To Quote Radio
'As your streets are closed off this summer to
make way for men in dresses and dykes on bikes along with the men in
thongs contorting themselves into odd poses on floats – keep in mind that
gays are doing this on their own and painting their own community with the
stereotypes that they are demanding so many pretend are just slander by
religious people and those “out of the mainstream.” Remind them that you
saw it in their parade, at their rally and during the time when they were
in the spotlight in a festival that they created and generated for
themselves and the world to see. That won’t shut them up or stop them from
complaining, but it may give them cause to think a little bit about the
consequences of their behavior.
What an interesting world we live in – gays keep the stereotypes of
gayness going and normal people get disciplined for endorsing them.
Typically parades and protests are meant to change minds: marches against
abortion are used to stop abortion, marches against taxes are used to stop
the increase of taxes, but only in the world of fags, dykes and queers are
marches used to put on display the stereotypes of being gay demanding
legislation against exactly the same thing: Political Science 101 – if you
want someone to stop calling you a fag – stop calling yourself one first.
“Watch my parade, endorse the political positions on my signs, but forget
what I’m actually doing or what I look like because if you don’t – you’re
an intolerant bigot.” Only gays could get away with that and luckily,
since they’ve been doing the same thing for 30 years without success in
their cause, most people in the real world understand the hypocrisy and
- Steve Yuhas is a G0Y
columnist and radio talk show host on KOGO AM 600 based in San Diego. He
may be reached at [email protected] or www.steveyuhas.com
as a weapon...
This g0y thing: It's been a long time coming.
I discovered in my early teens that lots of guys are Bi/g0y. You discover this
if you're masculine, good-looking, friendly, & DO NOT wear the "Gay" label.
I believe that it's only about 1 out of every 3 guys who are firmly "straight".
The other 66% like handsome, masculine guys to some degree. That was the
80's and, despite rumors in the news to the contrary - guys are still the same.
And NOT wearing the "Gay" label is still a wise idea if you find
AnalSex & GenderFuck starkly contrary to your ethos.
I attended a university in New-England as an
engineering student in the mid 80's. I was in a dorm. The roommate assigned to
me was a fat, spoiled rich kid from Connecticut who was a business major.
He was a "Third" ... like Thurston Howell. I'll refer to him simply as
I was & still am an easy going guy who tends
to make friends easily & get along with people -- even when they're being
douchebags. I learned young in life that it's better to think a problem
out & deal covertly with dickheads rather than confront them directly & get your
bike tires slashed. My mannerisms don't get me pigeonholed into the "gay"
category -not back then nor now. Which is fine because I now identify as a g0y.
"Bob" made it clear to me that he
was an douchebag in need of flushing several weeks into the 1st semester of college.
At the end of the hall was a guy from the Middle East (or was it Middle Earth?)
named Goonahm. One evening on the day I decided that Bob must go ... Goonahm
thought it would be a good idea to get drunk and then wander into my dorm room
(that Bob constantly left the door open to). In his state of cocky
intoxication, Goonahm decided that I was a "curly haired motherfucker" & wanted
to get Bob's agreement with the assertion. Rather than show that he had a spine
(which I suppose is difficult when you don't) - Bob simply agreed with Goonahm
by saying ... and I quote ... "I know". Yeah: Bob was a spineless douchebag.
Although some guys may have opened (2) cans
of whoopass, I decided to take a calculated approach to douche management & keep
on studying for an upcoming exam - as I replied with a disinterested "whatever"
& turned back to the book I was reading. Unable to bait me into
the drunk fight he wanted, Goonahm left the room and I began to plan how I was
going to get rid of Bob the spineless disloyal douchebag.
Opportunity presented itself near the end of
the semester. Bob invited (2) of his friends to visit him at the dorm. Their
plan was to stay a day/night (in our room) & then head back to Connecticut.
Bob the douche didn't seem to care that it was final-exam time and his
engineering roommate may need to study for finals. I presumed that this
was because business finals were child's-play compared to engineering. I still
hold that opinion after seeing the 1st semester post-final attrition in
engineering vs. business. But I digress.
That evening while Bob and his 2 "guests"
were trying to figure sleeping arrangements I seized my opportunity & offered to
share my bunk if the floor seemed unappealing. My offer was declined.
Till this day, I suspect their open discussion about sleeping arrangements had
merely been a ploy to get me to offer up my bed completely. That wasn't
going to happen on final exam night. Now let me be clear that I had done
nothing that semester that would clue anyone into my sexuality - up to that
point. But now I was going to leverage Bob's prejudice - and if done
correctly - I'd be rid of him by next semester. Bob's friends "decided" to camp
out on the floor in light of the fact that beds weren't magically appearing.
That was fine - but I had one more tactic I
was going to use in order to get Bob to be gone. That night at about 1-2
AM, I turned around in my bed facing the other direction - which was about half
a meter away from the feet of one of Bob's "guests". As he slept - I
leaned off my bed and reached under his covers just far enough to begin to
lightly scratch the soles of his bare sleeping feet. At 1st his toes
simply curled reflexively but about 2-3 minutes into the treatment he came to
his senses just barely enough to realize was was happening & withdrew his feet
higher up into his blanket out of my reach from my bed. I reasoned that the
worst that could happen was that he'd loudly object to which I'd feign being
offended with his unreasonableness because, after all, - I was only "being
friendly & horsing around". The other side of the coin was that he'd have
silently offered me more than just feet to tickle-scratch (& this guy was a
The next day I aced my final (highest score
in the class as it would turn out). I packed and left the campus for
semester break. When I returned at the beginning of the 2nd semester - all
Bob's things were gone. He had moved down the hall into a room with 2
other guys. Yeah! I kept a straight (pun) face because now the spineless douche
was gone and I'd be enjoying a single room to myself (until I got a roommate)
while Bob lived in a room the same size with (2) other guys.
That situation ended up working out better
than I could have imagined. Several times during the 2nd semester I was notified
that I'd be getting a "new" roommate. On the day each was supposed to move
in -- it would be a no-show. Why? Because the guys on my wing of the floor
who hung out with Bob were "warning" potential roommates of mine that I might be
"gay". And the gay-stigma during the 80's was so negative that instead of
moving in -- they'd go elsewhere. So I was a freshman with a single room on a
floor where at least (2) of the rooms had 3 guys in occupancy. Think about that:
Even guys stuffed 3 to a room didn't want to leave those situations because the
HATE towards guys who (had merely been RUMORED) like guys was so
Meanwhile - most of my friends were guys from
other dorms - or off campus and they didn't come in contact with the phobes from
my dorm other than very briefly. And the phobes in
my dorm would not approach any guy who might be with me to "warn" them (&
spread the rumor further) because they did not know what the relationship
between me and a guy-friend may actually be. The cowards didn't want it to
get back to me that they were spreading rumors. That being the fact - they would
not risk telling someone their dirt if they thought it might get back to me.
After all, I wasn't "out"; & even in their own minds - the "rumors" they spread
were speculation based on Bob's story which involved nothing more scandalous
than "he tickled one of my friend's feet once". And that's some pretty
circumstantial sh!t; - & since the Goonahm incident had already established that
Bob was a spineless douchebag; -- the uncertainty of my situation in their
eyes made direct confrontation & accusation too risky. The fact is that
University life isn't like high-school. It's difficult to get rumors to
cross peer groups; - Especially when the subject of a rumor doesn't fit the
stereotype the rumor suggests.
Since I already knew what they (Bob's little
peer group) were up to; - I let some of my friends know how I had "convinced"
Bob to leave without even needing to ask!And I didn't feel compelled to
disclose the facts of my sexuality to the people that I told the tale to.
Everything about my persona screamed, "straight" when contrasted to the
stereotypes that the term "gay" carried in that time frame.
All that my peers knew is that I found a way to use someone's own prejudice to get rid of a
douchebag of a roommate by planting the suggestion that I might be "gay".
This was during the time frame that the show "3's
Company" was in the top 10 television programming ratings. And my
prank's parallel to the TV show's plotlines were hilarious.
See, to this day - Bob probably doesn't
realize that it was he that was the butt of the joke - that it was on
him! Despite whatever rudeness had existed in rumor against me from his club of
bigots; - I would often close my dorm door and behind it double over in
squelched laughter as I considered my total privacy, w. twice the floor-space, 2
closets, twice the desktop space and the ability to have any company I wanted
over day or night. And all I had needed to do was covertly convince a spineless
bigot douchebag (& his friends) that I might, possibly like guys (which, ironically, I did)!
We are the g0ys. Join us.
It seemed prudent to put together an essay on the concept of prejudice & how
the GAY community is both causation & victim due to the spokespeople it chooses
to represent "who is gay". To help me illustrate my point: I'll tell you
that the African American in the photo to the left earns over $200,000 per year!
Can you pick out the African-American from the image on the left?
If you said, "the woman", you'd be absolutely wrong. The picture was
taken in Haiti and the man is a doctor who was born in South Africa & also has his
Canadian Citizenship. He's AFRICAN-AMERICAN in the truest, lawful, sense of the
term. The woman is Haitian.
But how many people instantly associate
dark skin with the term "African" and the term "American"
with "USA" (Canada is in North America)! Those labels are forms of prejudice; --&
subtly promoted by mass media without a single thought or concern for the truth.
"Is he gay?",
or "Is he a homosexual?".
How many times in your life have you heard those questions asked?
Excuse my vernacular - but what the FUCK
do those questions mean?
detail-seeking-questions are valid because people tend to be so imprecise with their language -- ESPECIALLY with the use of the term
"GAY" - that you can't tell by a person's commentary what actually is the truth
about a guy's basic sexuality. "GAY" is a term of slang because it
seems to be used -even when a much more precise term may be available.
Dogs may have a more precise vocabulary!
I.E: Why was "BrokeBack mountain" called a "gay" movie? Both main characters
have wives & kids. Isn't it a "BIsexual" movie about 2 guys with wives -
who also loved each other (& had an odd fetish for ass-sex)? Since this is so
obvious; - why is it called a "gay themed" movie? Does the act of
the Ass-Fuck make it
"gay"? G0YS believe it does - and for good reasons!
For those who have spent any real time on this website, - the terms "STRAIGHT,
BI & GAY" are words often used by people who can't think, won't
think, or are simply unaware of the fact that sexual attraction is a CONTINUUM; -- & the minority
of people are at the end points of either extreme in orientation while
the MAJORITY of people are
somewhere in between.
Based on a poll of over
0ver 60% admitted some degree of same gender affection
(K1-K6 on chart). [K0-K5] can all "EMULATE K0" in the bedroom! But
fake K0 only in words (been there, done that).
So then, the question, "Is he gay?", seems to have some prejudices attached
to it that are supported by the facts 10% or less of the time. If one was to look at
the FACTS, the PRESUMPTION would be that "He" is probably attracted in
degree to members of his own gender.
This statistically is the MAJORITY!
The better question would be: "Is he on a
Kinsey-endpoint?". But - in light of current prejudices - & lax
use of language - we know that most people are too intellectually
shallow to use precise terminology! Bark! Bark! Growl!
It took the most brilliant minds of his
day, about 5-years to contemplate the implications of Einstein's E=MC2.
And even then, his theory didn't have an "ass-fuck stigma" attached to it. In
light of that, expect society to cling to the outmoded thinking of 2
"sexuality-checkboxes" until, say - 2025 - (until grasping the implications of the chart
to the right)! It will probably be 2050 until everyone looks back on the
prejudices around human sexuality of the 20th & mid 21st century for what
they were. Perhaps I'm being an optimist?
the "gay men" in the "pride parade" composite picture on the right? You find
the task a little bit easier? Are these NOT the stereotyped images many
people visualize when the term "gay" comes up? And you'll notice
that it's men who self-identify as "GAY" who are pushing the "Fairies, freaks &
gender-fuck" messages connected to the term "GAY". It's
In the image at the page top, it's clearly obvious that it is the mass-media that is
primarily responsible for people associating "dark" with "African" when the fact
is that there are millions of white Africans and many of those have
American (whatever American country) citizenship (making them TRUE African Americans). But the
media promotes a
giant prejudice tying color with geography and the term "American"
with the USA-alone (Canada is also part of America - as is Mexico and the other
nations of Central and South AMERICA. And all of these prejudices are fueled by the
small IQ's in media & "political correctness". You too?
Prove me wrong!
The prejudices associated with the images to the RIGHT are likewise media
driven -- but with one key exception: It is the GAY COMMUNITY ITSELF that drives
the message that "GAY-MEN are gender bending oddities". Other images that
come into the public mind when the topic is gay-men are like these (Left/Below):
Such images - created by the gay-pride & gay-porn -- give a shocking view
into the minds of the gay-male paradigm. The image on the left is not some fringe
publication. It is an ad that arrived uninvited - in an e-mail box.
It is a site on the Internet that will sell streaming video, etc.
Men - who are by nature sexual & many who have bad habits like watching M/F
porn-fantasies -- see advertising like that on the left - to represent
a real threat. "How wide is the dividing line between fantasy & reality?",
they ask themselves on a subconscious level.
It is a fact that men who are raped by other men have an extremely low rate of
reporting the act. What man wants to be at a party & accidentally drink
too much around a group of men who extol the title of "gay" in light of material
like that on the left (& knowing what male sex drive is like). For
comparison: How many
parents would approve of their daughters passing out drunk around a bunch of
drunk college Frat boys? Do you understand the subconscious threat?
AnalSex by its very nature is a TORT.
The "Gay' male community advertises
that TORT as it's hallmark. It is this precise subconscious visceral
connection that is the root-reason for most of what is labeled "homo-phobia".
And if you don't understand how dangerous that TORT is -- then you need to
do the fucking math!
The image of the gay-pride event above is quite surreal. Anyone
watching has to ask themselves: "Is this what the gay-male community is all
about?" The same question rings true of the image on the left. Critics may argue that there are lots of "nice gay people". Perhaps.
But if you're locked in a cage with a bunch of snakes -- how many need to be
venomous to make you prejudge them all?
course -- the primary act that the gay-male community holds up as their
"defining sex" is actually a fetish involving a non-genital organ:
Seen by civilized society for thousands of years as a crime against nature
(because it IS) --
the majority of people find the act repulsive and many societies have labeled it
criminal (because it should be
the fact that research has shown that this act is the key for the explosive
spread of sexually transmitted diseases (+5000% more frequently than even
oral-sex/per-contact), the gay male community has so defined
itself (defined itself) in terms of this fetish that the media now
routinely substitutes the term "gay-sex" when they mean "anal-sex".
Although practiced among mixed gender couples, -- it previously represented a
mere minority of sexual contacts -- but is slowly gaining social acceptance
because of the message for "tolerance" pushed by the gay community regarding
"their sex act" is being hammered into the public psyche. This gradual acceptance of what was once considered a
form of moral decadence parallels (interestingly enough) the explosive spread of
sexually transmitted diseases into Africa & Asia -- populations that often lack
antibiotics & other medicines -because of poverty. The result is a
self-inflicted death toll unparalleled in human history - with an origin that
can be clearly linked to the unrepentant "gay male" community & the explosion of
pornography depicting "anal-sex" as an acceptable act.
It has been estimated that anal-sex is depicted in over +95% of gay-male
pornography - especially obvious in "GAY" advertising of "gay-porn". This
is precisely the reason that "GAY-SEX" is used interchangeably with the term
"ANAL-SEX"! The bias is set so concretely in the public psyche that the
prejudice generally goes unrecognized; --For the same reason that people think
"BLACK U.S. CITIZEN" when they hear the term "African American" -- despite the fact
that "African Americans" can be of ANY COLOR and live in North, Central or South
Because of human nature being what it is; -- Once people adopt a form of
behavior as acceptable to their own consciences, they seldom change or modify it
-- despite information that paints it in the actual negative light it deserves. Instead, people
tend to justify their behavior - rationalizing it. This is why drunks keep
driving & drug abusers keep abusing, - long after they've destroyed their own
lives & negatively impacted all around them. This is why the smoker keeps
smoking despite the mountain of evidence as to where it leads & who it effects.
Once people's consciences have been hardened, our prison statistics show that
they rarely change. That fact is true of all behaviors -- even those
not statutorily labeled as "crimes" -- even when they perhaps - should be.
Likewise, -few people ever take serious steps to clean up their sloppy thought
patterns & correct their misuse of language -- even when those who have a
skilled ear hear them as offensive, uneducated & vulgar.
The gay male community extols anal-sex as if the human body was built to
accommodate the act (when it clearly was not). The gay male community
marginalizes the devastating effects of anal-sex as a conduit for pathogenesis.
Instead, they sloppily attempt to justify their vulgarity by claiming that many sexual activities can spread disease. Such a
half-assed-claim is like saying that, "Because many people get hit by lightning every year;
--Holding a long metal pole in your hand while playing golf during an electrical
storm is of no real consequence..." - as if such extremely perilous acts bear the
same risks as those more benign! Consider this fact: If anal-sex was not
acceptable in the "gay" community -- then STD's - like AIDS - that ravage it
have never made a statistical dent! In other words: It is the very act of
anal-sex that made ALL of the "gay-plagues" happen! But rather than weigh the
EVIDENCE & embrace reason; -- The gay male community will continue to navigate
the same mindless course & criticize anyone who draws a distinction - as being "homophobic"
& gender bending have anything to do with same gender
Unlike any other group I can think of: The prejudices & stereotypes
that society has of the gay community are actively reinforced by the gay
community itself! It's UNredeemable!
As I have noted before: I often hear from "GAY" men who
claim that "Not all gay men are into analsex". They're correct! They
also inform me that "Not all GAY MEN are into x-gender activity." Again: They
are correct! Men who love men/too & who are not involved in anal-fetishes nor
x-gender activity are called: G0YS! Among men who call themselves "GAY", -g0ys
are far, far under 50%. Although, when you cross-section the general male
population, --g0ys are well OVER 50%! Kinsey pegged it in 1948!
Labels DO Matter...
Men who self-identify as "gay" constantly ask the same
dismissive question: "Why does the g0y label truly matter?
If you're a guy who likes guys - it means you're "gay", right?"
Wrong. As Kinsey the researcher discovered - the
majority of men are amBIsexual. +53% like guys too - to some degree. And the
majority of those men and even guys who exclusively like guys - find the notion
of AnalSex to be absolutely repulsive - wanting nothing to do with any
association that might suggest otherwise!
The "Gay-Sex" stereotype has been
(& still is) the act of
. So why should a guy who happens to like guys/too label
himself with a term that falsely implies something about him, something that he absolutely
So, the term G0Y is most important to the men who label
themselves with it. It is a term that tells every ass-fucker: "Go fuck yourself"
(quite literally). And because the term g0y is also (by definition) testosterone
heavy - it sends the message that the guy wearing the term isn't interested in
girly-men, nor chicks with dicks nor any other guy who wants to dismiss the
effect of testosterone on the male body & psyche.
And, since every major health organization on the planet
has confirmed that the act of the ass-fuck is +5000% (real figure - not an
exaggeration) more perilous than even oral-sex; -Men who wear the g0y label &
shun ass-fuckers immediately gain the advantage that comes from eliminating the
single most dangerous peril among men who love men. Statistically - that
position lowers the risk of catching ANY STD (STI) by +4300% (Source: American
Red Cross). And only a certified FuckTard ignores that sort of safety
So, the importance of wearing the g0y label is most
important to the men who label themselves with it and secondly, - men who are
looking for likeminded men and need to quickly filter out the FuckTards (who
believe that having no standards for healthy human behavior somehow constitutes
a "virtue" that they mislabel as "tolerance").
G0YS know that a man who puts the rabid dog in the same
kennel as the family pet is a FuckTard. "Gays" label such discernment as
"discrimination" & "dogophobic". Dear reader: You decide.
It Comes in a Can:
And if you really want to piss off people who think their's is
better than someone-else's (such as racists, & olde-Mormons, etc.); -Get the
theology from the g0ys-website in front of their reading-glasses!
It'll wreck their entire decade -or so.
Studs 'n Hunks come in all colors and the
same is true of decent & indecent people. Skin-color like all other
external traits is morally-neutral. It truly adds variety -the spice of
life. If you went to the buffet & white-rice was the only dish, -I
suspect you -like most people - would be disappointed.
Race adds differences -from appearance - to
innate behaviors resulting from nuances in brain-circuitry - also wired by
genetics. Like any trait: it simply just IS...
But I thought that it still may be necessary
to add this subsection because there are people "out there" who assert
that g0ys is some sort of shallow "prejudice club". Well, we do
"judge" ourselves, prospective members & those who stand against
our core values. However, -that discernment is not based on any mere
"trait" like race or nationality. Simply, -our hard-line-stance
is based on behavior and we oppose those promoting
philosophies that: maim, spread disease &
kill. And we're easily UNimpressed with people who aren't thoughtful
enough to consider the results of their actions & the philosophies they
People are impressionable. If you run
off at the mouth & spew a mantra that convinces others to debase
masculinity, men or humanity in general -by promoting perilous or harmful
behavior/s; --Then you're no friend of anyone "g0y". And we'll
tell you so. It should be clear in light of those principles that
g0ys do not support the current state of the "GAY MALE PARADIGM", - whatsoever.
Some people assert that our posturing makes
us a "hate" group. Well, -I'd have to say that "HATE"
may be under-rated if it's aimed at the irredeemable scoundrels &
sick-tickets of society. No apology is offered for the fact that g0ys loudly
exercise healthy discernment.
But, -that guy I'm wrapped up with in bed who
has an arm & leg across me as he sleeps soundly in my gentle half-hug ...
THAT guy knows that I'd never do nor promote anything to hurt him or give him a
disease. If he got back late from overdoing it at a party, --he knows that
he'll NOT wake up with a sore, blood-encrusted arsehole - nor discover a
"mysterious STD" a month or so from now. He knows that the color
on the outside means nothing to me, --but I value greatly the shape of the man
beneath the skin. G0YS are all about character, friendship & respect
of masculinity. Love works no ill. And that's the hard-line we expect men
And most men know that it's morally-wrong to
hurt other people in the name of pleasure. And most men care ... except
How I think
and why I too say there are NO homosexuals, only people who think they are:
"Coming out” written by Siya Khumalo
mentioned in another post, I’ve been told to “come out” to my pastor, a
rather wise, rather young man who probably knows everything anyway.
Come out as what? Human? In hindsight, the coming-out ritual is an
unnecessary headache. Now, don’t misunderstand me – my pastor is a great man
and I don’t pooh-pooh the therapeutic benefits of speaking to someone. But
he is busy. What would his schedule be like if, for example, every man that
masturbated decided to “come out” to him about it? He’d be swamped!
There are no homosexuals. There is homosexuality that exists to some degree
or another in all people, just as there are no black people, only melanin
manifesting itself in different concentrations in different skins.
Categories overlap, mix and merge.
Another reason I think coming out is a mistake is that the male world
short-changes men that come out as gay. It’s an ingenious and cruel trick;
it would be unforgivable if it weren’t so unintentional.
You see, whenever I told guys I trusted that I was “gay”, I got support. But
what I really desired was solidarity. I trusted those guys with my secret
because I believed that on some level, they knew what it was like to be
attracted to other men...
In hindsight, I was probably correct about the second part and incorrect
about the first. They know what it’s like to find men attractive; of that I
have very little doubt. But they can’t fit their minds around being “gay”
and in fact, men have to be exposed to a lot of left-leaning, “tolerant”,
“open-minded” ideas in order to sum the courage to say they’re gay if gay is
everything they’ve been convinced that it is. In a sense, then, confessing
that one is gay is like surrendering one’s manhood, a price too high to pay
for a label.
“Gay” has been depicted as a whole new way of doing identity. The word “gay”
has baggage, and there isn’t one human being in the world ready and able to
embrace all of it. It’s not humanly possible. In this painful game of
ill-fitting labels, “Gay” can’t just mean finding men attractive. The number
of men who are attracted to men is so high that the word “gay” would lose
Back to those men I’ve told about my attraction to men: it was kind of them
to show me support, but support was less than solidarity. I can’t blame
them; they cannot enter into solidarity with a man who says he is attracted
to other men especially if he uses the term “gay”, or speaks about his
same-sex attractions as though he’d thought about them very long and very
hard. Because that’s precisely what gay men do; they think about their
attractions. I believe that on some level, to have thought about one’s
same-sex attractions subconsciously signals to the male listener that
something is not quite right. You become “other”. Your mistake was not being
attracted to men – you could get drunk with a friend, sate that desire and
then pretend nothing happened one hollow weekend after another – but rather,
in examining your desire for other men, and trying to find its meaning and
implications. Bad, bad move.
When you come out as gay, the men you come out to will offer you support.
Then, having offered you support, they stand back to watch you walk a path
alone that you should be walking with most of them. Because there is a 63 –
68% chance that they know from first-hand experience what it’s like to like
When I came out to them, I expected them to say, “You know, I once went
through a phase where I felt like that” or something. To date, only three
straight-identified guys have indicated that they’re rather “flexible” when
it comes to sexual partner gender.
The most revolting thing in all this is that there is no way of knowing what
I should be feeling when I receive support from a male friend I’m coming out
to. Sometimes, I get that person’s support and then a niggling thought says,
“He owes you more than support; he owes you self-disclosure. He invited you
to be vulnerable; you were vulnerable; he should reciprocate.” My gratitude
to that guy for supporting me is immediately tainted. I come to the
realization that I cannot be friends with straight-identified men and they
can feel that bitchy bitterness in me. It seeps, unbidden and unwanted, into
my kindest actions and my most gracious words towards them. I am cut off
from the world. I’m hoping to vent some of that darkness here.
The opposite also happens; a guy I come out to expresses support for me as
an individual (few people will say, “Yeah, and I totally support your
lifestyle too” – they normally just embrace the person) and, following my
gut, I push the issue ever so gently.
“Aren’t you gay too, even a little bit –?” I caught you glancing at me that
time like I’d taken your breath away. I am very perceptive. Nothing – not
one nuance, not one thought – gets past me. I see it all.
You created a silent tension in your car that other time, as though you
wanted something you did not have the words to articulate – something you’d
gotten to experience with other men but, in the absence of non-gay
homosexual terminology, you do not have the vocabulary to articulate. Please
don’t tell me I’m all alone in this.
So I get asked, “Are you gay?”
I used to say I was.
I’m learning the power in saying I’m not.
These facts simply acknowledged for
what they ARE --
because there was a social
need & moral imperative for the formation of a group of men who were
affectionate toward other men -- but completely repulsed by the imagery,
stereotypes & stigmas promoted (-not only by mass media - but by the gay-male
community itself). To us, the "gay spectre" is so reprehensible & gilded in
filth -- that something needed to be created as an alternative for the majority
of men who genuinely love & respect masculinity (&
reject acts that deride it). Simultaneously
- recently developed apologetics needed to be made available to
same-gender-attracted people who have been devastated by the widespread
misreading of the Hebrew & Christian Scriptures. As it turns out - those
Scriptures NEVER condemned same-sex intimacy! The SPECIFIC
CONDEMNATION was against anal-sex (for extremely good
Because of these giant issues affecting untold numbers of men ... G0YS.org was
"GAY" is a term that
society sees as part of a "package deal". It may have started out as
a term that meant "same gender affection", but it has morphed into a thing
that carries lots of social baggage in the wearing of it. Each
person determines for themselves if they want to don that term.
Since "g0ys" was coined -- many men who once applied the term "gay" to
themselves (for lack of a better word) -- now say "g0y"; -- & as
important: They have a resource they can point anyone to in order to
understand the differences at: www.g0ys.org
(spelled w. a zer0). Rarely in history has such transformative power been bestowed
upon a single term so quickly & globally; -- A term that impacts many more
men then the "gay community" could ever hope to influence.