We're nowhere ... and everywhere.  
What so many have already made known here - I too have been discovering as I matured.  I wanted to write because my road of discovery has been slower than some & perhaps covered with more obstacles.  I also wanted to point out some pitfalls & mind-tricks that many of us run up against.

Like so many here, I grew up in a conservative home where there was a strong religious influence against being a "homo-sex-shual".  My school was the same - & I think the social experience dealing with gay stereotypes is perhaps a universal one.  At the same time, the forces I perceived as "pro-gay" are those I wanted little to do with at all.  I took PE like everyone else, but was not interested in many "organized" sports.  I wasn't a home-body either.  When puberty hit, I had the sense to get involved with working out.  This helped build the larger, stronger skeletal frame I have till this day.  It also helped me gain respect among the guys.  I was born with a genetic propensity for crowded teeth & although I never looked like a "rake" or anything, my parents never could afford the proper dental care so by the time I was 17, I had had 5 extractions to make way for my wisdoms.  Hence I learned to "smile" with my mouth closed & project my feelings through the rest of my body language.  In my 20's, I discovered "invisiline" & 2 years later, you'd never know I ever had an issue.  When you're younger, it's not as big a deal.  Here in the west though -- it seems to become one with many people as we age. 

By the time I was 13, I knew that I was attracted to guys.  The turmoil this caused because of the religious aspect of my upbringing was beyond description.  Let me be clear: NO SOLUTIONS are available through religious groups - only "wishful thinking".  I realized that fact while a teen, & time - has proven me correct.  Everything to do with the ex-gay movement is built on self-loathing & a lie that suggests "change" is possible.  What I've observed is people who learn to hate themselves, deny their basic nature & live a lie called "ex" that essentially is a mind job to pull the wool over their own eyes & others who are "uncomfortable" being around "gays".  Some very sincere people came to our church "trolling" for those in the closet.  Having watched the event unfold for over 10 years now -- I'm glad I didn't tell them a thing -- because the (2) people who did as teens, are today, phuck'd up.  James Dobson & his imps are gonna burn ... rest assured.  The self-righteous were NEVER friends of Yeshua.

When I was in 7th grade, a new kid (Sean Armer) moved into my town & begin to attend my school.  Since I was just starting to work out (& he had been for over a year), we ended up making conversation & becoming friends.  This guy was good look'n in all the right ways.  The Jr. high females (who usually mature faster than guys) were constantly eyebrow-batting him.  He played on it, of course & he played soccer too.  It was all play, though.  Over the summer before my 8th grade year, Sean & I began to camp out on the weekends & he introduced me to the fine art of the "jack off".  He said that I was so mature for my age that he was astonished that I didn't know about it.  The first lesson was with his hand on my cock - & would you guess -- I lasted about 60 seconds before being taken by the crack-cocaine called "orgasm".  Watching me, - pushed him into his!  Then he downplayed it! To this day I'm so glad he had the sense to mention that it wasn't "gay" because "everyone knew" that "gays did it up the ass".  He even had magazines that showed "straight guys" jacking - which meant it was a "guy thing".  Since neither of us had any inclination to go near anyone's arse -- it made sense & we both decided to keep our thing, - our secret.  We eventually decided to form a "club" for guys who could be "trusted" with this carnal knowledge.  In the "oath" guys took to join -- we had the phrase, "And if I ever tell any of the secrets of the club or dis any club member, I will be expelled & the whole club will inform the world that I'm a faggot ass, pussy."  We called the group, the "sports club" because to join, the guy had to be into at least one sport - even just working out.  At the time we formed the club, we had no idea how it would span out over the next few years.  What was known -- & virtually unspoken, - is that once a guy was "in", he had passed the "trust test" & "taken the oath". 

Over time, it became obvious that there were no "butt-ugly" guys in the "club".  Every one of the dudes shared a bond (& a healthy fear of badmouthing other members) that helped out in lots of situations.  We also decided that weekly dues of $1 per member were required to participate in club activity -- which was usually as simple as going to the beach.  By the time I was a sophomore, there were about 10 guys in the group.  We were all "str8", (of course).   Some of the guys were dating females & all the regular "guy talk" was routinely heard.  However, it was also an unspoken understanding that when guys in the club would do campouts or overnight stuff -- that it was 2 guys to a tent (or 3-in-one tent- if the club had an odd number).  Once in the sack with another dude, it was common to shoot the breeze with smaltalk, & while making gestures & comments to gradually increase the physical contact as time passed.  Gradually, each guy would acknowledge (whispering) the strong traits of the other (big biceps, tight abs, let me see your..., let me touch..., etc).  Some dudes were more straightforward than others.  However, the big event of the evening was when one dude would finally ask (challenge) the other to "slow-wrestle" - often while slowly removing any remaining clothes off his tent buddy. 

Slow-wrestling was a "quiet cockfight".  It was done in the nude, face to face - usually with lube from the belly to balls, & the goal was to make the other guy shoot his load first.  It was usually done laying down -- (but some guys do it while standing or on their knees).  There were many variations of the 'contest' -- all the way to "completely stealth" mode where no body motion was allowed once the two guys were fontally nude-locked with their dicks docked together (only the natural throbs & spasms from the penis could be used to get the other guy off as each dude could feel the other's cock beside his). 

What strikes me as fascinating is that the naked honesty that developed really bonded us much tighter than most "friends".  Once you share the tender intimacy & the extreme privacy of slowing pushing the dude in your hug to the point where he's the most vulnerable as a man gets, -- & him you; -- The result of the union is an increased empathy for each other, & other-guys in general.  What often happens is that guys discover that it's ok to be nurturing toward each other - even if it's a "discrete" nurturing (that becomes tenderest 1-on-1).  Many men don't experience these feelings until they're fathers with sons of their own that they discover it's OK to cuddle & hug without giving up their masculine personna.  One example that comes to mind was a linebacker named Joey who took a hard hit to the groin in a game.  His #1 "club-buddy" was a guy named Ron - who ended up being the person Joey had "look him over down-there" to find out how bad things appeared.  Joey was out for 2 weeks recovering & it was Ron who was helping him - in very private quarters.  Today, they're still "roommates".

Another area our "club" reduced anxiety in was - sexual!  News flash: Guys need to get off.  The longer a guy goes without pumping out a wad, the more sex consumes his thinking.  Most guys don't admit to this because the resulting knowledge is a little too exposing.  There are exceptions, duh.  However, the rule is: Full balls = stunted thinking.  (I have a suggestion for the prudes trying to control male sex drive: You may as well go Phuck Yourselves - because you're controlling nothing. Pastor Prickprowler's wife need not mettle. We know all the right things to "say" to the likes of you to scratch your itching ears).  Anyway, once our club was in place, it was almost a given that getting off would be a weekend event & the event is much more enjoyable when shared.  The fact each was helping a buddy get to that place of teeth-clenching bliss felt pretty good in the knowledge of it.  During those teen years, we also got to experience each other maturing physically as we grew taller & filled out.  There was no shortage of compliments & encouragements as we motivated each other to excel.  As I got to know Sean, he spent more time in the nude around me (& me him) while we were alone.  Usually, we'd be under a sheet or something & always ready to throw on shorts if any visitors showed up at the locked door of my room.  Often, when he wanted to "dick-wrastle", he flash me his semi - with this look on his face that said, "Come on ... you know you wanna be luv'n this...".  He couldn't resist the temptation if I was doing the flashing.  He might be in a tux, but if I dropped my towel & grinned, he'd be naked in mere seconds.  We constantly slow-loved the cock-sauce out of each other; -- & when Sean finally did shoot, the intense feeling of cumming swallowed his whole amourous bod making his spasming physique succumb to each shot of white-hott creme that was liberated from his convulsing man-cannon.  Some guys are sexier than others in various ways.  Sean's sex appeal peaked when he orgasmed because the feeling overwhelmed him - & being with him - making it happen to him - was a blood-pumping experience that words simply cannot fully describe.  We always had each other's back covered when we were out together.  It was so un-stereotype...people were totally clueless as to the inner forum of the "sports club".

OK ... I have to shoot out an observation here:  Once a guy "comes out" as "gay", he's really just sent a message that says, "I screw guys".  Obviously, this isn't the intention of everyone.  However, human nature has some undertones that need to be considered.  Since guys are virtually always thinking about sex, - a guy who wears the "gay" label is basically saying that he's a butt-slut.  "Butt" - because most people thing "gay-sex = anal-sex"; -- & "Slut" because guys who advertise guy-sex know (& so does everyone else) that male sexual appatite knows not the concept of being "full".  In other words: A guy who advertises as "gay" is gonna be on the "gay" menu & guys simply looking to screw guys tend to screw a lot of guys because guys are about sex.  Mix in anal & a few STD's & you've got a recipe for social disaster. 
On the other hand: Guys who understand & insist on discretion (g0ys) & who are n0t advertising themselves as a platter on the "gAy buffet", - have a tendency to treat each relationship with a guy as special, honorable & bonding.  Friendship with a g0y does not imply sex will be a part of it at all.  G0Ys usually get to know their friends quite well before physical intimacy even becomes a possibility - & even when it's a possibility it doesn't mean it's gonna happen.  Most g0ys I know are extremely selective when it comes to bonding with another guy.  Because trust & discretion are extremely important ... g0ys usually won't get physical with a guy who they feel will kiss & tell.  These guys simply don't want the stigma of the 'gay" label.  Closets may be for clothes ... but it's also where we hang the uniforms of honor we present ourselves to the world with.  I agree fully with the position that the word "gAy" has been destroyed by anal-sex innuendo.  I know gay-guys who don't fit that stereotype -- but the fact is: They're borderline-g0y & just don't know about it yet.

Having said that, I wanted to continue undoing the stereotypes that permeate the public psyche in general.  In high school, the atmosphere was very "anti-gay".  Our sports-club was openly antagonistic to "gay" ... but we knew then that "gay" was related to arse-sex; - & what the guys had in our club was extremely discrete, respectful & masculine (no anal).  We all knew that you could be luv'n with your bro without anyone becoming a "bitch".  No sissies.  No pansies.  No fems.  

I've posted this account in various degrees on other systems & inevitably, someone always insists that we were "homosexual", nonetheless.  Well, from my religious upbringing, I offer this analysis.  The Scripture says that God has made all men(m/f) of (1) flesh.  From that perspective ... it's ALL HOMOsex (& I think somone else here made a similar point).  What set our club apart (& this group from what I can tell), - is that we were all about respect & we didn't turn our very-personal relationships into a "festival" to be flaunted, modified & ultimately misrepresented by outsiders.  It's no fun to be grossly misunderstood (pun) so we never let the occasion arise where we could have been.  We were an exclusive group that aimed to be better than the vulgarity of society. 

Most of the guys in the club ended up getting married.  I know of none who have spilled the proverbial beans to their spouses.  Why?  Well ... I think the term "homosexual" sounds just a little too "gay".  Besides, in light of Greek history ... men have been enjoying each other's company for a very long time - just like we did in the club.  However, -- it becomes very obvious very quickly that what we shared in our club relationships was certainly NOT what modern "gay" culture is highlighted as encompassing.

Thank you for this website & for this word: G0Y!