What do these (2) men have in common?
(Mouse over each image to find out)

"Prostitutes shall not inherit the kingdom of God..." - Bible

Well, DUH!  But, it's been my observation & unfortunate experience that lying is a prerequisite to being a Fundamentalist!  "Lying for the Lawd..." - that should be the epitaph of every so-called ex-gay ministry.

I had never done the butt-nasty with anyone (& never plan to).  However, I was deeply in love with a friend of mine -- a friend who had become quite affectionate in return (G0YDAR) & had originally asked a pastor about certain 'religious' aspects about our 'friendship'.  When the pastor confronted me, that's when I admitted having 'feelings'. 

He put me in touch with a 'counselor' whom I felt had a 'gay agenda' of his own.  I said, "no thanks" & found myself "outed".  These people are as Ignorant as they are Evil.

What I wanted to do in my story is talk about my life & what I've discovered over time: The Devil wears several faces.

Growing up, I was an above average looking guy & I did work out.   Part of the reason I worked out was so that I wouldn't look like a puss-arse.  The other reason was that I liked the attention it brought me -- from both guys & girls (but the guys part was the frosting on my cake).  I knew how to use G0YDAR at age 14 & I was using it a lot.  Many of my guy friends would think nothing of undressing & cuddling up with me for a massage.  This is due to the fact I was friendly, physically demonstrative - yet openly hostile to "butt-phucking fags".  Like others here have noted: As long as a guy feels respected, he'll lower his guard.  And, as others have noted: Lots of guys are feeling the same things - so they WANT to drop their inhibitions.  As long as the contact is respectful - its usually welcome. 

The two enemies of this close intimacy are illustrated at the top of this page: 1) gay media & 2) religious fundamentalism: Both preach a very similar message with some distinct differences in the formula.  The former teaches that "gays buttphuck & that's ok", & the latter teach that "being gay is wrong (& gays buttphuck)".   What I knew is that I loved other guys, and wanted nothing to do with buttphucking - as the very concept disgusted me.  So, I was a guy who loved my friends deeply - & wanted nothing to do with degrading acts like anal. 

As a result, I spent more time with my hands on the bods of hott guys than their 'churchy'-girlfriends did!  Yeah - most of my friends were 'church-guys'.  Because I took the 'church-program' seriously, the adults discussed me as a "role model" on more occasions than I can count.  I'd be the one that would get a call when a couple of parents needed a "responsible youth leader" to hang out with their teen-guy kid/s.  And you know what: We stayed out of "trouble".  I didn't smoke, drink or do drugs.  We didn't blow up mailboxes & we didn't steal from the mall.  In all those ways that mattered, - you're darn right: I was a good influence. 

But let me tell you - that often, this 'good influence' would end up with his arm around the other guy while watching TV - or cuddled up under the same blanket with each other.  As 'their' kids matured into the rebellion of teen years -- it was often my window they tapped on at 2AM for a place to sleep & when I left home - it was often my door they showed up at.  To this day - that fact is phuck'n ironic, yes?  They knew I didn't do lots of the stuff they were doing in their 'rebellion' - but they also knew that the arms that went around them & gently massaged them comatose were arms that accepted & cared for them too.  So, while their own fathers were fundamentalist tyrants in step with the spirit of Archie Bunker, -- it was the neighbor guy who was hugging their kids & encouraging them to rethink their actions & make quality decisions from that point out.  You see - I didn't want to see these guys hurt either -- because I lov'd 'em.  A number of these guys eventually got so close physically that they'd drop in over night & crawl into my bed & cuddle until they pumped out a wad between our heaving abs.  Most of these guys had reputations w. women & several were involved with the predictable teen-sex issues that often arise in churches.  No one would have thought for a second that they'd occasionally visit with me & end up splooging.  In the minds of these guys, it was never a 'gay' thing.  What they found was that they had emotionally bonded to me, - & them being guys -- their dicks often came along for the ride. 

My friend Fred got a hard-on every time he'd crawl into bed beside me.  He had a good sized dick & couldn't hide the fact; -- So one day I asked him if it was just a case of "nerves'.  He said it "must be" & happened with butterflies in his stomach when he'd get in bed with me; -- & since he wasn't a "fag or noth'n", he couldn't explain it.  I told him that it was a sign of extremely deep compassion & physical appreciation around guys who meant a lot to each other - & went right to the core of their being - which is why it couldn't simply be turned off.  I explained that the only way to avoid blue-balls was to let it run its course.  He asked me how, - & so I told him to remove his shorts (because keeping them on would make things worse).  I told him I'd kick mine off too - so that we'd be equal.  I told him he didn't need to feel the least bit intimidated - & to snuggle up against me.  He did as told & we docked pecs2pecs, balls to balls.  Fred's heartbeat was on the roof & his breathing was fast & slightly nervous; -- & I reassured him that it was just nerves from a little bit of physical intimidation he felt around me - & that in a little while all the tension would be pumped out of him by his reflexes (just to enjoy the ride - because it was a guy thing shared by best friends). 

Well, the feeling of naked frottage pushed Fred to the limit in just a few minutes as he stiffened & moaned in my caressing hug.  Soon, his dick was pumping hard as he grit his teeth & clutched into me for all his worth.  Feeling the pulsating flow of his warm jizz between us pushed me over the top & I joined in his orgasm.  After he was done dumping his nutt, I asked if he felt more relaxed.  He did <duh>.   I reassured him that it was a guy thing & totally OK between guys who felt a little awe'd with each other & were great friends too.  After that experience, I helped Fred to "prevent blueballs" on too many occasions to recount.  The guy was a great friend & was able to make the distinction in his mind between what he felt, vs. being a 'fag'.  Fred eventually told me that being with me beat 'JO' by himself by a factor of 100:1 - & he was soooo glad he had another bud he loved & respected enough to help him out in that department.  Today he's married with 3 kids.  We're still great friends...but out of ALL of his friends -- who do you suppose Fred can really talk to when he's in crisis with his wife or her side of the family?   

Variations of that theme have played out over a dozen other ways.  Most of these guys ended up with women -- & wouldn't admit in 100 years that they have a guy-friend they love so much that they've splooged with.  See, that sounds too much like a 'gay' thing.  Today, we know it's a g0y experience.  They're rampant...

But to think: Traditional "Religion" says that the same-sex nature of these gentle, loving M/M friendships makes them an "abomination" - subject to capital punishment! INSANE! Guys bonded closely, nobody got an STD (no anal) & nobody got pregnant.  It was about love, respect & extremely intimate friendships.  However, mindless religion is full of INSANE & PREJUDICED BIGOTS -- especially when they put aside all of their fundamental guiding principles in order to justify a PREJUDICE.  Arse-sex is the ABOMINATION - literally UNCLEAN (This seems more than a little bit obvious).  However, indiscriminate religion cannot draw that distinction. 

What arse-phuckers & religion have done today is promote an atmosphere where people are terrified to display affection for each other - hence they be labeled a "queer", etc.  One of the signs the Apostle used to describe a society near it's end was a: "lack of natural affection".  The religious reicht claims that this means an increase in 'homoe-sex-shual" activity.  I think it means an increase in butt-phucking (M/M/F).  I think it means parents who throw their kids out of the home (in the name of Gawdliness) & onto the street because they discover the kid has same-sex affections (it's been estimated that over half of the kids who are on the street are there because of this sole factor).  I think it means a society afraid to be physically tender because of a fear of being labeled with some social-stigma for daring to be gentle & tenderly demonstrative.  I think it means a society that is on the eternal phuck-hunt without a concern for the people whose humanity is overlooked during & after the phuck-hunt (M/M/F).

Of the (2) men pictured on the top of this web page, I have more hope for the porn-star than I do the religious-liar.  The religious liar claims to "be-enlightened", & therefore - his claim of competence damns him (a legal principal) in light of the false gospel he preaches.  Sadly for the porn star, he's probably been lied to by the religious bigot -- told that God hates who he is as he's clobbered by a few out of context & poorly mistranslated scriptures that in their err -- deny the entire message of the gospel! 

To the porn star (& those like him), I have but one appeal: God-Yeshua loves you & wants you to treat everyone with the love He has to give you. 
To the Ex-gay hypocrite (& all like him) - Paul the Apostle has already declared your fate: Eternally Condemned  (See the Epistle to the Galatians - Bible)

I survived the Religious Reicht's hate campaign.
I was not deceived by an "anything goes" Left.
I am one of the G0YS!  Join us!