Ground ZER0 in the "UNgay" Paradigm Shift!

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Exceptions!
If you're simply out for a quick "score", then this page (& probably entire men's movement) is not for you.  If you're a flaming queen, then this page is not for you.  If you are "out" as "gAy" then this page is probably not for you.  However, if you have got some real depth of feeling towards some of your buds that you've been keeping locked inside ... then you should consider taking the relationships further.  Because, there's nothing else like the shared mutual intimacy of clicking on a primal level with another dude.  Done right, the worse that can happen is you'll build a relationship so strong that these guys will be closer than family.



So Busted (but few believe it anyhow)!

In the movie, "Latter Days", -there is a scene on the basketball court where one of the main characters says that he found out that the jocks at school were 'doing it' -but only with each other. That line is one of the most profound in the movie because it is so true! However, the question remains begging "Why do the jocks keep this level of M2M interaction between themselves?". 
The answer is because -when masculine guys interact with this level of intimacy between themselves, --it almost always conforms to 'g0y ideals'.  No gender-bending, no 'camp' behavior and no AnalSex!  No shame in being affectionate with another guy as long as nobody is expected to play the role of a woman (women play the role of women quite nicely).  And because the "gay" community doesn't recognize gender-appropriate-boundaries (characteristics & behaviors predominantly influenced by testosterone), -jocks don't respect the "gay" community, -but instead: lock it out.  Gays want to associate M2M affection with transgendered behavior (Hence gay-group labels like: 'GLIT'). 
G0YS know that making such a generic association is a LIE and offensive to any man with a sense of masculine respect & an active brain.  


BACKFIRES?

Do these things ever "go south".  Yeah (& it's not pretty).   Rush too quickly with a guy who isn't ready, or isn't a potential g0y (Kinsey-0's with extreme phobia issues), & you could be labeled a 'queer', or beat up, etc.  Remember this phrase: "JUST JOKING AROUND..."; & get prepared to use it a lot.  Said with a grin, it can be disarming. That way, you can recover if you say/do something the other dude isn't prepared to hear yet or acknowledge that he agrees with.
Homophobia is not the fear of intimacy with other guys.  It's the fear of being labeled an "
arse-pounder" & being stripped of your masculine reputation (& ultimately your respect).  

The irony is that with the right attitude, --you can DO things that you could NEVER simply talk about doing without being labeled a "fag". On the football team, -there was a guy named Jeff who everyone thought was a "joker" because in the shower he'd pull pranks like walking up to a buddy & taking his buddy's cock in his hand.  Guys would laugh, shoulder-punch & throw "fag" slurs, --but the irony was that nobody actually thought that Jeff was "gay" because he had such a prankster attitude,  that was clearly visible through his body language, - & he dated cheerleaders.  (Jeff was a mid-Kinsey g0y. I know ;)  He used extreme irony as a cover to send extremely strong g0y signals.  When a guy would call him a "fag", --he'd often volley back with the reply, "Oh, you wish!".  What Jeff NEVER DID was speak in such a way as to associate himself with the "GAY" crowd in an empathetic way.  In health class, he did make a comment once. "Hey, I'm comfortable with my sexuality. But when I go on camping trips with a friend, --nobody is getting anything shoved up his arse."  And with that raw, 100% true statement, --he had effectively rejected & locked out the "gays" (who were all about loudly-"tolerating" the arse-fukk), -while framing his relationships with his friends as friendly posturing & even pranks all done within certain limits of moral behavior.  Jeff knew by instinct that he couldn't discuss the intimacy he had with other guys because the GAYS want to turn the simple description of an affectionate arm around a buddy's back -- into a suggestion that the same arm may possibly make it up a guy's arse.  Jeff knew that "GAYS" want to take ALL NOTIONS of M2M affection and by implication, dip them all into the gay-sewer of defecation, disrespect, & disease. Jeff knew that as soon as you try to describe M2M intimacy in words -- that the sprectre of "GAYDOM" hammered repeatedly into society's collective, -- will try to usurp the very nature of the relationship with imagery forged in decadence. Actions ... not words. That's the g0y process.  Build trust first with your actions, & educate after things get sexual.    

0ne e-mail recently came from a g0y who began to get intimate with his friend "Lars" in high school.  Lars ended up moving away & years later, got married without knowing the difference between "gAy" vs. "g0y".  Shortly after his marriage, Lars began to make assertions about his former "friend" (coerced by a new found relationship with religious fundamentalism) about prior so-called sexual 'improprieties'.  What was actually going on was that 'religion' was projecting guilt onto Lars' having been "close physically" with another guy; -- So, he was hiding the entirety of his sexual nature behind his wife & projecting a label of "heterosexuality" while claiming to be a 'former victim of gay seduction' (it's fear-driven hypocrisy at it's zenith).  The g0y who wrote added that the relationship hadn't progressed to mutual orgasm -- but he'd been with Lars plenty of times where his horse-cock got hard as a rock.  He concluded with this suggestion: If you're with another dude & he is sexually turned on, and each of you are aware that arousal has become a focus of your activity; -- the best thing you can do for the safety of the relationship is to employ a means to get him to ejaculate.  Then deal with the feelings afterward in an atmosphere of light-heartedness & education about g0ys.  Once the guy splooges, there's no denying for him the fact that he was turned on by the situation too.  Only a fool would yell "fag" with 'his cumm on your belly'.  He came; We saw; I educated.


INGRESS!

Make friends & hook up w. guys while playing a game that makes you get out & sight-see (while tackling the alien portal problem)!  
This game is growing rapidly & is addictive.  
Plenty of opportunities exist to make friends, visit new places & make the world a better place.  
You'll need a smart-phone (you can often get one for under $50 on eBay).

I suggest strongly that if you're g0y -- to join the RESISTANCE.

Visit the Website





So ... Got your eye on a Friend...

But he
's
"STRAIGHT"?

("Straight"...Oh, really?)

 

 

G0YDAR

"STRAIGHT" is < 40% true!
G0YDAR helps you discover ...

A few years ago, I was watching a special on video about sharks.  In this documentary, they were testing a shark defense suit.  The suit didn't interest me much.  What did, - was an fascinating dynamic that was set up between the diver (fearless of the sharks because he was in a protective suit), & the sharks themselves.  The diver was standing on the bottom & in his arms was a fully grown shark.  The divers hands were clad in the shark suit which was metal 'chain-links" and as he held the shark (a species known to be very aggressive), he was using his hands to lightly scratch all over it's body.  Visualize this: A man holding a shark -- bigger than he was, - known to be dangerous as he cuddled up with it like a big dog -- gently caressing & scratching it all over.  After 30 seconds or so, the diver simply pointed the shark in the direction he wanted it to go & gave it a push in that direction & away it would go.  Then, another shark would swim over to him & he'd repeat the process with that one!  As the camera pulled away, it revealed an entire school of "man eaters" who were taking turns getting body rubs from this diver!   Now, what the documentary didn't show was the posturing the diver had to set up - to get his "shark circle" going.  There is no doubt it took some preparation beforehand & the documentary only showed the end result.  In this article, I'm going to point out a strategy to figure out if that STR8-Guy is really a "G0Y" in deep cover.  You'll need a "shark suit" too.  It's called "straightforward friendship mannerisms", interwoven with some patience.

It rang true:
Watching the diver with the sharks struck several chords of truth.  Let me point out some parallels: First, the sharks are unaware that they're "ferocious looking".  They're use to seeing sharks.  They don't realize how intimidating they appear.  They're not trying to be intimidating; -- rather they're just being themselves.  Likewise, that dude who makes your heart beat fast, you palms sweat & your mouth dry -- has no idea he has that effect on you.  He's not trying to be intimidating; -- rather he's just being himself.  Like the sharks, he lives inside his body & does not see himself like others see him.  Being kind to the sharks such as scratching their bellies gives them a sense of trust.  To do that though, the diver needs to get over the intimidation factor.  He uses the shark suit to do that.  You only need knowledge ... this knowledge, & the desire to make friends.  You see, that so-called "STUD" guy who makes your hormones flow has all the basic needs & insecurities that are common to man.  Unlike a shark, there are many ways to "scratch his belly" -- & the majority being verbal in nature.  You need to look past his surface & realize that the projection of his body is NOT who he "is".  He is an "ego", a mind within that body and like I've said ... he does not realize the intensity of his appearance because it does not affect HIM that way.  He may be aware that he is a good look'n dude, but he doesn't know exactly how that affects others or even if everybody thinks he's good look'n. 
If he works out, he's sending a double message: 1) He wants to feel more confident. 2) He wants YOU to make him feel better about himself. 
Truth #1: You know that you want people to like you.  Realize that this is a UNIVERSAL NEED.  The "stud" has all the needs, hang-ups & insecurities that are common to man.  Present yourself as confident & friendly & he'll be slightly intimidated by you. 
NO FEAR.  You have what he needs -- in the power of your speech.  Assuming you're in a position to strike up a conversation (a gym is a great place), take note of a part of his body or some feature about him you like (maybe his car) -- (use your mind).  Then, point-blank: make a compliment & ask a question about whatever it is you found impressive at the same time.  This is a double pronged ego-stroke.  The compliment is actually your approval of him in his eyes.  The question is actually a statement telling him that you feel his opinion is important.  Hello Mr. Shark-Dude:  I was noticing you have really great shark skin.  How do you keep it so barnacle free?  - OR -  Hey bro: I noticed you have great definition in you chest. Do you have a special routine for that or is it just natural?  Be sincere.  Don't use flattery ... you gotta find something you like - before you open your mouth about it.  NO FEAR ... be friendly.  Remember, he doesn't know his appearance puts butterflies in your gut.  Despite his looks, he's a guy on the inside who very much wants to be loved & respected, And he's never sure how the next guy is gonna see him.  This is why your well thought complimenting inquiry will be like the first time a shark feels the hand of the suited diver (Hey...that felt really good.  Think I'll hang around...)

Build TRUST:
Trust takes time to build. And it takes time. Did I mention that time is a factor? Rather than see the dude as a short term conquest (which would be very un-g0y of you), -- see him as a long term friendship-goal that you would like to progress to extreme intimacy at some point along the journey.  The great thing about this posturing is that you can build just as many of these friendships at a time as you want.  Now you're "swimming with the sharks"! 
Some G0Y friendships of mine took a couple of years to "mature" to 'nakedness'.  Other's occurred faster.  We're all great friends still & none of them know about the details of other's relationship with me.  That's part of being 'g0y' -- as opposed to "gAy".   Total discretion is the rule.  It's not homophobic.  We just don't want to be seen as
, which IS the social stereotype about "gay" -- make no mistake
G0YS are generally, never "out", & if someone calls you 'gay', - get ready to have an altercation (because you're N0T gAy).  I have a friend who spent some time in prison.  Anyone who calls him "gay", "fag" or "bitch" is asking to visit the emergency room because he KNOWS that those labels imply
.  When used as a slur, g0ys know those terms mean a person who is morally loose, & an .  The "gay" community thinks little of those terms.  Such  ignorance & apathy is extremely self-deprecating.  Making it clear that you take offense to being labeled with those terms will also give a sense of reassurance to any "STRAIGHT acting guy" you happen to be culturing a relationship with.  You don't have to be mean, cruel or insulting -- simply FIRM that "Where you're from, the kind of language that implies men treating men as women (or being treated as ) is an offensive remark that often provokes an appropriate response.".  Said matter-of-factly in an attitude of reconciliation usually makes your point & often generates an apology from whoever made the remark.  You may also want to tag on a comment like: "I have an ethical problem with & I take offense at the label.".   Again, no need to overreact; -- Keep the tone as friendly as you can without seeming a push-over.  Men like their friends to have 'a pair' ... or in other words: Men feel good as the acceptable company of other men who have a sense of self esteem.  Think about it.  If you don't tolerate foolishness, but they are your friends, then they get the message that you don't consider them fools.  Psychology.  The phrase, "Hey, I love my friends, - but I have no desire to play in anyone's ass.", or replies to that effect usually set the right tone.
Once you have established a conversation, there are some basics you need to keep in mind.  First, the other dudes opinion matters to you.  Don't debate; ... Ask questions.  Also realize that you may need to see the guy several times before you begin to feel more at ease with the other.  Remember, to him, he's trying to make a good impression too & there will be some tension ... it's natural.  Be friendly & appreciative of him.  If you have friends nearby, introduce him to them & make some comment that will establish him as an important person in their minds & that he will know that you respect him.  Over time, you can invite him to hang out, party & chill.  Show interest in him.  That's not difficult...because most people are interesting... 

Real-Life Example:
I have a friend named Rod who races power boats.  I met him at the beach while doing a volleyball game with some friends.  Rod is a total 'hottie' with a 'lady-slayer reputation'  (one of my friends at the beach that day knew him too).  We got talking about boats, his boat ... races ... & I asked to see any pictures or videos of his races that he had.  See how I kept it 'all about him'?  Over an hour, we ended up breaking the ice & at the days end, we were as good as friends as a single day could make.  Over the next few months, we went boating, biking & occasionally clubbing together (I was the DD).  I took some great video of him & his boat in a few races & edited several races to video.  During the same time period, we worked out together some & got comfortable with 'pats on the back' & being close doing the things we did.  One of the things I did was make sure that any reasonable opportunity to touch him in a natural way was taken advantage of. 
Going to the beach, I'd sunscreen him & opportunity opened itself up about the 2nd week I knew him. 
Rod could barefoot around all day, but something about the shape on his feet caused shoes to hurt him if he was in them for a long time.  The first time I became aware of this was shortly after showing up at his place after he'd got off work.  He'd taken a shower & was sitting on a chair with them elevated.  I asked him if he was planning on going out & he said he would, but his feet were hurting too much to dance it up.  I asked him some questions & had him stand up and take a few steps on the carpet so I could watch his movement.  After he laid back on the sofa, I sat down at his feet & picking each foot up & casually putting pressure on various places I asked him where the pain was concentrated.  After playing 20 questions, I suggested that he see a podiatrist I knew & maybe fitted for an insert (orthodic) or shoe mod.  While I made my observations & suggestions, I casually shifted into a deep pressure, foot massage.  It's important that you know a few things.  First off, my goal from the first time about hearing about his sore feet was tactical: To posture our conversation so I could get my massagers onto them <link>
Because: When massaged, the feet (& often hands) cause the brain to release a very large amount of neurochemicals called endorphins.  In the concentration released, they act like drugs.  This effect isn't to be underestimated.  The presence of serotonin & oxytocin  combine -& send a powerful -- nonverbal message strong enough to even convince sharks to let a creature of another species hold them, & rub all over their body (for example).  It's a powerful message that says "you can trust me to make you feel better & not harm you".  Of course, touch causes the release of these chemicals - something as simple as a handshake starts the reaction. Serotonin is what makes the event feel "good" & oxytocin is what connects the event you.  Oxytocin binds to centers of the brain that connect your presence to feelings of acceptance & trust.  It literally adds another dimension to your friendship & acts like a chemical anchor.  Of course -- because these are feelings generated & non verbal announcements, the effect on your buddy becomes integrated into his personality to where he sees you & he instantly feels a "connection". 
Building the oxytocin bridge can happen quickly -- but building depth can take years.  This is why the best g0y relationships begin as friendships & go deeper over time.  Done with self control & respect over time -- the other guy will love you on a level that also makes the friendship very deep, intimate & usually -- these emotions are aired privately because of the nakedness of self disclosure.  Of course, to start the journey -- remember that the feet release the gateway drugs for seducing - even thugs!    
See, in the human brain, the centers for sexual pleasure are located very near the centers that light up with a foot massage.  That's right, giving a good foot rubdown is second only to rubb'n on the guys nads!  It may look half-a-body away, but in the head -- feet, foreskin & foreplay are side by side in the brain!  The chemical messengers will spread so fast that the result will literally be like if you drugged him.  Inhibitions will drop; & once you have given his feet a good rubb'n, you'll be able to expand the coverage of the massage because he will have gotten 'the chemical message'.   Once at this level, your relationship can become deeper than his other male-bonding relationships because you share the intimacy of touch & the unspoken message of acceptance it delivers.  It is the most powerful form of intimate communication.  Keep in mind that wrestling & rough-housing make great precursors to massage -- as you both get "tired" from sparring - just begin rubb'n on him.  Stay relaxed & casual & chances are - he will too.


EDITORIAL CONTRIBUTION: About the 3rd month into being friends, Rod & I were planning on going to a club on Saturday night.  While sitting at his kitchen table, before we left, - Rod reached over & took my hand in his, -- & with no more than (3) beers in him, he said "I really love ya man".  I told him the feeling was mutual.  Now, get this: The alcohol had definitely lowered his inhibitions. In 70% of men polled about unplanned same-gender intimate encounters, alcohol was a contributing factor. It certainly was in this case, -but the closeness of our friendship that had evolved over the last few months sent a loud message to him that, at least to me, he was a very important person & totally accepted (At that point in our friendship, it was common to wrestle with each other & the guy who got pinned usually ended up getting tickled into hysterics.  I thought nothing of grabbing him by the legs as he'd walk by & pull him onto the sofa where I'd light wrestle him until the massage I applied at the same time subdued his thrashing.)
When we came back that evening from the club, & while standing in the living room, Rod stepped up to me, - wrapped both arms around me & let me know again that he loved me  (This -- coming out of a self-professed, "STR8", lady-swooning, studmuffin).  If you're not ready for that, it might freak you out ... so I'm telling you, BE READY FOR ITG0YS
are all around us.  My response to Rod was to hug him back & step in closer so we were hugging pec2pec, balls2balls.  He was drunk (Did I mention that in 70% of same-gender intimate encounters that alcohol plays a factor by lowering a guy's/g0ys inhibitions?) ...  I was stone-sober (the DD).  I decided to stand there cuddl'n & see where he wanted this to go.  Rod had his head buried against my neck & every 10-15 seconds, he'd reposition his hands on my back  & hug me tight. See, Rod didn't know how to articulate what he was feeling.  Rod was "STR8", (notice the quotes"") but he was standing in his living room with a guy in his embrace (me).  Crotch to crotch with him, I could feel him get hard pretty fast.  I told him, "You're drunk dude ... lemme get you to your (bed)room,", - & so I LOCKED THE FRONT DOOR & then we walked to his bedroom arm in arm with him leaning against me.  He sat on the side of the bed looking like he wanted to say something, but couldn't find the words (The "STR8 guy" who wants to get naked with you will not usually be able to say what he's feeling because it sounds "gAy").   I just smiled & helped him get his shoes/socks off, then shirt.  Pulling back the bed covers, I shut the light off & told him to lay back, as I stripped his pants off.  He was freeball'n & had a semi.  Read the signs.
I asked if he wanted me to stay & keep an eye on things (on account of him being a 'hopeless lush ;-).  He said yeah, so I stripped to the raw (because he was in the raw) & slid into bed beside him & pulled the covers over us.  I put my arm around him -- under his torso & pulled him up against me.  Rod told me he never had another friend like me & just wanted to be with me. 
You have to listen.
  The phrase "be with" means "cuddly, close, intimate, & more...".  The relationship with another G0Y is sometimes like a slow dance.  Because of the sensitive nature of being intimate with another dude, the courtship is taken in cautiously respecting steps & language is never used to suggest it's anything like a male/female relationship.  My response to Rod was to tell him that I really enjoyed being with him too & pulling him tighter in my hug.  Rod put his head on my chest & wrapped an arm & a leg over/around me.  We hugged like that for about 30 seconds & then I moved the hand that was already under him down to his hip & lifted him so he was on top of me, -- & then & helped him shift around so we were pec2pec, rod2rod.  This position is a favorite among
G0YS because you have full body contact with the other dude & get to feel all of his responses & him yours.  The focus isn't on your cock, but on the responses of the other dude (breathing, vocalizations, slamming heart-beat & the occasional twitches & thRobs emitted by his cock pressing against yours).   The most erotic & powerful sexual responses are those that happen without  anyone trying to force them to them happen.  After all, your dick knows what to do & the two of them kissing up against each other soon engage in their own form of communication that takes both guys along for the slow ride.  Slow & sensual; --- the total opposite of what is portrayed in most gAy porn where one guys uses the Ass of the other like a man-sized masturbation tool (how shallow is that)!  G0YS know that the orgasm that happens while rod2rod / face2face (called FROT or FR0T) often happens without anyone having to "try".  All that skin on skin becomes a body-wide sensory extension of your penis; -- & all the hairs on the 2 dudes' bodies scratch, tickle & feedback on each other.  Also, the pressure caused by the weight of one guy as he lays pec to pec on his buddy activates an entire set of sensory nerves that release a chemical cocktail (A man has nipples on his chest for a reason. They translate pressure into oxytocin). This IS the reason why people hug (Are we learning yet)! This is also why FR0T generated orgasms are so satisfying & intensely bonding.  It's a body-wide sensation, -not merely a focus at site of the grand-mauling set of dicks. The unspoken message to each guy from the other is: "YOU get me off; - not just your cock".  You don't get more honest & loving with another dude than to lose control & cumm like a stallion while in his embrace.  It's the most primal & honest compliment I can imagine....saying love, trust & acceptance all at the same time - especially if you watch the dudes expression as his d!ck pumps out his pent up tension into a pool of deep satisfaction.  Rod's expression takes on an incredibly sexy mix that looks like surprise, intensity & joy all combined - with an arched-neck, clenched-tooth-smile & tenseness in his brow -- that relaxes into bliss & relief as he nears the end of his volley with each little post orgasmic cock-twitch echoing on his face as a little terseness in his relaxing expression (yummm-buddy). 
Once he was on top of me, his cuddling turned into slow face rubbing (shadow on shadow) & then gentle kisses.  We held hands with out-stretched arms & rubbed feet & legs -- all very slowly, gently.   Every time he'd have a pre-orgasm-twitch it would stiffen his body for a moment. Finally he began to groan and reflexively began to more firmly grind his pelvis against mine - out of control with the need to ejaculate.  Then he just stiffened, groaned & emptied his load together with mine as his ass muscles crawled around beneath my hands & his hard-body writhed slowly on top of me robbing him of his composure as he came in deep, throaty moaning-pleasured cumm-shots.  Eventually we relaxed ('melted' sounds right) into each other & fell asleep still cuddling.  Consider it.  No condoms, no lube, no worry about disease (no penetration).  All natural, nothing artificial - not even the stimulation preceding orgasm needed 'staging'.  Furthermore, each guy never relinquished being a guy -- (totally equal).  No tops.  No bottoms.  Just honest male2male, naval2naval passion so intense that it didn't need any help at all to force a set of dicks to erupt a gusher. That's raw, male, luv'n romance at it's climax ... It's pure 'G0Y'.  I woke up twice more over the course of the night; - & because he was still on top of me - I worked his reflexes into arousal until the intensity awoke him & he pleasured out each climax with appreciative groans & soft ecstatic whimpers of satisfaction as his penis surrendered its payload beside mine.
The next day, I got up an hour before Rod & made us lunch.  He was up at noon & claimed not to remember the previous night.  I wasn't gonna push; & told him hanging out was awesome & hoped it would happen again.  "Again" took 7 days; & the next time we talked about the experience the day after. He was uneasy at first -- all concerned about rumors of "queer'dom".   I explained the difference between G0Y vs. gAy; & how he didn't need to worry that he might be turning into an "effeminate milksop".  It took some time & showed him a few sites on the Internet like this one; -- & even showed him the relationship in the Bible between King David & Prince Jonathan (a couple of Hebrew G0YS - [Yes, I see the linguistic oxymoron, but nonetheless, the relationship's nature is obvious when you don't let someone reinterpret it for you])!  Basically, I had to educate the prejudices of society out of Rod as I do with anyone who'll listen.  See, he still loves to bed women -- [although he's been in a LTR with one for quite a while now].  I moved & don't see him as much any more, but when we get together we have a tendency to 'cuddle till we cumm'.  We treat each other as extended family w. lots of love, & if Rod ever needed a hand, I'd put my life on hold to help him.  We respect each other's lives & don't make demands on 'who does what with who'.  G0Y relationships are different than M/F relationships & we don't try to confuse the (2) -- as does the 'gAy' community.  The love is no less intense, -- but it's just different - & we can accept that.  He knows he's loved & I know he loves me too.  Love in spite of problems & imperfections?  What could be stronger than that!
(NOTE: In late 2012, Rod died of a hidden, congenital heart-defect.  It caught everyone off-guard including his doctors. It was like hearing about an athlete who drops dead on the field. Everybody was simply shocked.  I'll miss Rod beyond words.  Have you expressed to your buds how much you love & care about them?)  


G0Y Levels:
Remember that Kinsey-Scale? Well, depending "where" on the scale a guy falls, -will also determine the type of physical bonding he's likely to be open to.  Most guys are bisexual to some degree.

ATTRACTION is a huge factor, but REPULSION plays a large role too.  See, lots of people who are attracted to one gender are repulsed by the notion of being with the other in a sexual sense.  These are most often the people who believe that a person is either "STRAIGHT-OR-GAY"  They cannot imagine how a person who loves gender "X" could also love gender "Y".  Then there are the guys who may not be heavily attracted to one gender -but not repulsed by the possibility of an intimate encounter with the right person of that gender, anyway.  These are the guys who wouldn't seek to get intimate with another guy, --but might be willing to let the other guy get intimate with him if the situation was right.  So, guys who claim to be "straight" may well be --in the fact that they are strongly attracted to women.  BUT (and this point is huge): Some of those same guys are not opposed to being treated to a complimentary orgasm by another guy under the right conditions (they're not repulsed by the notion of being tendered on by the same gender).  Men generally have different levels of attraction & repulsion.  These (2) dynamics usually act together to determine a guy's sexual behavior and whether he's an active aggressor or merely a willing recipient of various types of affection.

Keep in mind that these are rules of thumb & that guys are all unique with personal spikes & dips in their intimate interests. G0YS low on the scale (-having a predominant attraction to females) are usually less likely to accept the same type of intimacy with other men.  Don't expect these guys to want to tongue-wrestle. Those Guys (low on the Kinsey scale) are much more likely to accept a wrestling/massage approach to intimacy with humorous crotch-grabbing turning into incidental erections & then JO or fellatio. The TRUST factor needs to be extremely high & usually this happens with friendships that have been built over a long time period (often years).  Also, -guys low on the scale don't usually initiate such contact, other than drop hints to get a massage (after you've already crossed that bridge).  They may initiate wrestling (because they've learned it leads to massage more often than not). AND - If these guys use alcohol recreationally - then remember that the diminished inhibitions resulting from it will increase the chances of an intimate encounter by a whopping +70%!  After you've achieved the point where a best-bud trusts you to satiate his balls, -it's not uncommon for your bud to nonverbally seek the sort of situation where that happens more often. If he wants to drink until he's buzzed or drunk around you (especially if alcohol helped him into the sack with you previously) then this is a strong signal. Some guys need to be able to "blame it on the booze".   When affectionate contact is done light-heartedly with lots of respect -- it builds a deeper, intimate friendship that is raw-male in it's approach. Guys low on kinsey's scale rarely engage in kissing beyond the friendly-forehead-peck, etc. Their acceptance of a trusted bud between the sheets is generally a realization that a hand (etc.) other than their own always feels waaaay better on the cock when needing to empty pent up sexual tension; - & that their buddy's discretion is the very definition of trust.  Such guys are cautiously open about getting fellatio (a BJ) -but generally won't be interested in reciprocating the "favor". They enjoy being pleasured -only by an extremely well trusted buddy, -but generally don't choose to be the one who takes the initiative to do the pleasuring because they don't find dicks particularly attractive (maybe even the reverse).  They tend to deeply appreciate their best bud's willingness to "do the deed" for them --even though they don't share the same enthusiasm about returning the favor.  NEVER try to coerce a guy low on Kinsey's scale to do back to you what you do to him! He's not interested in having a dick in his mouth & if you push the matter - he'll push you away.  It's simply who they are; -And there are lots of guys who are at that point (Kinsey 1-2's). Also, making it clear that you're absolutely opposed to the act of the ass-fuck because "You'd Never Bitch a Bro" creates a psychological-assurance that this encounter is not a "gay thing".  By openly rejecting AnalSex, you disconnect yourself from the predominant "Gay Stereotype" and by extension - you disconnect your buddy from it -even while being treated to an orgasm by you.  Let your Bro know that "THIS is what puts the BEST in BEST-FRIENDS without either guy being turned into a Bitch". 
G0YS who are higher up on Kinsey's scale tend to respond quicker to physical contact & are generally more open to the more mutual expressions of affection like caresses & deeper forms of physical contact. The higher ranges 2+ on Kinsey's scale is a transitory area where guys' sexual inclinations increase to enjoy pleasuring the male body as much as being pleasured.  The exchange generally tends to be more mutual: 69'n & so forth -probably the act that has Kinsey-3+ written all over it.  Loving one of these guys is generally more rewarding in the long term because they can love you back in the same manner.
  Also, some guys begin to 'slide' on the location on Kinsey's scale once they open up to the affection & pleasures of physical intimacy with a buddy, -or re-evaluate what they think is sensual based on their experience.   One g0y - a Kinsey-6, -wrote & told how he'd always been interested in the 'big picture' -so full body contact &
frot had been his focus --until one day he saw a video of a guy getting blown -& the recipient's reaction to it. After trying it on a long time frot-buddy, -the BJ became part of his intimacy-toolbox (but only if he knew a guy well). That level of intimacy demands TRUST -because LOVE WORKS NO ILL and no buddy worth his balls would put another guy in danger of disease simply in order to 'get off'. Love/Friendship ALWAYS considers the other guy physically & emotionally.
Lots of guys open up to an easier-going mindset about physical contact with another buddy when they realize that all the voices society uses to chant the lie that male/male intimacy is somehow shameful --are all full of bullsh!t. In other words: Guys who are victims of the lie are paranoid that people might suggest that they have intimate male/male friendships. If suggested, -they'll deny it as if it's a mortal sin.  Guy's who have been freed from society's lying commentary on such relationships generally blow-off such insinuations with a "Do I Give a Fukk!" attitude (at least as far as caring what other peoples opinions are in such matters). They know that the hug, hand-shake & hand-job are all merely skin on skin contact with the only difference being where the touch is applied; -vs. the messages society tries to use to control people by trying to induce counterfeit 'shame'.  Free minds know that friendships are ultimately about respect, trust & love; -And that the term "Best" in "Best-Friends" has always had an implied sexual connotation!  Truly free guys know that it's fuck'd up if they're more comfortable with the contact of a favorite pet than they are w. the respectful affections of their best bud/s!


In Summary:
Lots of G0YS have friends that we wish were more intimate.  If it's gonna happen, you need to show the initiative & be patient as the relationship deepens.   The fact is, that most guys are g0ys (& I say that meaning that they copulate with women & know a few guys they'd like to cuddle-till-they-cumm with), but not all g0ys are attracted to women at all.  Levels of attraction to other guys varies greatly depending on a number of dimensions. There are some factors that come into play with this. One is the "close buddy factor". Another can be the "emotional support" factor. The next is the "trust" factor and finally the last is the inhibition factor (that all the others influence). 

Substances like alcohol can also influence inhibitions which is the reason many guys drink when they go out. That door swings both ways<pun>; -& lots of guys do things when they're intoxicated that they want to do but simply can't while sober (usually do to self-confidence issues).  The ideal relationships are built on sobriety - but if your buddy chooses to get hammered & then gets friendlier than usual; - I'd suggest you fast-track the process & be the best friend he could have when he sobers up (taking the time to explain to him what "g0y" is all about & why it's not a "gAy" thing).   Whether he was sober or sloshed, -every one of my g0y relationships started out as a friendship with a so-called "str8" guy!  This has led me to believe that "Kinsey-0" men are a true minority & statistical analysis continues to lean toward that conclusion.  

Having said that, let me highlight the primary INHIBITION FACTOR. Most men -- see the very act of PENETRATION as being the role of a Woman. This is because a woman is DESIGNED to be penetrated because of her genital-physiology. Therefore, these same men see *anyone* who would engage in penetrating a man to be a potential THREAT to a man's sense of masculinity (I.E: That 'fag' wants to phuck me up the arse -- & hence use me sexually as one would a woman). Ass-Fuckers are dangerous & do not ever deserve your trust! G0YS disarm any hint of such threats; -& what fills in the gap is extended TRUST.

Suggestions for removing such "threats":
The fastest, most efficient way to establish the nature of your sexual AVERSIONS is to take early opportunities to sleight any talk of ass-sex.  When in conversation, the news - wherever you hear it, swing negative on the subject in a way that your peers know that the very thought of it you find reprehensible.  You don't have to tie the issue with orientation - because social stereotypes about the "gay male community" will do that for you.  In other words: When society at large hears you bash AnalSex as a "disgusting, sick-o, perverse, etc." act; -It will generally presume that you are not gAy-friendly. (Which is fine - being a g0y).  Other comments that have a lot of power are along the lines of, "I love my friends too, but I don't want to play in anyone's ass...".  Or, "There's something wrong with a group of people who's main focus in their relationships is to get into somebody's arsehole; - Disgusting!".  You won't need to say "gay-him" or "homo-anyone". Society's biases (fueled by the gay-male community itself) will presume the connection between hating anal-fetish & not being "gAy friendly".  Meanwhile -- guys who are nearby will immediately know that you're absolutely not a "closet ass-pounder".  This assurance is a big-deal when you find yourself in the position of cuddling with (& rubb'n on) another dude.  He'll relax knowing you're not scoping his ass ... & if he's g0y, he'll probably get turned on faster being in the warm presence of a guy with a clearly defined, masculine moral center.  Meanwhile, anal-permissive-gay-guys who are scoping ass will take your comments personally - even though you haven't mentioned "orientation" at all! The technique is called "Guilting by ASSociation" & ass-fuckers have earned every scathing comment thrown at them! Some guilt would do them well!

As trust forms the basis of relationships - inhibitions fall. As inhibitions fall, intimacy rises. The handshake evolves to a hug that evolves to wrestling, which evolves to mutual respect & admiration of the other -- & the disarming of false pride (someone wins a wrestling match, & someone loses, -- but both guys stay friends). Engaging in physical contact like friendly wrestling opens possibilities for more intimacy -- usually sustained contact such as massage.
Contact, especially massage, triggers endorphin release such as serotonin & oxytocin. These natural drugs imprint on the brain of the guy & escalate the trust factor. Obviously, the person everyone trusts the most, is themselves. What level of intimacy does a person have with themselves at the core of their being? Sexual (Masturbation is someone of the same gender you intimately trust being very intimate with you because you know they'd never hurt you & it is gonna feel good).  I can't tell you the number of times a friendship with a so-called 'str8 dude' escalated the trust factor & got to the point where the guy became receptive to genital stimulation. Why? Because through relationship building, closeness progressed to the point where massage progressed to removal of shirt, pants & socks, etc.  Once massage becomes a regular dimension of your friendship, even the other dude will realize that you're both extremely close, & he will usually take the steps to pull the blinds & lock the door before climbing into the sack w. you for a good rub down. He knows you're "not gay", but he also knows other people wouldn't understand if they walked in on the two of you with him undressed w. -- arms, legs, & torso draped over you (or in bed with you).  It's important to stay light hearted & playful ... wrestling & gentle grabbing (all in jest of course) will lower remaining inhibitions even further.  With my last "conquest" (said tongue in cheek because we're still great friends & I'd do anything for the guy in emergency), the climatic event occurred during a wrestling match where we were both in our skivvies.  I got him pinned really good & he sprouted wood (hey, a poem).  I told him is wasn't polite to point & then he really went nuts trying to escape as it continued to inflate.  I joked with him telling him he wasn't allowed to use it as a club to win our wrestling match.  Meanwhile I made sure to keep the pressure on his crotch as I kept him pinned.  I continued to laugh, joke & treat it like a non-event.  I told him that it looked like his pet python wanted to get "petted".  While smiling & making good eye contact, I reached down with my free hand & gave his dick a gentle squeeze while I slid the heel of my hand along his erection toward the base of his balls.  Carlos was laughing, thrashing & trying to get away & then began to say "fag"-this & "gay"-that, all while I just kept it lighthearted.  When the guy you're wrestling has an erection & is calling you names, the obvious come-back is something like: "You're calling me gay-names but you're the guy with the hard-on?  Me thinks the pot is calling the kettle 'black'!"  This is what I told Carlos as we kept laughing & wrestling.  As he continued to 'grow', I commented that his pet really looked like he'd grown since I'd seen him last.  Carlos was really straining trying to break free of my pin & began calling me "gay-epithets" again.  I told him, "Still insulting me?  That's it ... you're cumming, dude!", I laughed  I reached back down & with the heel of my hand I gave him a few slow strokes while he laughed, writhed & yelled.  Within a few seconds, his hardening shaft climbed right out through the fly in his boxers.  "Looks like your python has a mind of his own!", I joked -  being friendly like it was a non-event.  He just continued yell-laughing, & thrashing.  Carlos is really well endowed & as soon as he was hard, it was easy to get a grip & use his foreskin to stroke him with.  I just joked & said there was nothing there that I didn't have or hadn't done myself.  Then I stroked him away.  Once that started, he didn't last 90 seconds until he shot -- hard.  The last minute or so his struggling really subsided because, you see, what he was feeling felt extremely good.  I kept my attitude very upbeat & non threatening as I laughed & stroked away; -- letting him know that "I knew" that uncut guys were at the mercy of their dicks & the fact that it was me who got him off was meaningless -- it could have as easily been a strong wind I reasoned out loud!  I also let him know that he was a real machine & probably intimidated lots of guys.  The lesson is, never condemn, criticize or condescend. 
Keep in mind
: Carlos & I had been friends for a couple of YEARS before our play evolved to this.  However, once he knew that he could be completely open around the dude who treated him better than any other guy did ... he began to make little "truth or dare" bets that usually ended up with him getting his proverbial 'rocks off' at my, eh, hands.  Carlos is "straight", but he trusts his very best friend to jack him off (himself) & he also trusts his second best friend (me) with the job of "de-stressing Carlos". We have a great 'g0y' friendship with a level of intimacy that most people would never believe -- especially those who think they "know" us.  When something really good, or bad happens, -- I'm the one he calls first.  Why?  Because he knows that of all the people on the planet, - I really love him.  Not gAy ... g0y!

The G0YDAR Maneuver

SO....You're in bed with your buddy. It's platonically casual.
How do you find out if he's open to getting his nuts emptied without blowing your "cover"?

Use The G0YDAR Maneuver. 
Yeah: "The G0YDAR Maneuver":

Presumptions:

  • You're friends
  • He's very comfortable being touched by you (massage, etc.)
  • You're both mostly undressed already
  • You have probably never discussed same-gender sexual feelings (although not as true now as it once was).
  • Your suspicions tell you he'd do more, but if you're wrong it could be bad...

Technique:

  • He needs to be on his back.
  • You need to pretend to go to sleep before he does.
    • Deepen your breathing
    • Snore very lightly - just occasionally
    • Occasionally mumble softly something gibberish
  • While on your side facing him, slide your arm across him.
    • Make it seem like you are doing this in your sleep.
    • If he lets you rest it on top of him, - that's a good sign.
  • Wait two or three minutes.
    • Use this time to listen to his breathing.
    • If it gets deeper/faster - that's another good sign.
  • Cuddle into him lightly
  • At the same time, lower your arm so that your hand is across him & near his underwear waistline.
    • Correctly done, this move will also place your inner arm across his crotch.
    • The goal is to feel the bulge of his cock/balls under your arm.
  • Wait another few minutes to gauge his response.
    • If he seems to "fall asleep", that could be a good sign.
    • If you feel his erection begin to grow under your arm - that's great.
  • Cuddle into him lightly again as if you're sleeping deeper.
    • At the same time, move your arm slightly so that your fingers loosely snag his waistband.
    • The location you want to gently hook is as far onto his back as you can reach without being obvious.
  • At this point, you should have your arm across & around him with your fingers gently snagged close to the spine side of his briefs.
  • Wait about a minute or two.
    • Monitor his reactions. If he is "playing along: - pretending to be asleep - that's a good sign.
    • If he has sex on his mind, he probably has an erection forming & is breathing deeper with a faster pulse.
    • Your goal is to get him to lift his hips.
  • Some guys need a hint. Gently, but firmly apply some downward force on his waistband at your fingers.
    • Not much - just enough to convey to a guy who is awake that you want to remove his shorts, -but
    • Not so much that you pull them down beyond a few centimeters... It needs to seem like you're asleep.
  • Wait a few minutes while holding this position, BUT:
    • If he lifts his waist in a way that would make it easier to remove his briefs, - THAT is your cue! Do it!
    • If he doesn't respond - apply just a little more tug on his shorts. He may need to get the hint.
    • You can hold this position for a while. He may be debating in his mind what to do. Let his erection talk to him.
  • This maneuver is started in such a way so as you can always pretend you are/were sleeping.
    • If, for some reason he objects to your body position - you can pretend to awaken & groggily apologize for crowding him.
    • If that happens, simply pretend to be exhausted. Some guys are shy. You may need to try several attempts over time.
  • However, if he lifts his hips to allow you to remove his briefs,
    •  - he knows that if you're sleeping - you won't get the signal - so he's safe if he's misunderstood your 'message'.
    • - you'll know that he wants to get naked so accommodating him outs you both at the same time -Safely. See:
      • Your gentle snag on his waistband could be excused as something done in your sleep.
      • BUT - when he lifts his waist to allow removal of his shorts - that is a CLEAR SIGNAL.
      • But, he knows that IF you're really sleeping you won't even know he's signaling back which means he's not outing himself.
    • Once his underwear are off, take yours off & any other clothes you are wearing. And help him out of any more of his.
      • Some guys don't know what to do once naked.
      • It helps to plan in advance. Most guys love FR0T.
        • FR0T is done face to face, pecs to pecs, balls to balls one guy on top of the other.
        • Take your time. Enjoy the ride. Make love s l o w l y ....

Education Fast-Track:
Part of educating a guy about being a g0y is to make some simple observations to show him how harmless being with another guy physically really is:

A) It's all skin, Bro.  Whether  face, feet or foreskin, -- it's all just skin on skin. 
B) Nothing I haven't got; Nothing I haven't done.  Basically:  I'm a guy with a dick & I know how to make it happy.
C) News Flash: Jacking-off is sex with someone the same gender as you - that you trust intimately.  Hello!
D) It's not gAy ... nobody got arse-phucked.  That shit doesn't even enter my mind!
E) Do you think I'd ever do anything to hurt you or your reputation Bro?  I luv ya: Trust, eh?
F) Guys love to cum & I kinda like watch'n ya lose control.  ...Not a big deal.  (Combine with B above)
G) It's kewl ... a guy thing.  N0T gAy ... "G0Y"!  It's total respect bro.  You trust me, right?  Relax.
H) It's a sad day when people routinely get closer to animals than they do their friends.  Roll over Rover.

And keep in mind: These are not techniques to seduce str8-guys (Kinsey-0's).  This is "verbal sparring" to relax a g0y who may be confused about what he's feeling & the stigmas he feels attached to male/male bonding because of negative "gAy" press.  


Retrospective on Guys Seducing Guys:

One of the reasons it's fairly easy to seduce a guy (even if you're a guy) - is because most guys don't object to it happening to them as long as it's done in the 'right tone'.  After all -- it's a "friendship" that grows closer & less formal over time.  Time is usually a major element -- because after all, -this IS A REAL FRIENDSHIP & they take TIME!  DUH!  See, unlike the guy trying to pick up a lady with a few smart-arse lines ... a dude seducing another dude will make a close friendship integral to the last stage -- physical intimacy.  Depending on the personalities of each guy and the position on Kinsey's scale -- the amount of time this takes is a wide variable.  Also -- the more attractive YOU ARE as a guy plays a major role.  This is because: MOST GUYS ARE BI. Of course -- anticipating the needs of a guy & being there to fill in the gap is a massive way of letting a guy know that you care about him as a friend.  Actions speak volumes louder than words.  Got a friend who's going thru a financial hard time?  Leaving that $20 sticking out of the door jamb to be discovered after you leave is a great way to let your buddy know you care.  After all -- in a world where people love money; -leaving it - lets your friend know where he falls in your eyes.  It's non-verbal & powerful.  You do love your friend more than money, right? "Love will give gratis what cannot be compelled by force."-Veh
Physical affection is the key hurdle to get him over.  Once you're wrestling & you've managed to get massaging on the guy ... the process is at top speed.  Hanging out turns into staying overnight & sharing the same bed.  Being stripped down in the same bed is a step away from gentle wrestling involving some light tickling & joking-groping.  This process takes time -- seldom happening in a single session. It needs to feel spontaneous & once you're this closely bonded to another guy -- he'll eventually let you do what he alone is trusted to do with his masculine locus: The "JO".  This is why the trust factor needs to be 2nd to none.  And after the guy ejaculates under the guide of your accepting hand, etc; -- The act will create a bond because of the neurotransmitters released in the process.   It's very important that you be ready to explain what "g0y is" soon after -- to comfort the guy who's been brainwashed about same-sex attractions being "bad" his whole life.  No camp ... &  no arse-phuck means g0y -- not gAy.  Two buddies helping each other dissipate sexual tension is the closest bonding experience that best friends can share.  Be naked without shame & he will be too. "But the fruit of the God's Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law." - Rabbi Saul/Paul


Got Balls?

Hooking up with other guys can be fast-tracked by taking a couple of steps. 

Join a gym. Nuff said about the advantages of that. However, buying a home gym (even if only a single, multi purpose machine) makes a great stage & excuse for guys to hook up regularly). And it can be argued that this equipment should be part of every guy's home - especially g0ys. Set a simple goal to use it merely 60 seconds a day and you'll discover that soon you'll be using it more than that!  Here are a few suggestions for equipment.

  • Join a 'have-a-good-time' sports team -like softball (etc.).

    • It gives you a very valid excuse to "get out & about".

    • It gets you around other guys (+50% of which will be g0y).

    • It's more about having fun than winning. Really.

    • Most teams get social after the game (visit pubs, etc).

    • Gives you something to invite other guys to do, too.

    • If your team is good, you'll travel to tournament games (really gets you away)!

  • Be the "Designated Driver". You stay sober & wait for the guys you're driving for to get "friendly" as the party works 'em over.  Lots of opportunities arise to be friendly right back at them!  Over time, you'll figure out who the g0ys are & that they were around you all the while --just not obvious. It's a GUY-thing; -NOT a gAy thing!

Potential Meeting Sites

 

How do you find G0YS on these sites?
Note: Very few of these dating sites actually hold to g0y principles. Good luck...

Post a personal ad there.
Within that ad, be sure to mention that you're a 'G0Y' - seeking G0YS
Include a LINK or URL pointing at http://g0ys.org (spelled w. a zer0)
        Besides being a great way to plug g0ys.org, that link also lets guys know what you're about
      before they waste your time or theirs!

Many systems don't allow URLs in ads - so write something like "G00GLE G0YS" 2learn more.
Picture ads get lots more hits.

Let your Personal ad do the work!


But, there are no g0ys where I live!

Wrong! G0YS are everywhere. They generally don't advertise by participating in "gay" events not do they make any efforts to put on the affectations of freaks. Hence they don't walk with a lisp, etc.

Consider utilizing the suggestions given above -especially those on the Potential Meeting Sites list.  And the hard truth may be that you need to change/improve you before you end up discovering "who the g0ys are".