Depressed? Can't find love? The solution for many of these problems for most of us is simple: Get in shape. You may indeed have a great personality, but with men -- love is connected to sex. After all: How is the guy going to get to know you have a great personality until you hook up?
Note: If you have a medical condition that may regulate your ability to exercise or diet - consult a competent physician before undertaking any related lifestyle change.
Common sense: To the right are some before/after pictures of guys who got in shape by watching a video tape & following along (yeah). You may have seen them in an infomercial. While G0YS.ORG doesn't endorse any particular program, these examples speak volumes. Even as low quality, grayscale images, the before/after differences are remarkable.
Fat is the enemy: Since everyone is different, you may need to discover your own fat reduction program. For some, low carbs seem the key, - while for others - low fat seems the route. What seems to be obvious is that a diet rich in BOTH is the thing to avoid. Atkins-based diets are currently the craze (especially Hollywood) & there is much to be said about them. Check it out. I know lots of people who are on it or modified versions of it. Genetics also plays a huge role in this and the older you get - the more susceptible you are to genetics. You may be trying to lose weight but be having strange side effects to diet or extremely low energy. You may want to talk to a doctor about strategies for energy or be tested for "low-T" or other hormonal imbalances. Such conditions can make a huge impact on the way your body burns calories. If you're underinsured or cash-strapped -- this can be a real impediment to getting medical diagnosis (not to mention real help) for such conditions. Don't give up looking. Something may come to your attention that works for you.
It's not "Shallow": Being attracted to a sexy male physique is not a sign of shallowness. A guy who is in shape is broadcasting a message that he lives in a way that keeps his body healthy. A guy who is muscular is also broadcasting that he has good testosterone levels & has the discipline of mind to work his body. These are good personal traits -- especially the latter. A lean, muscular male physique looks good because it tells you about the person inside the package.
Muscle is King: Everyone has muscle. The lower your fat drops, the more the muscle sticks out. Been overweight for a while? Consider this: It takes muscle to carry that weight around. Your frame is probably larger as a result of the extra weight too. Lose the fat & you'll discover a body that is in better shape than you thought! However, once you begin to drop the fat, you'll need to be hitting the weights to keep that muscle mass up. Some people have observed that dieters often seem to lose muscle mass. Dieting, done correctly -- does not eat into muscle tissue. However, dropping weight & failing to work out will tend to atrophy the larger muscles that had developed simply to carry the extra weight around in the first place. If you're overweight by 20+ pounds, be sure to get active as you diet so that the muscle you developed "by accident" stays behind as the fat goes away!
Face Up: As you get in shape, your face will become more symmetrical too! See how much better the guys in the pics look after the weight loss? Hard lines in the male face are what constitute "good looking". Almost every guy with low body-fat can easily hook up. Those with defined muscles (not necessarily huge) get even more social action. As a rule of thumb, the older you are, the more muscle guys expect to see on you. Sexual attraction begins when we discover adult traits in youth & end when the youth can no longer be found in the adult! In between the endpoints, we anticipate growth.
What "Active" is: Active is 30-60 minutes of physical activity a day that raises your heart rate. For guys wanting to enhance "sexy", it's 30+ minutes in a weight room, & I suggest you try some supplements marketed to help your focus areas. Hemp protein is gaining popularity fast!
It Takes Time: None of the results shown above happen overnight. It does take time, but the good news is that time passes -- no matter if you want it to or not. As time passes & you get in better shape, you are going to notice people's attitude changing around you. You are going to get "admirers" & you will get hit on by the right kind of guys. Tune your G0YDAR! Once you're in decent shape, it'll be easier to figure out who the g0ys are because they'll be a little bit out of control around you & almost seem slightly off-balance. It's a great opportunity to make friends & invite them over for "get-togethers".
Predict his needs too: If you want a hot, handsome guy-package, -- you should be offering the same in return. Don't expect the other guy to be interested sexually in a slob. It is a curiosity (but true) that g0ys seem to have higher standards for appearance than Kinsey-1 straight guys do for women! You should want to offer your "date" the same pleasures as you mandate. There are way too many guys posting pictures on-line of their dicks against an ungroomed & undefined belly, ( -- like maybe the viewer is as dumb as a fish looking for a free worm). Such displays tell you that the poster is more interested in pleasing himself than you! Every guy has a dick (comes with the package). A solo picture of such evokes little more than a yawn from any guy using his brain. However, -- show a nice set of abs with a groomed treasure trail, maybe-garnished with a semi looking hungry for attention, & you've perked my curiosity to know more. Shouldn't you aim to offer a view that says more than a generic stiffy?
Little Helps: As you work toward your goal/s, keep in mind that there is nothing wrong with cosmetic assists. Lots of men are opting for pec & calf implants these days. If you're working out & are willing to pay the price, -- these can help you get to the appearance you want quicker. However, -- I've seen implants done on men who were lazy, & very often -- they look lame. Liposuction is a procedure more men are having. However, there are complications to such procedures. Done to augment a man who is battling the effects of normal aging with diet & exercise, -- these options can speed up the progress toward a goal. Done is place of dieting & exercise, -- these steps can be a recipe for ridicule & disaster. Nip/Tuck is an illusion, - & illusions work best when mingled with reality!
It's for Life: Don't see working out as merely a means to get a g0y. See it as a lifetime process that will give you rewards for years to come & make your overall life better. After all, if you hook up with a g0y -- he won't want you to turn into a slob after a year or so. Many relationships break up because each person does not keep in shape to address the sexual appetites of his partner. So, eyes wander & relationships fracture. Because sexuality is part of a strong relationship, you should realize that there is NEVER a time when letting it go is acceptable. Is is too hard to invest 30 minutes every other day to insure an active love life? Cum on! People who love each other should realize that keeping their body sexy is an act of love to the other person. Age will take it's toll, but have the compassion to go down fight'n at the gym! You don't need to be a "Terminator" in your appearance. Get on the health train & the longer you're on, the better the company gets.
Mo Munny: It's a proven fact that good look'n dudes pull in more bucks -- no matter what they do. Life isn't fair & if you've got good symmetry, a good form & look like you sweat testosterone -- you're gonna get hired more. It's a prejudice -- for sure, but more often than not -- the person running the show prefers good look'n dudes; -- so when the debate is on as to who gets the job, -- Johnny Hotrocks has an advantage. For this reason alone, you should be on the health train!
Getting 0ff: Being in good shape makes sex better & you get it more often (proven facts). Part of the most powerful paradigm shift that is "G0Y" is the perspective we have on sexuality in general. When between men, it's a result of friendship & a natural part of male bonding. We realize that - as a g0y - orgasm is not an end to itself -- but part of a process that is much more fulfilling overall: Deepening, intimate friendships. We realize that - for the most part - it takes a while to develop friendships that may evolve into physical intimacy - although there are exceptions (some never will & some move rapidly). However, the g0y perspective never treats another guy as if he's an object. Seeing a person as a 1-nite-ride is a WRONG perspective & a warning signal that you're thinking like a sociopath. The proper goal is always an ever increasing number of real friends. One g0y explained it in this way: "There is a way to be a man, to be a great man who can draw the kind of friendship that we all want. When I meet a guy that I click with, I ask myself, how can I make this guy's life better. With all my friends, I want their lives to be great. I want them to have the best and that means spending time with them, listening to them. It's amazing what even the toughest guys will share when they feel like they can trust you because they can tell that you really love them too.". G0Ys recognize that men are generally polygamous. However - polygamy does not equal promiscuity (a pursuit of sexual pleasure with gross disregard for the personhood of the other & often - yourself). And, if some g0ys choose a more "conservative" model for their own lives -- well, each needs to be fully convinced in his own mind.
Clean Cut: Stay clean & well groomed. Having a bro help clip the body hair can lead to other fun. Make the shower your good-friend & make it the thing you do before going to bed. I could never figure out those guys who bring the day's body soil into the clean sheets (the same ones they want their date to crawl into) & then shower in the morning! Don't slime up the bed (shower last at night before hitting the sack)! Make sure to keep things clean in crotchville. Nothing more disgusting that getting a whiff of crotch-rot while nibbling on a dude (wrecks the entire occasion). Hot tubs make great places to gently wash out any odors by taking advantage of the antibacterial action of the treated water. Cologne on the crotch-area is a great idea -- but NEVER use it in place of bathing. It carries odors! If it's been an active day/evening, - don't take chances with your date: Take a shower & get all the places odors hide soapy clean! A bottle of witch-hazel added to a bath is good for the skin. Be sure to use the toothbrush on the choppers with mouthwash or peroxide in your mouth as you brush. The oxygen in peroxide is an odor buster & anti-bacterial. If you're blonde, you can add peroxide to the bath without having to worry about bleaching your hair too badly. Although some guys claim to like 'manly smells', -- most like 'no smells' or mild 'clean' odors. Keep your feet clean & your shoes odor-free. Treat the inside of footwear with baking soda every once in a while to neutralize odors. Why take chances of being perceived as a pig? Are you looking for a LTR someday? Start good habits now!
So you're young: I've probably heard a 100+ guys say it: They wish they started working out while they were in their teens. Guys who start early live with an advantages of looking good -- often never knowing the hardships of the average or ugly! Have you ever seen a homeless male model? No! Thinking about "coming out g0y"? Hit the gym hard for at least 6 months before you do. If you do eventually "come out', - do it as a "g0y" & have some friendships in place that you can fall back on in all the ways that count. That way, if the sh!t hits the fan, you'll have the body to help negotiate a new living space (lots of other g0ys will be willing to take a chance on you) & you'll have the muscle to cover your arse from the BFT. Remember, being built physically tells about your personality & ability to discipline yourself. Anyone thinking about giving you the keys to the condo is going to want to see those traits. It's a cruel world out there & being a dude who's in shape with youth on his side is a powerful subliminal negotiating tool -- especially to other g0ys who are more interested in building quality relationships than one-night stands. This topic may seem out of place here to some people, but having helped several younger g0ys who were on the street, -- I can tell you honestly that being in shape signals self-discipline & can secure you a place & protection without you needing to become anyone's bitch-boy. There are some awesome g0ys out there who would risk getting burned to snatch you from the fire. Simply avoid the ButtPhuck Tyranny & the "God-hates-Fags" Religious Right. Both will mess you up (each in its own way). Being young & getting in shape has the advantages above & gives you a jump into life that keeps you ahead of the curve. I once knew a 14 yo who was picking up 16+ yo's (...in a legal jurisdiction of course ... wink, wink). Don't let people try to tell you where your dick should point 'because of your age'. If you're old enough to g0y-hunt, then hit the gym. You'll find some great guys there - many g0y.
'"P-h-D" is not pronounced "G-0-D"' - Dr. G0Y
In the West, we live in a culture where people esteem Doctors & Lawyers as Gods. Finding a man with ether label who is willing to share some simple facts, - & by doing do - forsake the all-mighty dollar, - is becoming more of a rarity. Well, I want to share some rare advice with you - the reader.
Nature contains the largest pharmacy with the fewest side-effects. This statement sounds almost like common sense. Consider: Penicillin comes from a mold. Digitalis comes from a deadly plant. Almost all vaccines are derived from the very virus families they help defend against. This has all been true - right up until the last decade of the 20th century.
The "Frankenstein Experience" - as I call it has resulted from advances in chemistry. No longer content to seek treatments to disease from nature's pharmacy, - drug companies have embarked on elaborate projects to create a chemical solution to the problems that arise in life. Perhaps on of the best examples of the Frankenstein Experience comes from a class of drugs called "benzodiazepines". These are drugs like XANAX & Halcion. Although these drugs are widely prescribed, - long term use is beginning to disclose the Frankenstein Effect. In 1992, Consumer Reports printed an article that put the spotlight on this class of drug. XANAX - for example, was shown to have a fascinating side effect: Dementia! That, by any stretch of the imagination is nothing less than creating a niche & then filling it! Grandpa is acting demented! Time to increase his XANAX dosage! Had Consumer Reports not printed this expose', the TRUE CAUSE of my own father's mental illness would have remained undetected by the family. See, dad had a prescription for XANAX - & his behavior was slowly becoming less social over time. Once we pulled the XANAX, he showed remarkable improvement. Yet, that was in 1993; -- but today ... XANAX sales are at an all time high. Why? People don't read the list of side effects & doctors do not take time to explain the potential complications. After all: Who would suspect a drug given to help people to not be crazy - of causing insanity itself?!
Prozac & suicide? Yeah ... there's a connection.
Furthermore ... they knew. It caused "psychotic depression" in
some patients too? Yup. They knew. And ... it's still
prescribed. Got Paxil?
The newest stuff: SSRI, SNUI & the list goes on. See the lawsuit story list yet? So, while these companies continue to produce, patent & profit from these man made molecules - the public, overwhelmed by the marketing & power of which the Doctor's wield their prescription-writing pens - are not only oblivious to alternatives -- but actually skeptical that effective natural alternatives exist! "What is this snake-oil that just anyone can buy without a prescription!", they ask incredulously. I am targeting the antidepressant market because I'm about to make a point & needed to contrast of a multi-billion dollar marketplace that is held out to the public as "treatment" while for most people, a better, proven & safer treatment exists that your doctor will not write a prescription for & your insurance will probably not pay for.
Remembering Jack: Do you remember the story about the guy named Jack who sold the family cow for a handful of beans - that grew a stalk up to the sky - to a castle of the man-eating giant? Well, despite the fact the story was written out of time & suffers some temporal distortion as a result; -- It is, quite true. Jack actually traded the cow for (2) different "beans".
Let me show you what our pseudo-friend "Jack" discovered: It's called 5-HTP; -- & as an antidepressant & mood stabilizer - there is evidence going back several decades or more! "Dr. W. Poldinger of the Psychiatrische Universitatsklinik in Basel, Switzerland (A functional-dimensional approach to depression: serotonin deficiency as a target syndrome in a comparison of 5-hydroxytryptophan (5-HTP) and fluvoxamine. Psychopathology. 1991,24:53-81) in a double blind, multi-center controlled study using patients diagnosed with depression found that after week 6, both the patients taking 100 mg. 5-HTP 3 times per day and those taking 150 mg. fluvoxamine (Prozac -an SSRI) 3 times per day, had equal numbers showing about 50% improvement with 5-HTP proving to be better tolerated than the SSRI and having about a 11% lower failure rate than the SSRI group."
So, got depression, anxiety or any number of other conditions that doctors want to write prescriptions for? Before you hop in bed with "Frankenstein" - consider natural 5-HTP. Do the research for yourself & draw your own conclusions. It's your life.
BTW: I know of people who have effectively used 5-HTP to arrest the effects of herpes simplex virus. The hypothesis is that the virus activates when serotonin dips low (caused by stress, etc). 5-HTP is thought to interfere with the virus by increasing serotonin levels in the nerves where the virus hides.
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