The Hard Truth  is: that guys are often tempted to screw around with good-look'n, friendly guys; -- & the primary limiting factor is often: how available the females are.  However, it's true - some guys don't dig chicks at all, but of those who do, - I've discovered for a fact (FACT) that the better look'n the male target, the more the temptation.  Like it's been said: Nobody admits it & almost everyone is clueless that it goes on.  Every once in a while, some guy gets caught in the act & the fag pubs all yell "seeeee"... -- but they don't realize that they're seeing only the tip of the iceberg.  Because of the general nature of this hard-truth & the fact it's so often denied: Most people have an inaccurate picture of what goes on between good look'n guys.  In my experience: average look'n dudes do N0T have a clue that their good-look'n buds are often hooking up with each other (but in such a way that it's totally respectful & discrete)!  No arse phuckers - get it?!

When I was 12, my uncle Joel (who was 25 & still single), would often take me to the movies or bowling - whatever.  He treated me with more love & understanding than any other "grown up" I knew.    We'd wrestle & engage in lots of horse-play (often with my 2 brothers joining in), but I could tell that Joel enjoyed my company just a little bit more than my brothers.  If anything had ever happened to my parents, Joel would have adopted us (or at least - me) in a heartbeat.  He treated me like he did other adults when we talked & that made me feel important.  When I hit 13, uncle Joel told me I was special.  He said that I was exceptionally good look'n for a guy & this was going to become a major factor in my life.  He told me about guys who phuck'd guys & how I needed to be on the alert that someone didn't kidnap me - because of my looks.  He also let me know that some women were dangerous predators as well.  Joel had a way of saying serious stuff in light-hearted terms & managed to fire his point home without anyone freaking out.  He was a real mentor.  (I was raised Jewish & at the age of the bar mitzvah, a boy becomes a man - & accountable.  Uncle Joel took this seriously & honestly believed that God Himself had established the tradition -& therefore it had real substance to it's meaning.)

When I was 13, I also began to have daydreams about doing things with certain guys I knew - like tickling them.  I had friends I often wrestled with & I began to figure out ways to pin them really good.  We had a rope hammock on the porch & I'd actually figured a way to use the ropes in it's webbed design to capture a dude like in a big spider web.  I really enjoyed the experience & I could tell that a few of them did too - because of the repeat wrestling matches that happened on it (all except once when I tied up my best friend Craig's younger brother & tickled his helpless, restrained feet until he pee'd his pants - but that was another story).  Because I was so trusting of uncle Joel, I let it slip that I really liked wrestling & he asked what I enjoyed the most about it.  I told him.  He had this look of concern as he told me that what I felt was completely normal & that he knew exactly how I felt - because he'd felt the same way.  He also suggested that I take wrestling up as a serious sport in school because then I'd be sure to meet a lot of guys who I had 'fun' wrestling with.  Knowing that he'd felt the same things made me feel a lot better.  He asked if I ever wrestled with girls or wanted to.  I didn't - at all.  That same look of concern was all over his face as he explained to me that he understood, but that I should lay low about my deep feelings because some people could use that information to hurt me in ways I couldn't begin to imagine.  At about the same time, I began to make the 'fag' connection.  When I figured out that liking guys might make me a fag, I worried it out loud to uncle Joel - to whom I'd already spilled the beans about my feelings to anyhow.  What he told me changed my life & I thought for the longest time that only a few people on the planet knew it until I came to this website.  Joel explained the hard truth - stated in the 1st paragraph.  At first, I doubted that he could be so sure, but he told me to watch other dudes out of the corner of my eye & use reflective surfaces to watch indirectly.  He told me that because I was so good look'n, that I'd catch guys checking me out as long as they thought that I couldn't see them look'n at me.  "Sholy Huck'n Fit!", - he was right! 

We continued to be best of friends as I matured; -- & when I hit 14, he repeated the speech he'd given me at 13 - about sexual predators & how arse-phucking disgusted him.  I confided in him that I had some really strong feelings for a few guys I knew, - but the whole arse thing had never even entered my mind.  He warned me that anyone who tried to put 'it' there was not my friend, - & that Moses (The MOSES) absolutely forbid it in the Torah.  And, he took some time to explain sexual responses in guys & how it worked.  For the most part, he said that guys were controlled by their dicks once an encounter began -- so that if I could get the ball/s started - they'd 'roll' on their own & take the guy attached along with them.   That part of his 'lesson' really stuck in my mind.  After all, he'd been right on about other guys check'n me out (Although - I didn't tell him I was notic'n much).  Uncle Joel seemed to have lots of balance in his perspective & some massive insights.

At 14, 5'9" with dark blond hair & blue eyes - & a muscular stocky build ... I was turn'n some heads - & some of them were those of the guys I hung with.  I'd been wrestling with a few of them for over a year now & getting more wood every time.  My best friend, Craig & I wrestled so much that we occasionally emptied our mutual loads in our shorts - but neither of us openly admitted it.  We simply pretended that nothing was happening as we dry-humped each other - pretending to be wrestling.  I was also getting bolder with other dudes once I got them pinned (or tied/tangled up if the hammock was the location of the wrestling match).  I eventually convinced my parents to let me have one in my bedroom because it was "comfortable to watch TV from" & made a place for me to sleep if I had guests.  They agreed.  Uncle Joel helped me put it in.  He gave me some advice when we were done.  He said that no matter what, - I was always to respect my friends & never hurt them (& not to tickle them until they pee'd themselves).  Remembering Craig's brother, - I laughed until I almost peed myself.  Joel gave me a full hug & loud kiss on the top of my head as he left.  That was the last time I ever saw him.  He was killed in a car crash that night.  I swore to myself that I'd never forget his advice - & do my very best not to hurt the people I loved, -- because like he proved: You never know when fate will take them away forever...

2 weeks after uncle Joel's accident, - a new guy moved into town & began to attend my school.  His name was Joel - & he looked like my dark-headed twin (with longer hair).  He was in 3 of my classes - including PE.  I was using the mirrors to scope who was scoping me.  I had one set up in my locker that showed me the reflections off the large sink mirrors.  I noticed that the new guy, Joel - was checking me out (big-time) when we'd change.  Since the guy was totally studdified, I decided to make friends.  I was nervous - maybe because he was such a swaggering hunk, but I forced myself to comment on things like certain plays he'd make on the field & ask if he worked out (because I had a universal gym in my room at home).  The guy had a sexy voice & a maleness to his mannerisms - to die for.  He oozed "testosterone" from every pore.  He was uncut (knew this from the locker room) - which I soon decided wasn't gonna stop me from getting to know him (even though he wasn't Jewish & might think our religion was kinda strange).  We began to hang out together more & more as our friendship bonded. I introduced him to my parents & they instantly liked him.  People were constantly asking us if we were related.  We said "no', of course; -- but I wished so bad that we could somehow be.  I wanted an intimate, inseparable connection with this guy in the worst way.  Soon, I didn't have eyes for anyone else & thoughts of Joel consumed my mind.  He was the reason I got up every day. 

Over April vacation, Joel & I arranged to spend a few days at my place while my parents visited relatives a State away.  I had total butterflies when he was dropped off on Monday with all his stay-over stuff.  We were all over town that day & almost wore a couple of bus passes out.  When we got back, it was dark & we decided to watch a movie in my room & have some ice-cream Sundays (my mom had all the stuff from chocolate to whip-cream in the fridge). 

We put in the movie & were sitting sideways on the hammock - wearing just gym shorts.  Joel got to the last bite of his ice-cream & glancing over at me, flipped his spoon so that the gob of vanilla hit me in the face.  I was instantly in 'spider-web-spinning' mode with a massive smile on my face as I grabbed the can of whipped cream & squirted a gob into his face & eyes as I took advantage of his sweet-blindness & wrestled his arms until the ropes in the hammock had him snared.  He was roaring with laughter -- unable to see as I torqued his right leg into position & then bound it with the hammock ropes.  His left leg was easier & once all 4 limbs were secured, the hammock was much tighter.   He was struggling & fighting the ropes while laughing his head off with his eyes closed (because of the layer of whip cream on his face). 

Seeing this guy struggling & restrained had to be one of the most sex-loaded visuals I'd ever laid eyes on.  I pulled the hammock string near each foot over his toes pointing his toes up toward his upper body & exposing the underside of his feet helplessly.  He kept yelling & making mock threats & made comments like 'only a wuss uses a can of whip cream to blind his opponent with'.   I grabbed the whip cream again & painted a line from his naval to his neck.  Since we'd both showered & he was all nice & clean, I put a line on the sole of each foot.  The plastic tip of the whip-cream can raking the bottom of each foot made him yelp with blind laughter as I applied my method of torture.  Taking his left ankle in my hands, I slid my tongue along the bottom of his clean, creamy left foot.  The sensation cut his wind off as laughter exploded out of him - cutting short his insults.  His leg muscles strained & he tried to curl his toes in, -- but the hammock had him!  Slowly I ran my tongue over his sweet, bare foot as he roared with helplessness - almost crying.  I could feel his immobile toes under my tongue trying to wiggle free as deep belly laughter baptized his senses & overrode whole parts of his brain.  Just as he began to get accustomed to the feeling, I switched to his right foot & we repeated the process.  After the whip cream was off his toes, I hopped on the hammock - on top of him, but low & I began to lick the cream off his belly - making sure to wiggle my tongue in his naval.  He was nuts with hysterical laughter as his 8-pack stiffened & crawled around on his belly as my tongue (joined by my mouth, lips & jaws), milked more laughs from him as I slowly followed the trail of whip cream toward his face.  When I reached his Adam's apple, I stopped & positioned my body on top of his naval2naval - balls2balls.  The feeling was beyond words.  I felt like a masculinity sponge - set to absorb all of his awesome male essence as I had him tied down.  His laughter had calmed down & he was begging me not to tickle him any more.

As I gave a slow lick up his neck to his chin, his expression suddenly got more serious - as if something had his attention.  Another slow sensual lick along his Adam's apple to chin really had his attitude quieted some now.  As I went for 3 - his Adam's apple moved down & then up under my tongue as he swallowed  - slightly nervously.  I kissed his throat softly & he opened his mouth some & used his tongue to taste some of the cream as I felt an unmistakable hardness & then a throb from his crotch - beneath mine.  A very soft whimper came from his throat as I began to lick along it's side again.  When I got to his chin, I could see that his tongue had scraped a gob of cream from his lips, but he had not retracted back into his mouth.  I slowly went over his lips with my tongue - removing the whip cream as I went.  Once his lips were clean, I slid my tongue along into his as I cleaned the cream off his quivering talk-muscle (that wasn't doing any talking at the moment).  Another hard throb came from his crotch as his erection grew.  He moaned softly again.  I proceeded to clean the cream off his face with my lips, & tongue as I soaked up the fact his heart was pounding like a rock drummer in his chest.

I slowly kissed all the way back down to his naval until I was eye-level with his gym shorts.  His penis had grown to a large, long bulge that was clearly visible beneath the fabric.  I lightly grabbed the rim of his shorts & pulled them down over his engorged cock.  As I did, it gave a hard throb & Joel groaned in pleasure.  Taking the whip cream can, I gave a quick, thick coat to his drooling dick.  Then, with my heart beating faster than I could count along with, I lightly took his cock by the base & elevated it some as I slid my lips around it's girth.  As I slowly slithered my tongue around it - cleaning the cream from it's length, Joel began to moan & squirm as it stiffened & throbbed in my mouth.  As I took in the feel of his manhood in my mouth, I really became aware of just how incredible a guy's dick is made.  The gentlest, loving maneuvers on it made the entire dude's being react.  To have this kind of power over another guy demanded a mindset of compassion & responsibility.  It was truly a beautiful thing - this arousal ... this passion.    As the excited stiffening along the length of his warm, hard penis became more regular & the girth becoming larger, -  I watched the tight abominable muscles of Joel's belly suddenly become very defined as he groaned out a loud, extended "Ooooohhhhhhhhhh".  He arched his back & his butt muscles got massively firm; -- His dick stiffened very hard in my mouth & then began to throb intensely almost every second as hot Joel-shot filled my mouth in a series of groan pulling cock-pulsations & mingled with the taste of the whip cream.  Joel's vocalizations became uncontrolled & - virtual cries of pleasure as the feeling of his nutt being liberated from his balls engulfed him.  The sensation of making him writhe around in his restrained condition as he came in my mouth caused me to empty my load in my shorts - as I enjoyed the feeling of his helpless cock intently pumping in my lip's grasp w. his body strongly squirming under me.  I gently drove his cock mad as I stroked it with my hungry tongue & applied gentle suction to milk out every drop of seed my buddy had stored in his balls.  He came in torrents & his dick didn't stop shooting right away -- but went on & on, slowing down over a time span of a few minutes until it just quivered as my tongue slowly bathed it - occasionally twitching just to make Joel gasp in it's control.  (I had seen only one movie where a chick used her mouth to get a guy off.  It was one of the most erotic things I've ever done.)  The whip cream made the moment...

After he was spent, I slid back up over his body so that my arms wrapped around him.  Joel whispered, "Man ... I .. I .. I think I love you bro...".  As I untied his arms from the hammock, I replied: "Yeah ... well I know for a fact that I love you...Just wait'n for the time to let ya know without any question as to my seriousness."  We both had huge smiles on our faces.  As his hands were freed, he put the love squeeze on me.  He asked:

"Hey, Bro: What was it like ... with your mouth on my ... you know?"

"Well, considering that it was you ... it was pretty cool.  I mean ... I'm not into sucking up to just any old dick-sicle .  It's gotta be the dick of an awesome dude - like an 11 on a scale of 1 to 10 (Joel was instantly blushing at the compliment).  Oh, and it's gotta be clean....", I grinned.  "No soapy, - no sucky..."

"Being the case...", Joel started: "I'm gonna keep a baggie of detergent in my pocket for now on..."

I chuckled & hugged him tighter.  "Hot tub?", I asked.  Joel nodded & we ended up spending every night that week in the tub & then in my bed - dressed the same way in each ;-)

We soon discovered that if Joel had me "help' him with his homework -- that he'd usually get to stay over 1-2 nights per week.  So: anthropology or anatomy study it would be! 

Over time, I let Joel in on the secret my late uncle Joel had shared with me about guys.  We began to scope other guys who might be check'n us both out.  Between our Junior & Senior year, we positively ID'd 5 of them: Pete, Scott, Parker, Chad & Ryan.  We began to wear them down - one at a time with both Joel & me at my house -- usually on the weekend.  By the 3rd stayover, the guy's dick would end up so hard for so long that he'd virtually be cry'n to get off with Joel & I wrapped naked around him in the same bed.  We were some bonded friends! 

Just like talked about here: It was always a thing done with total respect -- even if it was mixed with some horse-play.  Nobody was interested in anyone's arse, either.  That seemed to be the key psychological issue in our minds vs. what we saw going on in the "gay" community (on or off campus).  All 7 of us were friendly with the females - but only 4 swung either way.  Pete was primarily interested in the females -- but a good look'n dude could get his juices flowing too.  It was NEVER a "gay" thing ... always a "GUY" thing.  Now we know it's a g0y thing... but others have already noted that fact ahead of me!

Any of us could have been in pictures (3 of us were eventually).  The irony was that our group was the secret "fantasy" among the gay group at school.  We'd overhear it: "If only....sigh..." - (Oh the irony)!  Repeat after me: "CHAD ALLEN"...

I don't know if I can explain the nature of our friendships in any way that will be easy to understand.  Maybe - it's a thing you have to know by having 'been there'.  Also, others who've written have hit around the basic feelings we were all having.  For a long time - Joel & I were exclusive.  Pete was a hard-luck case we both kind of got wrapped up in until we were wrapped up in him - & him in us.  Over time - we realized that our hearts were big enough for other guys too - so we ended up being like this "pack of guys" who watched out for each other & loved each other in depth that went all the way to our dicks.  Nobody ever used the "phuck" word when talking about what we did with each other.  It was often totally non-verbal.  We were connected first - at the hearts - & then our dicks came along - adding intensity to the friendships.  It was a strange set of friendships & nobody could have ever predicted that such a strange forum of friends would have ever been assembled.  It certainly couldn't have been planned.  It simply WAS...

As time passed, people moved away & apart.  Several of the "pack" got married.  I'm still with Joel 101%.  We have a life together & shared power of attorney.  We exchanged public vows several years ago in a Charismatic church that is not stuck on the gender thing for marriage.  Joel & I have each had deep religious experiences there that were all new to him (& took him quite by surprise as he experienced them) - but the same events (for me) answered many questions that Judaism always hinted at, - but could not answer because of the religion's rejection of Yeshua Ben Yoseph as Messiah.  Pity.  Today, we work with inner city kids, gangs & homeless youth.  It's devastating to see the number of kids who have been lied to: First that they're not acceptable because of who they love -- & secondly, that anal-sex is part of being a 'gay-male'.  Joel & I are loudly refuting those hateful messages.  We're so glad to have found this site & now we share it with young men who are questioning their feelings.  The entire anti-anal posturing has hit a major chord of agreement with lots of younger guys - who see the innate connection between emasculation & anal-sex.  Our observation has been that once the BPT has seduced a guy to surrendering his butt to another dude, -- that the conscience is quick to sear & the perversion accepted -- entrenched as "acceptable" alternative behavior.  The fact is: It's deadly.  I've hugged too many HIV+ guys.  Almost all got it via anal (except those doing IV drugs).  The distinction of this message needs to get into the public.  Please spread this website's address!