The "in memory" page posted on the site set my mind to working.  A good friend of mine died several years ago under circumstances that today are somewhat a mystery.  Since alcohol was involved, it's still not clear whether "Bo" died as part of a prank he was pulling, or as some have suggested: a suicide.  What I will tell you is that it left a gaping hole in me that still hurts when I consider it.  Finding this site was a hint that it was about time for me to tell my story. 

Bo was a tough guy.  He seemed fearless, but those who knew him knew that he was more afraid of seeming afraid.  He grew up in a tough family & wouldn't bok from a fight if one offered itself.  He was loud, boisterous, cocky, - often c/rude & arrogant.  And to me, the combination of those was just in the right amounts.  We were good friends & Bo liked a good sparring partner.  I was slightly older than Bo, so my acceptance seemed to boost his ego. 

Everyone who knew him knew he was a ladies man.  What nobody knew is that Bo had a tender spot he kept pushed down deep in his macho demeanor.  The guy hung out with a bunch of "average" people, but himself was way above average.  He was a thinker & even played chess -- kicking my butt a few times, -- & I'm pretty good.  That French temper of his loved to spar.  We beat on each other -- pretty hard, & all in fun. I outweighed him by a few pounds & was taller.  Even so, he was a massively good fighter for a "street thug" -- as I used to call him to egg him on.  But the thing he hated was being pinned & tickled.  He had a few good spots that made him nuts with laughter -- especially when he was pinned.  I don't think many people knew this -- even some of the other guys he wrestled with.  I found out because I like tickling hot guys and wrestling is an informal context to do that in.  It also keeps things light-hearted.  Bo was a total stud & in his early 20's, he was a solid mass of muscle.  The guy had good genetics - to say the least.  He also had a dick that betrayed his cool, controlled exterior.  A strong breeze sometimes gave the guy wood.  It's not something most people could ever know -- until you're both wrestling in your shorts & iron rubs on iron.  That's what happened to us.

Bo was over visiting & mild insults turned into full blown wrestling.  It was warm and when things got heated up, we both ended up stripping down to our swim shorts (that we had under our jeans).  I ended up pinning him in a scissors really good & proceeded to rip the socks off his feet & scratch the soles which drove him nuts laughing while pissing him off at the same time.  We were knocking furniture over & Bo was name calling, taunting while he had the most awesome set of grins & expressions he used to try to intimidate with.  We grappled again & I got him pinned  -- this time with my legs wrapped around his & my arms around his torso -- holding his arms by the wrists behind his back so that we were chest to chest, crotch to crotch.  I managed to push him over a few inches up against the wall & wedged his body so I could let go of his left wrist & he couldn't uncross his arms (behind his back) & get free.  This gave me the use of my right hand which I began to use to taunt him by wiggling my fingers into all the areas that made his laugh.  He was out of his head with rage, laughter & breathlessness.  Venom & laughter -- that's how I'd describe his demeanor at that moment.  Well, I went slow and gave him little time slots to catch his breath in.  Having him pinned, I decided to let my fingers go on some exploratory missions.  I explored his neck & head -- which really weren't that ticklish.  This gave him a breather - while he flinched, grinned & name called.  Not even a minute into my exploration, Bo said he needed to take a piss.  I made some disparaging comment and a few seconds later he insisted.  Moments later I felt a hard throb where our crotches were locked.  Instantly, he had this "I am so busted" expression on his face.  I locked my gaze with his with a feigned look of surprise on my face & then I grinned saying something like, "Doesn't seem like piss is what wants to come out of that right now." -- and I ground my crotch into his. 

Instantly Bo said, "You phuck'n homo!", -- but he said it with a smile -- as a taunt.  At the moment, I didn't have wood & he did; -- & I said something to the effect of making that observation.  No taunt like the truth!  I could tell he was out of his macho-comfort zone & he struggled with everything he had to break free.  I held him & ground my crotch into his again which evoked another strong throb out of Bo's swelling dick that moved along his body like a shock wave causing his teeth to clench. 

"Looks like your dick wants to make friends." - I observed in a taunt.  Bo struggled again -- hard.  I held him.  I reached my right arm back around him & resecured his left from moving.  "Bobo's gonna give it up for his buddy." - I taunted again.  He struggled, but with both my arms now wrapped around him, he didn't have a chance.  "I tell ya what...", I challenged him. "First one to cumm is the phuck'n loser ... loser.".  Bo cut into some insults, but the next crotch grind shut him up as the pulse that his dick emitted arched his back & tightened his whole face.  By this time, my dick was hard & I could use it to feel his through the thin material.  I just lifted my crotch some & slow slid my hard-on along his which lit up his nervous system like a traffic light with stop, caution & go lights on, -- all at once!  Another hard pulse arched his back again & a groan -- followed by a half insult "You phucker", pushed past the tenseness in his voice.  But, his struggling seemed a bit more half-hearted.  A few more slow strokes of my cock along his reduced him to no struggles & just frantic whispers where he repeated phrases like, "You mutha phuck'r...." & "I'm gonna make you pay".  Meanwhile, his dick was hard-throbbing with less time between stiffenings as I slid mine back & forth along his length.  Then he got that expression on his face where something had 100% of his attention & his body stiffened he pulled in a big gasp of air, & as his back arched I cuddled as close into his space as I could, --  & milked his hopping cock with mine as he lost his wad with a low pitched man-yell.  Me too.

After his dick stopped pumping & he settled back into reality, I said something like, "You horny, oversexed stud-muffin..." and let the comment hang in the air. 

He had this look of confused concern on his face & said, "Hey, you know I'm no fag.".

"Didn't think you were -- not for a second.  Nobody was made a bitch.", I reasoned while grinning. 

"My dick just has a mind of it's own.", he went on trying to justify his reflexes.  "Hey, you're not gonna tell anyone, are you?"

"What, tell someone that I milked the nutt out of you with my hard-on seconds before I popped too?  Do I strike you as being that stupid? Relax.  I've got your back.". 

"Promise?", he asked.

"Till death do us part.", I grinned.  He smiled weakly.  I had no idea at the time how real that comment would impact me.

I gave Bo a pair of briefs to wear.  He took a quick shower & changed & then I did the same.  I mixed a couple of screwdrivers & put a movie in the VCR -- Terminator or something.  We were both sitting on my sofa watching it in our underwear & Bo pulled his feet up & leaned into his cushion.  I reached over & put my hand on his foot & begin to pressure-massage it.  It caught him off guard at first, but about 15 seconds into it & he stretched out with both lower legs resting on my lap.  I'm making this point because I've seen it posted here a few times.  Massage is a way to really tell someone you accept them.  It's a form of intimacy that speaks way louder than words.  I also want to point out that I wasn't using massage to hit on him -- as we'd both already emptied our balls.  My massage was to let him know that he was important to me.  It's reassuring to know that you're loved.  It's a sad statement that most guys are too afraid of being labeled a "fag" to ever open up to masculine tenderness. 

Our friendship entered a new level that day.  In public, Bo was the same "Bo".   However, when we'd be alone -- he'd open up & cuddle some as I'd get medieval on (massage) him.  Sometimes, I had to wrestle the feelings out of him into the open.  One thing is for sure... he found out that it's OK to bond with some people more intimately than society dictates is "ok".   To this day, I think I'm the only guy who Bo was ever with where sex crept into the friendship.  As he observed: -- It was so NOT-GAY.  And I agree.  Neither of us would have ever dreamed of going to the "gay bar" in town.  It was just too, eh ... gAy.  It seemed like -- that to mingle with "that" crowd would be to become part of that crowd ... and that crowd had a reputation for effeminacy & anal sex.   I've never been into either & neither was Bo.  Now, this perspective has drawn criticism, -- usually from those who "mingle", but my feeling is that once you've been in the sewer, it doesn't smell so bad to you.  But, you smell like IT.  That's the problem with the entire "gay" culture.  It's not that I hate all of it.  It's just that I can't stomach the smell of the parts I do hate and those detestable attitudes & social acceptances linger on those who ease themselves into the scene.  What I've found, is that there are a lot of guys who feel exactly the same way.  It's not "homophobic".  It's an avoidance of social situations that I find contrary to my tastes & values; ... And by avoiding them, I avoid the stigma of the reputation that those circles project. 

Bo left us forever, several years ago.  I was just starting to really get to know him; & his death hit me hard -- (as I had warned him to ease up on dare-deviling when drinking).  My foresight seems to have been 100% accurate.  I've never hated being right so much as on that day.  There were so many things I wanted to share with Bo, to tell him.  Now he's lost.  The depth of the tragedy is too much...

Love one another, & make sure those who you love really know that's it's not superficial; & that you'd be crushed if they were suddenly gone from your life.. 

- for Bo