Years of personal experiences, testimonies & e-mails have made (1) thing very clear to me: When a guy is falsely led to believe that the most intimate & loving aspects of his personality are socially-deviant (evil), -the foundation laid leads to a downward spiral of severe depression and very often -anxiety disorders that have all the symptoms of PTSD (extremely serious). Suicidal ideations are not uncommon.
G0YS who have survived the "guilt-gauntlet" can testify that it is possible to have fulfilling friendships that are extremely intimate -even sexual with other guys; -& without anyone being abused nor subjected to the perils of disease.
The g0ys who have had the epiphany of what the word "BEST" in the term "BEST - FRIENDS" can imply, --know that the true social-deviants & distorted personalities are those that call good, "evil" based on prejudices & bad assumptions about masculinity, intimacy & sexuality.
It's tremendously important to label WHO the deviants really are and WHY. G0YS know that "morality" is not some abstract principle, but is gauged by the real-world outcomes of actions. And those "actions" may be as simple as words used to fraudulently label somebody. And such abuses are particularly damaging if they are issued by a source that has been previously trusted such as a parent, guardian or other esteemed community member. This exponential damage occurs because the message-filters normally used to discern evil intent from "strangers" is generally bypassed due to established trust. An analogy would be a pair of computer networks designed to interact with each other. Such a design is called a "trust" and normally results in the smooth flow of information & programs between the two with a minimum of screening. However, -if one of those systems becomes compromised, -the damage that can be inflicted on the secondary system can be catastrophic because the existence of the "trust" implies safety with minimal oversight. In such a situation, the damage done will generally evade detection until something "breaks" and causes secondary inspection. Likewise, messages that stream in from otherwise "trusted" sources that condemn same-sex intimacy merely due to the constituency of the gender components impact with all the power of a hypnotist and can cause a cascade of destructive thought processes in the recipient.
I believe that it is precisely this sort of violation of trust that prompted Jesus to harshly condemn the religious leaders of his time by telling them that they shut the Kingdom of God in Men's faces -but they themselves would not be entering either because they prevented people from entering who would have normally done so. Hello! Jesus said that they (the so called "religious experts") were like "Whitewashed tombs" (that looked really nice on the outside but were full of death itself)! He added that they laid up heavy burdens on the backs of men -but would not lift a finger to move the burden elsewhere! They were the religious elite. They were the educated of their day in matters of "Law". Yet Jesus said that they were actually the offspring of Satan himself and that they made their followers twice as bad! Many guys know what it's like to have some mean-spirited douche-bag quote what "Pastor Poisontongue" or "Deacon Deathmessage" said about men who love men, etc. And they usually cite Paul's writing to the Romans out of context (just as St. Peter warned they would). And that's all bad enough - but when these same message infiltrate family, friends & faculty -- life can become massively depressing for guys who are often invisible targets of words that injure the self-esteem in secret. (Meanwhile - the very same Bible contains the following lyrics in a song that King David of Israel wrote about his friendship with former Prince Jonathan after Jonathan was killed in battle: "I am distressed over you, my brother Jonathan. You were very delightful to me; your love was wonderful to me, exceeding the love of women." - David (2Sa 1:26)) The Scriptures don't contradict themselves. Clergy do.
The majority of men who love men are often completely invisible -except to those who have been with them in this same context. For most, -those who know are outnumbered by the fingers of a lone hand. And this is true because most of these same men can conceal the fullness of their affections by hiding behind a "traditional" male/female relationship. The sports hero who dates the cheerleaders is usually not suspected of occasionally sharing his bed with another team-mate. Yet this sort of activity is so common that the actual numbers confound intuition completely. And these relationships (friendship max'd out) are generally nothing like "gay porn's highlights" whatsoever. They are g0y. And as such; -they are formed out of mutual respect, admiration, affection & an unabridged appreciation of physical aesthetics. There's no anal-sex & nothing "casual" about the shared intimacy.
And for the last 5+ decades, the reality of these friendships has been eclipsed by the stereotypes & shameful stigmas about the "gay" community about male/male sexuality and reinforced in mainstream media. And unlike most biases against any group, --the spectre of "gay sex" is actively promoted from within the gay-male demographic itself. It's a social train-wreck of decadence, disrespect, disease & death showcased openly and called "gay pride", -but "pride" is the antithesis of what it IS. Truth-in-advertising would label it "sociopathic sexuality" (because what is displayed in the showcase has nothing to do with love, masculinity, respect nor affection). And for men who choose not to embrace the "diversity" of playing in shit, plugging assholes nor opening their circle of friends to the likes of drag-queens; -- "GAY" is a term that does NOT represent them. In other words: Just because John Wayne Gacy dressed up as a clown, --doesn't mean that the "Clown Association" needs to accept his membership, nor his "lifestyle" nor that of his ass-clown buddy "Kinko". Men of good conscience know these things and how to discern differences based on what really matters as opposed to superficial commonalities.
In the early 21st century, -something amazing happened. For the 1st time in modern times, "Gay Male Culture" was scrutinized through 3000+ years of history and the "G0YS" movement was established. Finally, a solid logical base of rational apologetics came into existence to challenge the "GAY" community's total-lack of ethical standards -while challenging the false "morality" of the religious reicht - all with full-bodied arguments taken from an extensive analysis of the scientific method about human sexuality and even the very Scriptures themselves (in order to confront religious hypocrites & ignoramuses)! GENDER ceased to be the dividing issue. The distinction became perilous actions versus benign - with a complete rejection of dangerous, gender-bending actions like AnalSex (that turn a man into a poor proxy for a woman). G0YS doesn't require a man to embrace a "feminine-side" ; --not in form nor function!
And just as predicted at the beginning of the g0ys movement, --the amBIsexuals are the most numerous among us! Men who love women & love men are: +53% of the population! With the +10% of the "solely same-sex attracted" male-crowd added in, --the figure of +63% almost perfectly matches the expected statistical SD curve! G0YS are the MAJORITY, -not the minority! The Greeks knew this 30 centuries ago! Our numbers simply confirm their ancient understanding! Once you understand this, --it will absolutely change your view of masculinity, sexuality & friendship!
And it's important to know these things because human nature does not change and puberty is still changing young guys into men who love women/&men. It's vital to know that the flaming effeminate fruitcakes with dildos proudly stuffed up their arses have NEVER represented what it is to be a man (in general) nor a man who loves other guys. Only a culture of self-debasing fools would adopt the model of prison-rape as their "defining sexual pinnacle". That's GAY. And that's NOT who g0ys are.
And as a g0y, I know where the common-sense lines are drawn between affectionate vs. debasing behavior. As a g0y I know that friendship can be balls-deep in affection without anyone being used as a bitch-bottom. I know as a certainty that there is no shame in sharing a naked embrace in affectionate tendering acceptance all night in a bed with a buddy whom I love & admire. And as a g0y I know that it's imbalanced to seek sexual fulfillment outside of the goal of genuine friendship.
As a g0y, -I know that's it's a MAJORITY experience to find a few buddies worth loving from balls to brows; -And as a g0y, -I know that "Love works no ill", -& that most people have never thought these issues through in order to separate the genuine moral posturing of the reality of same-sex affections, -away from the amoral mythos created by a vocal minority of gender-bending, arse-plowing sociopaths.
And that fact is tragic, -because IF you're a guy who happens to love guys/too, And you've been deceived into believing that there is something "terrible" about same-sex affection, --you're on a track that will try to depress you, drive you nuts & then kill you. It will make you more & more neurotic as you slowly fall apart as a person on your quest to "not feel". G0YS has helped many men to pull themselves together as they realize the truth of these things and learn to accept themselves.
There are people who browse our sites who have been damaged in these ways and it is extremely tragic. Some are living on the "DL" while they hypocritically denounce all aspects of "homoe-sek-shoe-ality" from the sidelines & pews -w. all sorts of internal conflict & contradictions. Others have written to us with stories of a youth (even entire lives) wasted under the weight of lies. Some have inflicted injury to self & others, - & some have spent time in mental institutions; -- Not because of their feelings, --but because of the psychological injury trying to turn them off, deny them or change their direction. Some report that even after a lifetime of being alone & depressed in order to appease their families, friends & others - that they reach middle age & find themselves alone, depressed & rejected anyhow. G0YS can give all of these a sense of peace, in-depth understanding of the issues & a purpose for the future. G0YS of faith indicate that they feel as a great weight has been taken off them & their view of the future hope extends into eternity. It is a massive difference in perspective. It's very important that men figure out that male affection between men is normal.
Because these feelings will never change nor go away. Why should they? There is nothing inherently wrong with them. And that fact is the hardest for some men to come to terms with -especially guys who have been shown how to MISREAD the Scriptures (taken far out of context). The irony is that usually --those very same Scriptures are the best source of defense when examined in the context of their major themes.
And once guys figure these things out -- they usually discover that the biggest hurdle to fulfilling relationships is each -his own personality, prejudices & predispositions. Guys are testosterone-heavy, --which means that friendships need to be able to weather the storms of each guy's emotions as they vent; -- while each needs to take care not to be a jerk nor put self-interests above civility. The principles are common-sense. The application is less of a science & more of an art; -And guys often tend to use force in excess & then smooth out the dents later on. Patience, forgiveness & preparation for conflict are good tools to be skilled with. "A soft answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up a dispute." - Solomon
You don't need to bark back & when you do it should be with a smile underneath. The irony is that the primary philosophical approaches to building relationships taught in the Scriptures have been of great benefit when dealing with the very closest friends -especially the guys I've been physical with in a g0y context. And because so many g0ys are am"BI"sexual, -building these close friendships with other g0ys leads to an "extended family effect" --because guys who do have families know that the tone of respect that prevails in your friendship is how you see his family, too: Respectfully.
It almost seems self-evident, --but when you have a shared empathy with another guy, -the things he values take on value for you --because empathy relays the importance of those dimensions of his life. Therefore, -a guy who loves another guy will also act as the proverbial "safety net" in adversity because helping protect what his friend values is indirectly protecting his friend. Love will do a superior job - gratis, --for support that money could only begin to pay for in compromise.
Love works no ill toward his neighbor - therefore love fulfills the royal law found in Scripture. - Bible