Ground ZER0 in the "UNgay" Paradigm Shift!

 The 'LINE':
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It's not only cut guys who need to be particularly mindful of their buds -- but anyone who wants that level of intimacy.  "Gay literature seems preoccupied on trying to make the sewer into an erotic place for a date. As far as I'm concerned: Sewer-rats are for target practice.  As a g0y, -I'm such a clean-freak that I don't even want bloodhounds to know I'm coming.  Yeah - I'd probably do AquaMan without much reservation.".  But it's that intense connection that I want in the after-math. That feeling of loyalty wrapped in empathy that says, "Yeah, Bro - I've got your back - because you matter to me."...THAT feeling is so important to have --especially after your bud has just surrendered his willing wad to your skilled lips & tongue.  It all starts with a mindset that allows others to get close & one can't underestimate the value of basic, unrelenting personal hygiene!  





"Cursed is he who removes his neighbor's boundary marker!" - Moses
"The
Law is Spiritual..." - Saul/Paul

While the quotation from Moses above is most likely dealing with issues of property; -- the bigger issue of BOUNDARIES is covered by the quote as well.  Paul - writer of much of the New testament - was probably drawing on that principle when he penned: "All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall. So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves." - Rom 14

Paul's message was that it is wrong to do things that cause your 'brother' to transgress his own conscience.  In simple terms: Don't move your neighbor's BOUNDARY Marker.  Because Paul's teaching was about the new-found liberty in Christ's covenant -- the message was that a person's own boundary marker may be moved to encompass more of what life has to offer.  What was once restricted by ritual - is now open pasture!  Notice that each person is at liberty to move HIS OWN boundary marker based in good faith as to what is legitimate "open territory".  However -- that teaching is balanced with the primary tenant of Christ's theology: "Love works no ill toward his neighbor...".  Paul makes clear that it is possible to condemn yourself by what you allow if what you do violates the tenant of neighborly love.  Paul's example was food.  Brilliant! You see: you don't get any more intimate with something than to eat it & make it part of yourself!

So: What's to learn from a 2000 year old lawyer & a 4000 year-old Egyptian-raised-rebel?  Well, as covered in great detail within the G0D-HATES area; -- the section of text Moses penned in Leviticus forbidding men laying with men has a powerful legal delimiting clause: "AS HE LIES WITH A WOMAN".  Since Moses's law also gives instruction regarding HOW men are to lay with a woman (throw the Karma-Sutra away) -- the prohibition becomes very specific: Anal-Sex is absolutely forbidden[.] 


G0YS hold to the theological model that argues -using the Scriptures - that Torah specifically forbade anal-sex and that lax, indiscriminate men twisted that prohibition beyond the letter & lawlessly expanded it (with sloppy exegesis & outright mistranslation); -- to allege that same-gender affections were the forbidden.  G0YS point out numerous Scriptural citations to support our [gender-blind/anti-anal] posturing; -- but more importantly, g0ys point to the overall themes & purpose of the law in the Old Testament + the Law of Christ in the New.  G0Y'S [gender-blind/anti-anal] position on the issue of sexual affections should make any "Christian" or "Jew" swallow hard contemplating seriously the citation from Deuteronomy 19 above! Oh, and the most scholarly Jewish Rabbis agree with the g0ys (How ironic is that)!


Some claim that the specific prohibition is based on mere religious dogma. However, if you check out the modern statistics that track the spread of sexually transmitted diseases -- you'll find that Anal-sex is +5000% more effective at spreading STD's that all other forms of sexual contact!  And, because it is so much more dangerous -- societies that tolerate the practice are soon consumed with sexually transmitted plagues.  (God doesn't send the plague as some religious nuts claim. But the increased risk of plague/s is the reason the act was forbidden in the 1st place!). 

Moses wasn't the only law-giver to forbid men playing the "female role".  The ancient Greeks -- the culture that left behind a legacy of man2man same-sex affection in their historical, visual artistic record; -- They also outlawed anal-sex!  Mull that over in your mind & consider how different their culture was from modern "gay male" moirés (which almost exclusively pander to anal-fetishes)!  The same gay-male community that loves to point at the Greeks -- would be incarcerated for moral decadence in that same Greek culture! An ironic fact, yes?

Ultimately, the grand folly is an attempt to violate natural law by ignoring a boundary marker and compounding the foolishness by coercing others into disregarding the 5000+ year old boundary marker as well!  Of course - the majority of men know by instinct that anal-sex is unnatural & unsanitary.  It takes a repeated message that says "Disregard your natural aversion." to wear away at the consciences of men weak-willed enough to follow the herd.  From the standpoint of psychology: Only about 1%-5% of any population consists of leadership personalities.  In a culture that sends the message: "GaySex=AnalSex", - only 1%-5% of exclusively-same-gender-attracted men will have the personal fortitude to unconditionally reject it.

The rejection of that act & others that attempt to make a man a proxy for a woman is the predominant trait - THE LINE - that separates g0ys from gAy-male culture in general.  Men who discover their inclinations are those described here - need not "embrace diversity" - if that "diverse behavior" violates their consciences. And because g0ys' posturing is one that divides based on actions that involve torts (whether intentional or not), we are vocal about our posturing.  This causes many men who are in the "gAy male" community to accuse g0ys of being "judgmental".  If by "judgmental" they mean that g0ys dare to call certain behaviors "reckless disregard" & therefore criminal in act & immoral in intent - then I'd have to say that we're guilty as charged: Guilty of using our good sense of reason.

G0YS encompass men on all part's on Kinsey's scale.  It isn't sexual orientation that determines if a guy is a g0y - but if he holds to the core values of the philosophy. Even straight (Kinsey-0) men who understand & accept the philosophy are technically - g0y in a philosophical sense; -While straight guys who promote anal-sex practice (whether M/F or M/M) are not.  G0YS believe that there is no physiological difference between anal-sex with a man or a woman. Both acts are held in equal contempt.

 

THE LINE:

The line called "g0y" is embraced by nearly all men when they hear the philosophy articulated; -At least those who haven't injured their own consciences by delving into anal-fetishes (whether M/F or M/M).  The LINE represents the moral high ground where men need not be concerned about being humiliated by other men who may find them attractive & need not be shamed because they fall into the +60% of men who experiences various degrees of same gender attraction.  The line called "g0y" cuts thru the lies & separates the light of friendship & respect from the darkness of meaningless hookups & disposable people.  "G0Y" loves masculinity & therefore would never even consider trying to reshape "Danny into a Donna".  G0Y treats the other as if he was priceless.

G0Y REALITIES:  

As a Kinsey-6 G0Y, my own life has been characterized by a respect of my male peers & esteeming masculine principles. Raised in a conservative, fundamentalist-connected home - I have seen the best & worst parts of the religious right & had to make my own decisions based on facts & reason as I discovered that there was no way I could ever truly "fit in" with fundamentalists because of my sexuality.  However, the passing of time revealed to me in no uncertain terms that I wasn't the only guy with deeply concealed affections.  However, my mannerisms were always controlled & I adopted early the philosophy that I should become the same kind of person that I desired.  I became a gym-rat in my early teens & as a result - developed friendships with a number of male athletes & a few other gym rats.  On the surface - my friendships looked a lot like most others.  In private is where the variances occurred.  How many other guys were doing the same things - I have no way of knowing, - but I suspect it is much more widespread than generally realized.
Before I go too far giving generalities, let me explain some of the specifics.  Being a Kinsey-6 male teen is like any other I suppose -- except you have to figure out what to do with a peaking sex-drive resulting from high hormone levels.  Being above average intelligence, I discovered early on that with some planning - it would be possible to get much more intimate with the guys I found attractive without ever threatening the guy's sense of masculine pride.  Being into the gym scene, I became knowledgeable about physiology, working out & MASSAGE as a recovery tool.  Combined with horse-play (unstructured wrestling) & a private, attic bedroom -- I became extremely close to a number of guys.  After you've become good friend's with a guy & he knows that you don't mind massaging him or the physical contact -- most will gladly cuddle up to get the knots hammered out & generally be rubbed on because it feels great (sore muscles or not).  Each & every friendship started out with a "handshake" & progressed to whatever level of depth the other guy would generally acclimate to. 
As a Kinsey-6, I found the effeminate behavior & the stereotypes of "gay men' to be offensive.  I also believed that if anyone had a right to hold such  contempt - it was me. After all, I was on the far end of Kinsey's scale - and not only did I not walk or talk anything like Dame Edna, - but I found the concept of men scoping my buddies with the goal of arse-phucking them to be so offensive as to make me contemplate violence against anyone who'd harbor such disrespect in their hearts -- not to mention openly express it.  Yeah, I "hated" stereotypical FAGS - not because of their orientation, but because the ones who were "visible" didn't seem to consider themselves quite "male"; -- & the so called "masculine gays" were up to their necks in reputations of arse-sex.  Being vocal against "arse-pokers", my peers intrinsically assumed I was not "gay" -- despite the fact that I never had a girlfriend hanging on my arm. I wasn't cruel to the few guys in the school who acted like their sisters.  I simply avoided them & wondered silently how they could be so disinterested in monitoring their own body language when it caused them such general rejection.  Sucks being them.
I had more on my mind: My buddies. I had this growing mass of guys whom I loved in every dimension of the term. However, my deep emotions were always regulated with self control when around groups of people & my friends also kept greater distances in order not to send signals that shallow minds & gossips might turn into some "gay" rumor.  Ironically, open displays of "gayness" among us became fodder for jokes.  Two guys who "everybody knew weren't gay" could create a cacophony of laughter by walking down the hall holding hands.  What was more than ironic was that if I happened to be one of the guys holding hands with a "str8" buddy: A Kinsey-6 who is assumed "str8" playing it "gay"; -& nobody sees the reality of what is in front of them!
Friendship building progressed to deeper levels slowly (intentionally) & out of the mass of guys I loved deeply as close friends -- there were some who succumbed to the affection early on.  One was a "tough guy" named Sean - who grew up in a single-parent home & never knew his dad.  He had a sharp wit & would pull his fists in a second to defend his "reputation".  I outweighed him by a good 25 lbs sophomore year & despite my superior "I could kick your arse if I wanted to - size", I thought his cute smile & rugged little bod coupled with his cocky attitude was adorable ("micro-stud") & I couldn't get pissed off at the guy - even when he ran off at the mouth (before we were friends).  He happened to be the brother of another good friend of mine  - so it was inevitable that we were gonna become friends.  The first time I ever horsed around with Sean - he got a raging hard-on that announced itself loudly through the contours of his sweatpants when I got up off from him.  He was sooo busted - yet instead of a scowl - I gave him a smile & a hard wink from my left eye that only he could see (there were people in the other room & the door to his room was open some).  With a single facial expression - I had told Sean that he was completely accepted & my discretion formed an invisible bond of trust between us that lasts till this day.  I wasn't going to waste any time setting up our next encounter after I saw his erection.  That weekend I invited him overnight - after the game at school.  To shorten a long story: We ended up wrestling, then showering & decided to watch some TV.  The TV was angled so that it was in a corner & faced my bed - not easily viewed from the guest bed - so Sean was beside me in his undies with a bunch of pillows propping up his head.  After about half an hour, he seemed to have fallen asleep (and I wasn't staring at the TV screen any more when there was a better view so much closer & in 3D).  I turned it off with the remote & pulled the blankets down under us so they could be used to cover up.  Sean seemed to come to with a "Huh?".  I told him I was gonna try to get some sleep & he could stay in my bed if he wanted - because it was better than the guest bed, "but I sleep in the raw - if that's OK with you". 
I pulled the covers up over us & proceeded to kick off my shorts.  My heart was pounding - but went to the next level when he said "Me too..." & kicked off his shorts..  So there we were - buck-naked in the dark under the same set of covers in the same bed.  I was actually shaking a little because the level of sexual tension was so high.  I don't know where I got the courage  - to this day I don't know where - but I slid an arm under his torso & rolled him over face down on top of me - pec2pec, cock2cock. He was pretty compliant - probably in shock that I'd be so forward, - which made it easy to pull both of his arms gently behind his back as I held him at the wrists & wrapped both legs around his. "Last one to cum wins...", I whispered to him. 
And that's when his whole body began to stiffen & shake some as he shot - with deep throated whispers that would have been the yells that some men emit as they ejaculate - if he'd used any voice other than panted air.  His legs were restrained by mine as his muscular arse's reflexively alternated - tightening & relaxing his glutes - making his tense restrained body slowly writhe in my hug as he emptied his nutt all over my stomach  in one of the most intensely wet orgasms I've ever felt.  It was one of the most awesome things I'd ever experienced with another guy & I dumped my load mere seconds after he had started his.  The most awesome thing about the event was not that I popped with a hott guy ... but that the hott guy I popped with had such a good experience himself.  For the next minute or so - his dick would occasionally twitch out the last few streamers of jizz in a diminishing set of mini-orgasms that caused him to reflexively stiffen his arse & exhale in little bursts that let me know what he was feeling at that moment.  During the same refractory period, I let go of his wrists & commenced to giving him a slow appreciative massage from neck to buttocks that was an endless series of punctuated hugs. For a guy who always seemed to have a wise crack -- he didn't say a word. 
 I knew too well what was going on in his mind but I had already figured something out: When a guy jacks himself -- it's a guy jacking a guy.  So, if you could have your own cock in your hand pumping out a wad (without being a fag) -- then it was possible to do another guy without being a "fag".  I had made the connection that "fag" & "arse-phuck" were one and the same because that's even what the gay-pubs made clear I massaged Sean into a coma that he awoke from a few hours later - still on top of me.  As he awoke, so did I -& I gave him a big lung-deflating hug.  He rolled off me & asked me not to "tell anyone" what had "happened".  It was then I shared with him the profound thought I had arrived at earlier.  A guy jacking himself isn't considered a fag - so being a "fag" isn't about guys getting each other off ... but guys PHUCKING each other in the ARSE.  Since that didn't happen in my bed & wasn't ever going to -- it wasn't a "fag thing", but a "buddy thing".  And "No, I'm not telling anyone our personal sh1t...so totally relax...".  Over the next few years - I had that same conversation several times (all with different guys).  Laying it out like that was like turning a light on.  "FAG" became an acronym for "Fuck'd Arse Guys" & "GAY" meant "Got AIDS Yet?".  Because none of us did the former, none suffered the latter!  Yeah, at the time we were intense in our opinions & how we perceived self image.  Most of us are more laid-back today - but the basic beliefs about respect of masculinity - core 'g0y philosophies - still remain intact.

Fellatio:
There's been a bit of confusion among some g0ys as to our position on fellatio (BJ'n).  It's really the same principle as anything else: "All things are permissible -but not everything is beneficial." Acts like "Anal*" are too perilous for a number of reasons & cannot ever be considered "safe" (because the act itself is a source of physical trauma -as the lower GI tract is NOT a sexual organ -thus not designed for treatment as if).  

"But what about 'oral'?" Statistically, from an STD perspective: 0ral is about +5000% safer than anal (& because g0ys don't do anal, - nor do guys who do anal - that's 2500x safer)! Generally, men prefer to give oral to circumcised guys as opposed to uncut (but don't panic if you have a hood). It comes down to a matter of perceived cleanliness. Why? Because intimacy with anyone always has risk. In school, "lice checks" were done 1-2 times annually.  Lice could be spread by close contact -nothing even considered 'sexual'.  So, slow pleasuring a guy with your mouth is obviously a means to convey not only, eh - 'lice', but things not so nice.  

I.E: HP-Virus can mess you up.  The 'wart' is a sign that a guy is a carrier ... but in the age of medicine -Dr. Deceiver removes warts from the nads of carriers & thus removes the visual indicators that someone is an HP-Virus carrier.  Damn inconvenient to get on your nads; --But magnitudes worse to get in your mouth. Arse-Phukkerz are the #1 carriers & spreaders --followed by the women who 'do them'.  And HPV is merely one of many perils.  So, the message is: Doing a good buddy has some risk (how good is that communication?);  --And, doing a stranger is just plain stupid!     

As people, we depend on our senses as an indicator of a guys relative health.  It isn't always accurate -- but one can surmise that if a guy generally is clean than he is less likely to allow situations to arise where his personal hygiene shortfalls become perils for others.  One g0y wrote: "Being a clean-freak, -The only time I'd blow my uncut buddy was immediately after showering, swimming or Jacuzzi." Another writes: "The 1st time I blew a guy, it was my buddy Dan on his 16th birthday.  We were at the lake & I swam under the dock & while he floated face up on the other side - I pulled his lower body toward me & worked his speedo's down over his hard on.  After stroking him to the point where I thought he was probably as clean as the crystal lake were were swimming it, -I went down on his uncut mantool for the full 15 seconds or so - until he jizz'd a river from the sensation.  His fresh mansauce wasn't ever an issue in my mind: What I wanted was a totally clean dick to work it out of -- not something that had been sweltering between his legs & wrapped in a ripening foreskin - for even an hour.".  

I've had other guys tell me the same thing.  "Totally clean is the rule."  One g0y suggests: "It's one of the ultimate acts of loving kindness a guy can do to another. However, it's one that I expect to come from intimacy.  One way to clear the "STD" issue is to ask the question in such a way as to preserve the guy's pride no matter how he answers. Questions like: "Because I'm into dick2dick, it really isn't a big issue; --But have you had STI's or anything in the past or are still being treated -- that we might want to wait to clear up before doing more than some rod-rubb'n & ball-bonding?" If you're with another g0y, the answer will be negative most of the time.  If the guy has recently dealt with something -then the safe position is to know specifically the contagion factor & not go there if it's still an issue.  Products like ClearShield that form a monomolecular, invisible glove can substantially reduce skin borne issues like yeast, jock itch, hpv & other sub-dermal source conditions. If the guy has been on antibiotics to deal with a condition, -the best advice is to know for sure that whatever he had - is now clear (I knew a guy who got NSU shortly after his wedding -although it's rare).  You don't want to mess with anything that could wreck your health[.]  Sticking with g0ys (NEVER with FA6S who are willing to go on the C2C-diet w. you {but would play in an arseho1e if given the chance} ) is the safest way to engage.  And remember -- this shouldn't be a 1-nite-stand type of interaction.  With g0ys, "sex" is never casual. It always has meaning & is the "super" in the glue of friendship/s. Staying clean is tremendously important.  Depending on the guy's comfort level - he may or may not want to reciprocate. Lots of g0ys take things slowly and if this is part of the way your buddy chooses to be -- then accept it.  It's about him anyway, right? Be gentle & watch for his feedback cues.  Keep in mind what feels good to you & most importantly: Forget every BJ scene in any porn you've ever watched. (They ain't accurate depictions of the act's dynamics!). Be gentle & take your time. When your buddy finally shoots - remember that you can tease out a series of "aftershocks" that will stretch out his experience & pleasure -especially by using your lips & tongue to tender the bundle of nerves at the base of his glans (dickhead).  And here's a suggestion: whether you love the guy so much you want to drink him down, -- or whether you treat his load like rinsewater; --have the decency to use a good mouthwash afterward. It'll kill germs & make your breath something he'll want to sleep beside.  And sleeping with him is a good idea after the event. Don't simply leave (it makes a guy feel used).  If you're not really tired -- then give your buddy a good body massage & let him know that he's a friend you love to be around.  And by all means -- if the guy seems withdrawn or appears to have something "eating at him", be sure that he understands the g0ys concept of M2M friendships regarding intimacy, respect & discretion.  Fellatio is an extremely intimate event.  It's got to be handled with an intense degree of love -- even if it's with a buddy you can be casual with, wrestle & joke around with.  Light heartedness aside -- when the guy is groaning out his nutt & afterward; -- your body-language, comments & reactions can build him up as a man or rip him down.  Be considerate, gentle & compassionate; --Use your words to encourage & build his esteem.  

Because my  relationships all started as friendships - they continued as friendships - great friendships w. "benefits"; --  Not clingy, or possessive or judgmental regarding petty stuff.  It was nothing like the mindset of M/F couples who "go steady", etc.  We accepted that we were guys with lives that had numerous aspects to the living of.   We were "fine" with girlfriends & accepted that guys could have other guy friends that they were intensely intimate with.  We knew that one guy cannot possess another - and that love, friendships & relationships were not designed to cancel each other out.  No foot stomping ultimatums about "me me me - ONLY me"!  That kind of stuff is what women did (& what we somewhat expected of them). 
There's an old expression that says that, "Love covers over a multitude of sins...", & that's exactly what we experienced collectively: Having so much compassion for each other that screw-ups were more often treated as a sad fact of living life - rather than grounds to accuse & seek sanctions.  And the one thing I noticed that set our relationships apart from fair-weather friendships was that we had times when there was a great amount of humility applied appropriately to many of the situations that arose.  It's hard to want to hurt a guy when you know 1st hand how gentle, tender & wonderfully intimate he can be.  Were their explosions of anger & occasional fights? Yeah.  Did anyone stay angry for long? No. Were their exceptions to the rule? Occasionally. However - male sex drive being what it is, it takes a great deal of humility to be naked with another buddy & both admit that you can see what makes each guy a beautiful guy - with the gentle compassion to affectionately nudge the other toward the true nakedness of an orgasm - without ever suggesting any inequality or masculine deficiency.  A man is never more vulnerable then when he's naked & another person is tendering his genitals.  Making love M2M is a sharing of empathy between men & a feeling of satisfaction in helping the other achieve his goal of climax.  Not selfish - but SelfLess and in the act of loving the other - you are mutually rewarded. 
And the result: I think it's clear: Extended families & intensely personal altruism as that same need to love the other man extends to a deep serious desire to see success, health & enjoyment in the lives of each other.  In the Bible - the intense love between David & Jonathan eventually resulted in David adopting Jonathan's son Mephiboseth after Jonathan was killed in battle.  Some may argue that there is little evidence to suggest they had a "physical" relationship.  I'd say that hugs, kissing, mutual undressing, living in the same palace, sharing property, secret meetings, circumventing the will of the King, swearing oaths with each other before the LORD concerning their seed, etc...makes more of a case for physical intimacy than not!  Oh, and let's not forget the song David wrote where he said Jonathan's love exceeded that of women!  Hello!  The account of David & Jonathan probably makes one of the BEST EXAMPLES of men loving each other with the ultimate in respect - without either playing the "female role" or engaging in disgusting fetishes (AnalSex, contact with feces & X-dressing were all strictly forbidden in the Hebrew Law).   

Many of us are married with children today - and many dealing with the same old ill-fitting labels that we managed to duck in school - now thru the experiences of our kids & friend's kids.  Some are not aware of the "g0y" concept - & instead, probably have some inner turmoil & suspicions that they're part of some "bisexual minority" instead of the +60% MAJORITY!  However - I've been reaching out & sending this link to those guys whom I still have contact information for.  G0YS.org changes lives - because it draws the line of acceptable M2M behavior - not based on some arbitrary rule, - but by drawing on the historical evidence of civilized cultures that go back +4000 years! 


G0YS are men who can completely love other men; - But in doing so, never confound the masculine-sexual-appreciation of that love - never wanting men to play the "female role".