.  Some of them creeped me out because certain guys were "out" as fags (just a handful).  On a basic level, I suppose I was like a hypocrite for keeping my true feelings so tightly closeted.  However, these guy who were "out" were -- as a rule of thumb extremely flamboyant & borderline obnoxious.  A few of them touted mannerisms that seemed more appropriate to ugly bitches ... than guys.  Watching these guys check me out made me nervous & I think a little bit angry because on a personality level, we had almost nothing in common; -- So the thought of being 'classified' as one of 'them' because of the fact I preferred the company of "men", -- pissed me off.  As a result, there were a few really good looking cheerleaders I made "close" friends with to have the cover of "straightness".  They sat with me at lunch & on the bus & on the grounds, etc.  As a result, a few guys began to hang out with me because of my "harem"! I've since learned that the term is "lekking".  I didn't mind it because some pretty hott guys decided it was better to join me than try to "beat me".  I also began to privately watch the soap that Brian Bloom was on  to pick up on his mannerisms. Over the next year - I continued to morph into his character's personna on a basic level. Whenever someone would mention him to me, - I'd pretend to vaguely know that he was some guy on some soap-opera somewhere. People used the word "doppleganger" about me when speaking about him. It was awesome - I'll admit it. 

I also have to admit: I was looking for ways to hook up with guys without being a "fag".  Almost sounds impossible -- like an oxymoron, yeah?  Well ... I began to figure out that there was more at work in all this social chaos than just straight guys & fags.  That's when I stumbled onto the book "Sexuality in the Human Male" by A. Kinsey.  It was actually in the library!  I remember taking a mental note of it's location & going back to the library on the weekend & talking a janitor to let me in to study for a "term paper".  I got the book & went to the most secluded part of the library I could find with it.  Over the next few hours, I read & re-read parts of the book.  It blew my mind that this had been written at the end of the 1940's!  What this guy - Kinsey - found out about men was totally at odds w. what everyone talked like.  Either his research was way off base, of there was a big lie being told & retold in the halls every day.  Could a lie be that big?  I thought about what I felt & how I hid it; -- & it suddenly dawned on me that I must be pretty paranoid (& arrogant) to think I was the only guy who could be pulling such an excellent con-job on those around me.  I had this reputation as a "stud" & there were even girls spreading rumors that they had done this thing or that with me.  The truth was that other than short little kisses (pecks), I hadn't done anything with any of them.  However, when I was in the lockers with the other guys, I made a conscious effort to keep my eyes above their waists.  I thought about all the locker room talk of tits, ass & the hostility at "fags".  Could even half of this talk be a smokescreen?  I left the library that day with a different view of the world -- a view where the lie promoted itself with fear & innuendo and the lie pointed at the effeminate "out guys" as the example of what "gay" was.  I suddenly had a lot more understanding (& maybe pity) -- not only for the "out guys" who had become the brunt of a stereotype, -- but for the guys who must be in the locker room every day, like me -- scared as hell that they'd be exposed as "being into guys".  Kinsey indicated that it was well over a third of them - even half or more in some stats!  Even one out of three who might 'kinda' be into guys...  Man!  Almost too big a number to consider was even close to being accurate!

I began to replay the lingering glances that I'd seen from guys in the locker room.  They didn't linger as long as those from girls did & they seemed more alert to being discovered.  It dawned on me that this is exactly what it must look like when I was checking out a guy when I thought he was looking the other way!  Of course, I'd also found ways to check a guy out while talking to him.  An easy way was to discuss some new safety device he was wearing & while "scoping it out", I was scoping him out.  Get caught staring at a guy; -- Ask for a stick of gum or a breath mint from him.  Ask to borrow 25 cents ... anything to throw off the scent of scoping for the sake of scoping!  

In October I was invited to attend a Halloween party at one of the seniors houses (his parents were going out of town).  His name was Dan & he was a varsity football player -- one who had gone out of the way to be my friend.  He said anyone who wanted to could bring a date but no chicks were invited without dates because if his parents ever found out ... it would hit the fan.  Well, about 20 guys showed up and about 10 of them had dates.  There was booze there, but not if you were driving, so those 10 guys & their dates ended up leaving at about midnight for better stomping grounds.  A few of the other guys ended up leaving too so by around 3 AM, it was down to Dan, me & a couple of other dudes who had passed out in the living room.  I'd had a beer earlier, but Dan (who had much more in him than a beer) insisted that I stay because I'd been drinking  (Okay...).  He asked me if I wanted to sleep in the guest room or his.  I told him the guest room (to be polite) & he led me to it.  He was pretty messed up - drunk.  Dan was a 6'2", 210 lb. linebacker who was in excellent shape.  He was a total package from his blonde hair & blue eyes to his well muscled legs.    He had a great sense of humor but he was homophobic (outspoken against 'all those ass phuckers').  I liked him, but he intimidated me some.  Anyhow, he showed me the guest room & left to use the bathroom.  I stripped to the raw (I sleep in the nude) & climbed into the clean sheets.  Surprisingly, about 10 minutes after I was in bed, the door opened & Dan came back in because he "wanted to talk some" now that the music was off & he could hear himself think.  He sat on the lower edge of the bed & through a thickening slur of drunk, told me about his parents always on the road & his father was really his step father because his real father had left when he was young. He drolled on for a while & then he added that he had never been able to figure out what he'd done wrong to make his father leave, but whatever it was he hadn't meant to do it. 

That statement really caught me off guard.  Could this guy honestly be under the impression that HE had done something as a kid to make his father leave?  Dan wasn't too bright; -- a fun guy & real party animal, but not a lot of depth.   I sat up & asked him if he'd ever told that to anyone else before.  He said no .. he kept it inside but the booze must be making him talk.  I told him: "Dan, you're not the reason he left.  Understand?  You're not the reason.  My folks split up when I was 5 and for a few years I thought it was because I broke the window while playing baseball!  Dan, adults don't react to kid things by splitting up!  Think about how corny that sounds now that you're an adult!"  Suddenly I felt really sorry for this guy. He just sat there with his lower lip quivering some.  I put both arms around the guy & in a tight hug I continued: "Young kids something think a parent's leaving is their fault, but it NEVER is Bro.  Besides, who in their right mind would leave on account of a guy as totally awesome as you?", - I comforted.  That's all it took -- as Dan returned the hug & burying his face in my neck just let the waterworks go full blast.  After about 10 minutes or so, his sobs let up as he told me thanks & that nobody had ever told him he was an "awesome guy" & I was a real friend to tell him that.  I responded that he needed to begin to hang out with people were weren't afraid to let an occasional compliment slip.  He grinned some, & following my instinct, I planted a dry kiss on his forehead while I briefly tightened my hug.

Relaxing my hug after 10 seconds or so, I laid back down staring at Dan as he sat there in the dim light.  He had a confused look on his face like he wanted to say something but he didn't know how.  He just sat there for 30 seconds, a minute -- totally silent but looking up toward me every so often.  A minute turned into 2 and I knew he must have something heavy on his mind to just sit there & not say anything. I sat back up & put both arms around him.  Pulling him back in my direction I told him to relax & I'd hammer the tension out of him.  I started giving his upper body a firm massage.  Within a minute, I had his shirt off.  As I concentrated on his thighs & legs, I suggested we toss his boxers off so I could get his glutes too.  He did.  Within 15 minutes, I had the guy naked & barefoot enjoying a body-wide massage.  The fact he was drunk lowered his inhibitions & I guess knowing this made me bolder too.

I ended up giving him a good half hour massage before mentioning how tired I was.  I tugged the covers out from under him.  He said something about getting up & going to his room.  I cut him off & matter of factly announced that that he couldn't leave because there were no teddy bears in the room, -- so he'd just have to fill in the gap.  As I pulled him toward me & threw the blankets over us, he just laughed.
Finally, there was nothing in between us -- now that we were both under the blankets.  My heart was pounding but I played it cool.  Dan was on his back beside me & I was on my side.  Slowly I used the fingertips & palm of my right hand to lightly & slowly stroke his neck, chest & belly causing goose pimples to raise the hairs all over the general area.  Dan asked why I treated him so nice & I point blank told him it was because he was a great friend & I loved him a lot.  My answer must have really hit a soft spot because he wrapped both arms around me & pulled me in toward his chest.  I instinctively used his motion to slide on top of him so we were chest 2 chest, naval 2 naval.  I rested my head on his left collarbone and with my right ear downward, I could hear his heart pounding quickly.  At the same time, I felt his velvety-hard cock between us. I was hard in an instant beside his & I could feel my balls straddling the base of his erection.  His dick gave a strong throb making him gasp some & then his meaty arms wrapped tighter around my upper body as he wrapped his legs around mine increasing the force our dicks met with.  I used my strength to wrap my arms all the way around him  - one up near the top of his back & the other down lower on the small. 
Dan slowly & gently used his fingertips to lightly scratch around on my back as he hugged me.  I groaned weakly & told him he was putting me to sleep.  I told him that so I could pretend to pass out, -- so if he needed, he could cum without getting panicky that I might rat him for shooting with another guy.  About a minute passed & I modified my breathing to make it sound like I was sleeping.  Soon after my breathing had taken on the timber of raspy sleep, Dan's dick began to stiffen & recoil more & more frequently.  He was slowly moving both hands the length of my back, -- starting at my neck & slowly gliding over my ribs on each side of my spine.  Getting low, he'd extend his fingertips to cover my glutes & pull up gently increasing the pressure between our dicks even more.  This caused my dick to throb hard and being against his, - he felt it too (which drove him closer to the edge).  His breathing was faster & louder as he cuddled with me.  Finally he gasped & groaned.  As his back arched I slid my hand from the small of his back down a little more & applied some pressure as I ground my engorged cock along side of his.  He wrapped his arms & legs tighter around me as his fully loaded dick began to propel it's contents onto our upper abs.  Mine joined in with a week's worth of pent up spunk that had been begging for release for days.  It was totally awesome to be wrapped up in a stud like Dan & share that experience from where you both want to shoot your nutt so bad the lower part of your dick feels like its on fire; -- & then as you actually shoot you can feel the amount of cum in each spurt as it travels the length of your dick to freedom -- to mix with the other guy's.  Al Kinsey had just gained major credibility in my eyes...

As I relaxed on Dan, pretending to be groggily asleep, I remember hearing him groggily say under his breath, "Oh man, what have I done....".  I cuddled into him a little tighter & he gently stroked my back with his hands.  Eventually his breathing turned to sleep.   I waited about a half hour until I slowly & carefully rolled off him.  I went to the bathroom & took a long piss.  Upon coming back, the room smelled strongly of booze & guy-spunk.  I can only speculate that if a cologne was made containing a good odor like pine or cinnamon that barely hinted at the man-spunk, - it would be an overnight sensation.  Not that the smell itself was very erotic, but I'd imagine the memories a hint of it would trigger on a subconscious level would be intense -- at least to those who had smelled the odor at least once -- under good circumstances.  But, I digress.  I opened the blinds just a crack to let in some of the early morning light that mingled with the street light -- still on.  I pulled back the covers from Dan to really drink him in with my eyes.  His whole body seemed built to do (2) things: Fight & Phuck.  I think that is the quaint essential logo of masculinity imprinted onto the primitive brain.  Guns 'N Roses ... a brilliant name of that (at the time) new rock group -- a refinement of the 2 elements of being male... (but I digress again).  But of course, in Dan's awesome body was a mind -- one that could reason ... one that could love.  Both aspects had been challenged & conquered with me that night.  I gently stroked Dan's naked physique as he lay there.  I took stock of the little differences between his left & right sides ... even taking note of how well groomed his finger & toenails were; --  & that he kept his body hair trimmed -- even at the crotch zone. I began to wonder how many wars would actually start if men would just take a close look at each other.  If a man can love his own son, -- why not the son of another; & why not the father of that son?  Is the fear of the stereotyped "fag" so strong that it robs men of their ability to see ... to feel ... to love?   

What I felt, I believed with all my being: That which Dan and I had just shared had no feminine component to it.  It was purely male.  There was no role playing.  There was no desire to pretend someone was the "bitch".  Despite the fact that we, as 2 guys had just cumm together, --my feeling was that this relationship was vastly different than the stereotypes of "gay".  My perception of "gay" was that someone became less than a man in pursuit of sex with another man.  Whether by effeminate mannerisms, drag clothing or anal sex ... it dawned on me that what drove the general distaste against the male gay community was the observation that many of these "gay" men surrendered their masculinity in their pursuit of sex.  Such a posturing did not seem "male" to me, but rather degrading & disgusting. 
Dan was a guy.  I was a guy.  What we had shared was equally masculine on both of our parts.  I reasoned that it was this equality that made what we had just experienced very different from the gender-bending representatives of the "gay" community we had all seen on TV from time to time.  Maybe this was part of the "problem" -- trying to lump people together based on how the sex was classified M/M or F/F, -- instead of what the MINDSET of the participants was?  My feeling was that natural male sexuality & the intimate bonding that occurred naturally between men had been confused with the actions of a gender bending minority that not only seemed too vocal at times, but embodied the sentiments of a juvenile psyche full of vanity, hollow pride & a severe lack of real understanding.  Maybe the problem was that we had too many bold, arrogant & ignorant drama queens getting editorials printed.  There had to be an explanation because what Dan & I just experienced was not the same as I saw in the media surrounding "gay pride".  Somewhere, something was being misclassified; -- & men in the millions (according to Kinsey) were living in complete denial of their actual emotional composition -- scared as hell that they'd be labeled "gay" by those who were too: bold, arrogant & ignorant to know the differences.  As one ancient writer had once scolded his readers: "Quit judging by mere appearances & make the proper judgment."

As the sun came up, the increasing light in the room just made Dan seem all the more handsome.  I reached over & gently took his large, flaccid uncircumcised cock in my right hand & began to slowly stroke it so that his foreskin slid along the shaft.  Dan's mouth opened some & he groaned softly.  As I kept up the rhythm, his dick began to inflate quite quickly going to a massive size that must have been 10".  Climbing back on top of him, I pulled the covers over us.  As I slowly slid my erection along the length of his, he began to talk in his sleep & moan softly.  Over the next few minutes, all those wonderful twitches & throbs shot along our mating shafts & Dan's breathing was really picking us as his muscular, sleeping body flexed & twitched under mine.  Finally, Dan stirred just enough to put his arms around me as his cock began to spasm -- quickly causing its contents to gush in a series of moan generating emotion-filled spurts.  Like before, the feeling was so erotic that I shot in time with him.  Over the next 15 seconds or so, we slid into the afterglow & Dan eventually slid back off into sleep.  I just laid there -- listening to his strong heart beat & feeling his skin under mine.  He was so soft & vulnerable while at the same time, muscular & rugged.  What was there not to love about the guy!

I fell asleep.  A few hours later, Dan moving around beneath me woke me up.  I groggily rolled off him as he got up -- still hungover.  He left the room and a few seconds later I could hear the bathroom door close & water hitting the bowl as he took a long piss.  The toilet flushed & then I could hear the sink run as he washed his hands (good boy).  Thinking ahead, I snatched his boxer briefs off the floor & put them under the covers, turned the Venetian blinds to closed - substantially darkening the room; & then I laid there with my eyes closed.  Dan came back into the room & stopped as if looking around for something.  He sat on the bed & asked if I'd seen his boxers.  I reached over & began to scratch his wide back & told him they must be around close by.  As I kept scratching, he began to relax & slouch forward some supporting his weight on his elbows resting them on his knees - & he turned toward me some.  The change in his posture let me reach more of his neck & hairline.  After a minute or so of scratching his scalp, I reached around him & pulled him back under the blankets & with a little effort - was wrapped around him (this time he was face down on top of me as I massaged him into a near coma).  The only part of him that didn't seem to relax was his dick which gradually inflated to full mast & began to hard-throb as I rubbed & cuddled with the guy.  Eventually he let out a deep groan that stiffened his whole body as his orgasm let loose shooting another volley of warm jism that mixed with my own.  I just kept massaging him & over the next few minutes he fell back asleep on top of me.  He must have really been wasted from the previous night.

I let him sleep for another hour as I gently explored his body with my hands.  Eventually, I rolled him back off me & I went down the hallway to take a pissssssssss.  Upon coming back & climbing into bed with him, Dan commented that he was soooooo drunk last night he couldn't remember "hardly anything".  I told him that was too bad because I really enjoyed our time together.  I added by saying that our close friendship & the details were only our business & the close bond we had was nothing I was going to casually discuss with anyone -- & I hoped that  he understood.  He said that he did & that he didn't know why he was "so close" to me other than the fact I was a "great guy".  We ended up snuggling up together again & slept until well into the afternoon (Dan because he was hungover; -- & me -- because I really loved the intimacy with a stud muffin like Dan).  I woke up later with the feel of two large hands lightly stroking all over my body.  As I opened my eyes, I met Dan's gaze & his light smile as he began to stroke my face with the back of his right hand.  I closed my eyes & smiled as his touch moved out from my face to my chest, abs & then down onto the insides of my thighs -- slowly around my balls just staying out of contact with my privates.  My dick began to inflate as one hand continued to linger at my pelvis and the other moved lower onto my legs to my calves & my feet.  Once he hit my feet I thought I was in heaven.  The sensation of a pair of strong hands making all the right moves down there was like a drug.  I just groaned.  Dan took the cue & concentrated his efforts there for a while & totally plastered me.  Then gradually, he begin to move back up the length of my body -- again, just staying out of touch of my inflated dick.  When his hands reached my shoulders, I couldn't take the temptation any more.  I grabbed a wrist in each hand & pulled his arms apart which lowered his chest onto mine.  I then slid my right hand down to his butt & lifted him onto me & then I wrapped my legs around his.  His hard-on pushed firmly into my own as I reached both of my arms around his upper body & hugged him tightly while caressing his upper & lower back.  We moved our hips just enough to slide our swollen dick heads slowly back & forth as the throbbings & spasmings in our shafts & balls got ready to launch our pent up payloads.  We were both groaning pretty loudly partially because it felt so good and partially to reinforce what the other guy was feeling about what he was doing.  Dan's face was pushed up beside mine and our teen shadows were locking together causing of facial skin to slide in short movements as we moved our faces against each other.  Finally Dan arched his back and I felt his ass tighten under my hands as his groaning turned into a gasp & then a whimper & with his mouth open, red-faced with big swollen neck veins.  His dick beside mine felt like a hot metal pole as it began to pulse -- shooting his load a good foot or two through all the air gaps between our tummies his arched back was forming.  About 4-5 shots into his orgasm, Dan let out a half yell, half moan as he gasped in some more air.  This guy was so sexy during a sober orgasm that the site triggered my load to empty right there and as I pulled him tighter toward me in a hug & writhed around under him shooting my volley -- it just intensified his experience all the more.  After 15 seconds or so, we began to enter resolution phase where we relaxed into each other & experienced the last stragglers of orgasm.  Dan was breathing hard but more toward a relaxed, downhill timbre as he felt the rush of post coital relaxation hit him. I planted a dry kiss on his shadowy cheek and a smile crossed his face as he saw mine. 

Dan told me that he'd never been with another guy before and that there was something about the way I looked & moved that was a major turn on.  When he began to talk about worrying that he my be "turning gay", I let him know about the Kinsey research at the library & how it turns out that tough-guys & warriors have been doing what we were doing for a long, long time...thousands of years -- all the way back to ancient Greece.  I told him that I think the difference between what we experienced and what I saw a "gay" was that neither one of us was pretending we were with a woman or played the role of one.  No one played the "man-khunt".  Dan agreed that when he imagined a couple of homos getting it on, - it involved a guy in high-heels getting it up the butt.  I laughed & told him the vision that formed in my head was one of a guy going through his purse to find the "safe-sex" condoms hidden in a lip-stick container.  I reminded Dan that Kinsey's research had made it clear that those stereotypes were not what he discovered in his sexuality study as being the "norm".  But somehow, these images seems to be what society had in the "collective psyche" and since neither of us were interested in purses, high heels, butt-condoms or lipstick-lessons that we'd better keep our experiences totally discrete.  I asked him if he felt "degraded".  He thought for a few seconds & with a totally sober face he said that he felt "love".  I hugged him a little tighter & replied "Damn straight".

Because of our age difference (almost 3 years), Dan & I didn't get to spend time together nearly as much as we'd like.  I told him I was kewl with him dating because I thought the human heart was big enough to love more than one person at a time & I didn't want him to feel like I wanted to control him.  "Love is unconditional dude.  Besides, I know you like snatch too.".  I never heard Dan make a single "fag" joke after that night.  Neither did I.  We watched each other's back when we were out & I ended up a college freshman in the school where he was a Sr. 

Was Dan my only High School relationship with a guy?  Not hardly ... and this is what I figured out being the "crak-kokaine of pretty-bois" in my teens.  Lots of guys got stiffy's around me.  Lots of guys were scared as hell of being discovered with "said stiffy".  Because I was so gentle & affectionate with my friends ... my openness & warm mannerisms broke down the doors to a lot of these guys inner-workings.  I made myself vulnerable & never spoke a negative word about any of my friends.  Instead, I learned how to wound with compliments, to heap burning coals with kindness strategically placed.  To lend money & not demand it back.  To share my stuff & make myself available.  I found (15) other guys in High School who got to the place where they spilled their nutt with me.  Every one of them was considered "straight" by the "student consensus on sexuality" & every one of them is like a brother to me today, & I doubt that most have any knowledge about the others!  .  Ironically, the guys who were "out" at the school -- who were the self professed "experts" on "gaydom" were clueless about our intimate friendships.  Is there a secondary subculture within same-sex circles that does not identify with "gay"?  Yup.  The stuff you see in so-called "gay porn" had absolutely ZER0 relevance to our relationships.  Now I have no doubt that a section of the "gay" community mirrors gay porn.  Just like the straight community has it's red-light district where bars are referred to a meat-markets and all people want to do is find a one night stand; -- so is that a truth in the "gay" culture.  However, that was NEVER what me or my friends were about, - which is why I felt compelled to write this.  What we had was honorable, noble, loving, protective, beautiful, & yes: vulnerable.  

We were guys into guys but we were sure that we were not "gay" -- not as "gay" was seen by almost everyone.  Most of us would have been considered "bi" in the eyes of society; ... But this is simply because society has not been able to accept the simple Kinsey scale numbered 0-6 where most people do NOT fall on the (2) endpoints, but the (5) in between. Those who insist that orientation is "fixed" are telling you that they're 0's or 6's; And those who insist that orientation is a "choice" are telling you that they themselves are 1's, 2's, 3's, 4's, or 5's on the scale!  So much for the "purity" of religious fundamentalism!

Now here are some rhetorical questions for the thinkers out there:  Do you think that the 16 of us were the ONLY guys getting our rocks off with other guys?  Do you believe for a second that I was the "mastermind" behind corrupting 15 guys who might have otherwise "been straight"?  Do you think that any of the 15 guys I had been with may have found another guy or 2+ to be with ... -- some whom I knew nothing about?  And those? 

PS> I kept Kinsey's book on Male Sexuality in a secret place in the library so I could show things to my friends after they splooged with me.  We knew from that book and our experiences that the society around us was built of a million half-truths and not even the self professed homo's knew what they hell they were talking about most of the time.  Their messages on AIDS & Safe-Sex with their condom-campaigns  fell on deaf & disgusted ears...as if any of us would have butt-phuck'd the other or played the role of the bitch!  Over the last 20 years, I've watched their type (the ones this site calls the BFT) spread plague & death all over the globe.  Not one guy who was "boldly out" in my high school 20+ years ago is still alive ... Not (1). I wonder how many people they took with them in their quest for the perfect ass.  However, at my class reunion, I met up with 14 friends & we briefly toasted to mourn the loss of one who had been killed in Iraq during Operation Desert /EDITED/.  This website is indeed an idea whose time has come.  Send your friend here.  Put the link in print.  Run an editorial in your local paper.  There is an alternative to conventional wisdom on male sexuality and it begins with sites like this one!